生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S03E16

Part 2 Oct. 4, 2019, 1:43 p.m.

I'm not going to pay a fine.
我才不去交罚金
That would imply I'm guilty.
那就说明我有罪
You are guilty.
你确实有罪
[《法律与秩序》的主题曲]
That one I liked.
这个我喜欢
I am not guilty.
我是无罪的
I only have a learner's permit.
我只有实习驾照
Penny was the teacher.
佩妮教我的
When the light turned yellow she said "Go, go, go."
转黄灯时她就说"快快快"
So I went, went, went.
于是我就"开开开"
Sheldon, I'm sorry.
谢尔顿对不起
I'll be happy to reimburse you for the fine.
我会还你罚金的钱
You know, as soon as I get a part in a movie or my own TV series.
只要我能参演一部电影或者自己拍个电视剧
You don't need to reimburse me because I'm not paying.
不用你还因为我不会交的
On Thursday, I will have my day in court and justice will be done.
周四那天我会去法♥院♥ 正义会得到伸张
In fact, I'm going to begin preparing my defense right now.
我现在就着手准备辩护
Okay, he's going to jail.
他坐定牢了
Oh, that's right. Thursday is Stan Lee Day.
对哦周四是斯坦·李签名日
Now you see what you've done?
看到你做的好事了吧
Because of you, we're all going to miss Stan Lee.
就因为你我们都见不到斯坦·李了
What do you mean "all?"
你说"都"是什么意思
Well, you're my friends.
你们是我朋友啊
You'll be standing by my side, supporting me, feeding me legal precedents,
你们要站在我旁边支持我为我提供案例
and if you had the upper body strength,
你们上身要是够壮
carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.
我胜诉时可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去
Yeah, okay. No.
这个嘛不行
Are you saying that you will not stand beside me
你是说我为自己辩护时
as I plead my case?
你不会来站在我身边吗
That's what I'm saying.
是这个意思
Howard?
霍华德
Uh, Stan Lee, or you in court.
斯坦·李法庭上的你
Uh, if this was Sophie's Choice
要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单
it would've been a much shorter movie. No.
电影就不会那么长了不行
Raj? You'll be there, won't you?
拉杰你会来吧
All right, then. My so-called friends have forsaken me.
那好吧我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我
So, I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness.
看来只剩我和目击证人了
Oh, balls.
晕死
Please try to wear something appropriate.
请着装得体一点
It won't help my case
要是法官只顾着想
if the judge is busy trying to read the word "Juicy"
你屁♥股♥上'美味多汁'的意思
scrawled across your buttocks.
对我的案子没好处
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
That's just wrong.
节奏不对
All right, let's go.
好了走吧
Wait, hold on. Before we get to the courthouse,
等一下去法♥院♥之前
I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.
我想看一下你的演技
What is this?
这是什么
I've taken the liberty
我冒昧地
of scripting your appearance on the witness stand
为你起草了出庭作证的剧本
because, let's face it, you're somewhat of a loose cannon.
面对现实你有点我行我素
Now, don't worry; it's written in your vernacular.
别担心都是用你的方言写的
So shall we rehearse?
我们排练一下如何
Do I have a choice?
我有得选吗
Well, of course you have a choice.
你当然有选择权
Although we live in a deterministic universe,
虽然我们生活在宿命里
each individual has free will.
但每个人都有自♥由♥选择的权力
Now, sit down.
给我坐下
I call your attention to the events of November 16.
请你回忆下 11月16日发生的事
Do you remember that date?
你记得那天吗
"Darn tootin', I do.
废话我记得
"If the court will excuse my homespun,
请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加
corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase."
粗俗简朴的语言
Excellent. Go on.
很好继续
"The reason that date is, like,
我记得那天
"so totally fixed in my memory
而且铭记在我的脑子里
"is that I had the privilege to be witness
是因为我有幸目睹了
to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in, like, ever."
毕生从未见过的英勇行为
"And who performed that heroic act?"
谁的英勇行为
"Why, you did, sir.
您的啊阁下
"You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
您谢尔顿·库珀博士
And may I add, it is a privilege to know you."
而且我想说我很荣幸认识您
"There's no need for compliments.
不必称赞我
This court is only interested in the facts."
法庭只看重事实
"But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you.
但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊
Totally."
真的
A teardrop rolls down my cheek?!
一滴泪从我面颊流下
Only a suggestion.
纯属建议
A catch in your throat would work just as well.
喉咙哽咽一下也可以
"But it is a fact
但我感觉
"that it's a privilege to know you.
很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊
Totally."
真的
Maybe you should put on your "Juicy" pants again.
你还是穿"美味多汁"的裤子吧
Pay the cashier.
去交罚金
Sheldon Cooper.
谢尔顿·库珀
Good morning, Your Honor.
早上好法官大人
Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se.
我是谢尔顿·库珀博士自我辩护
That is to say, representing himself.
也就是说代表我自己
I know what it means.
我知道什么意思
I went to law school.
我读过法律学校
And yet you wound up in traffic court.
结果却在审理交通法庭
Anyway,
不管怎样
if it would please the court,
法官允许的话
I'd like to begin with an opening statement.
我想做个开庭陈述
The court would advise you to make it quick,
法官会建议你简短点
as the court had a dicey-looking breakfast burrito this morning
因为法官早上吃了可能馊了的玉米煎饼
and just took an Imodium.
而且刚吃了易蒙停(止泻药)
A quick opening statement.
快速的开场陈述
Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs.
如同一个挤奶凳本案有三个立足点
I will demonstrate
我要论证的是
that I was improperly instructed in driving
我在驾驶过程中受到一个女人的误导
by a woman whose lack of respect for society
这个女人缺乏社会上
borders on the sociopathic.
对反♥社♥会♥界定的基本认识
I will argue
我要争辩的是
that the emergency met the legal doctrine
紧急情况下的法律原理
of quod est necessarium est licitum--
是需要即合法[拉丁文]
that which is necessary is legal.
也就是需要即合法
But first,
但首先
I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.
我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案]
I'm unable to confront my accuser,
我无法与控方对峙
a non-human entity, to wit,
因为控方是一台非人类机器
a camera.
也就是摄像机
So, to sum up:
所以综上所述
improper instruction;
错误指导
quod est necessarium est licitum;
加上"需要即合法"的原理
Sixth Amendment.
还有第六条修正案
My milk stool is complete.
我的挤奶凳辨述完毕
Impressive.
佩服佩服
Thank you.
谢谢
Guilty.
罪名成立
Pay the cashier.
去付钱吧
I object.
我反对
You're completely ignoring the law.
你这是在无视法律
No, I'm following the law.
不我遵守法律
I'm ignoring you.
只是在无视你
Really?
是吗
I would point out that I am at the top of my profession,
提醒你一下我可是业内顶尖人士
while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.
你却坐在桌子后面过家家
Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt
库珀博士我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉
and throw you in jail, I'm going to give you a chance