生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S03E03
Part 1
Oct. 4, 2019, 1:43 p.m.
生活大爆♥炸♥
第三季第三集
I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright
今晚我要出去 心情大好
Gonna let it all hang out
我要好好爽一下
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
放声歌♥唱 升三个八度
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
耶 我要大唱大叫
De-de-de, de-de-de-de-de, uh
滴滴啦啦
No.. Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me.
不 早安 谢尔顿 和我一起跳舞吧
No.
不要
Why not?
干嘛不要
Penny, while I subscribe to
佩妮 我支持"多个世界"理论
The "many worlds" theory which pots the existence
这个理论表明
Of an infinite number of sheldons
在无限个宇宙中存在着
In an infinite number of universes,
无限个谢尔顿
I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.
我向你保证其中没一个"我"是在跳舞的
Are you fun in any of them?
那这些"你"里有没有幽默一点的
The math would suggest
根据推算
That in a few I'm a clown made of candy.
其中有几个"我"是糖娃娃
But I don't dance.
但是绝不跳舞
Alright, want some French toast?
行吧 来点法式吐司不
It's oatmeal day.
今天是燕麦粥日
Tell you what, next French toast day, I'll make you oatmeal.
这样吧 下个法式吐司日 我给你煮燕麦粥
Dear lord, are you still going to be here on French toast day?
神啊 你还要在这赖到法式吐司日啊
Morning.
早啊
Look, Leonard,
莱纳德 你看啊
Penny made French toast.
佩妮烤了法式吐司
Sorry I haven't given her your schedule yet.
抱歉我还没给她你的用餐日程表
It's an iCal download.
那是个iCal[Apple电子日程表]下载啊
She can put it right in her phone.
她可以直接下到手♥机♥里的
And I thought we agreed
而且我想咱们说好了的
That you'd have your conjugal visits in her apartment.
你们只在她那儿行房♥事
We did, but there were extenuating circumstances.
是说好了 但是现在是特殊情况
I see.
我明白了
Did her abysmal housekeeping skills
她浑身的傻气
Finally trump her perkiness?
终于被她那盖世的家务活能力打♥压♥下去了是吗
No, her bed kind of... Broke.
不 是她的床有点散架了
That doesn't seem likely.
这是不太可能的
Her bed's of sturdy construction.
她的床的构造很结实
Even the addition of a second
就算多承重一个
Normal size human being wouldn't cause a structural failure,
正常体型的人类也不会引致其床架松动的
Much less a homunculus such as yourself.
更别提像你这样的小雏形人了
A homunculus?
小雏形人
Perfectly formed miniature human being.
功能健全的迷你型人类
Oh, you're my little homunculus.
你这我的小宝贝雏形人
Don't do that.
别这样
Sorry.
抱歉
Okay, who wants syrup and who wants cinnamon sugar?
好啦 谁要普通糖浆谁要肉桂糖浆呀
I want oatmeal.
我要燕麦粥
Yes, well
行啊
I want a boyfriend whose roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass.
我想要个室友不是大混♥蛋♥的男朋友
I'm sure that will happen soon enough.
这个愿望很快就能实现了
But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal.
但我还是要燕麦粥
You know what, I give up.
得了 我投降
He's impossible.
怎么会有他这种人
I can't be impossible, I exist.
怎么会没有 我就是存在的
I believe what you meant to say is,
我相信你想说的是
"I give up, he's improbable."
"我投降 这种人几乎是不存在的"
Sheldon, you really need to find a better way
谢尔顿 你真得换个方式
Of dealing with penny.
和佩妮相处了
What am I supposed to do--
那我该怎么做
Eat french toast on a Monday?
在礼拜一吃法式吐司吗
Now, that would be impossible.
这种情况才是不存在的
I'm just saying, you can catch more flies with honey
我只是说 你想抓苍蝇的话得用蜂蜜
Than with vinegar.
而不是醋
You can catch even more flies with manure.
你用粪粪还能抓更多呢
What's your point?
你到底想说什么
It's a...
这个...
Boy, that does smell good.
天 还挺香的呢
Too bad it's Monday.
太遗憾了 今儿就是礼拜一
Okay, Kim the night manager went on maternity leave
我们经理基姆去休产假了
And her husband's name is Sandy, right?
她老公叫桑迪
So get this--
然后
Her replacement is a woman named Sandy
顶她班的是一个叫桑迪的女人
Whose husband's name is Kim.
而她老公叫基姆
- Wow! - I know!
-哇啊 -是啊
What are the odds?
这什么概率哦
Easily calculable.
很好算嘛
We begin by identifying a set of married couples
先找到几对双方都取中性名字的
With unisex names.
已婚夫妇
We then eliminate those unqualified
然后剔除那些不适合
For restaurant work--
从事餐饮工作的
The aged, the imprisoned and the limbless, for example,
比如说年老的 坐牢的 残疾的
- Next we look at... - Sheldon--
-再然后就 -谢尔顿
It's an amazing coincidence.
这是一个奇妙的巧合
Can we leave it at that?
就这样了行吗
I'm sorry.
对不起
Ooh, Penny. It's as if the cheese-cake factory is run by witches.
喔佩妮 你们奶酪蛋糕工厂就好像是巫婆们开的
Ooh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you.
喔谢尔顿 别以为我不会揍你
Come on, you guys, let it go.
行啦 你俩 别吵了
Fine, whatever.
哼 随便吧
Are you finished?
你吃完了吗
Well, thank you.
谢了
How thoughtful.
多么体贴
Would you like a chocolate?
你要吃巧克力吗
Um, yeah, sure.
好啊
Thanks.
多谢啦
What was that?
这算什么
You said be nice to Penny.
你让我对佩妮好点的
I believe offering chocolate to someone
我觉得给别人喂巧克力
Falls within the definition of nice.
能够符合"好"的定义
It does.
没错
But in my experience, you don't.
但就我观察 你这人不符合
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
何瑞修 宇宙间无奇不有
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy
不是你的哲学全能梦想得到的[哈姆雷特 第一幕;第五景]
Now that's you
这才是你嘛
Obnoxious and insufferable.
讨厌而且让人难以忍♥受
What's going on, day dwellers?
日居者们 你们好啊
Oh, man, did the kiss army repeal "don't ask, don't tell"?
KISS[美重金属乐队]粉丝团也废除了"不许问不许说"[美军处理同性恋旧政策]吗
No.
不是
Raj and I are going to a goth club in Hollywood
我和拉杰要去好莱坞的哥特夜♥总♥会♥
To hang with the night people.
和夜猫子一起玩儿
Anybody want to come along?
有人想一起去吗
Oh, wow, you're actually going out like that?
你真要这样上街吗
No, no.
不不
I'm going out like this...
我要这样上街
Howard, what did you do?
霍华德 你做了些什么
They're called tattoo sleeves.
这叫纹身袖
Look.
看
I go them online! Raj got a set, too..
我在网上买♥♥的 拉杰也买♥♥了一身
Fantastic, right?
帅死了 是吧
Put them on, have hot sex with some freaky girl
穿上它 就能和前卫女孩
With her business pierced, take them off,
发生韵事 脱下他
I can still be buried in a jewish cemetery.
我依旧是个恪礼守节的犹太人
You know, I've always wanted
知道吗
To go to a goth nightclub.
我一直都想去哥特夜♥总♥会♥
Really?
真的吗
Bazinga!
才怪呢
None of you ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?
没有人能察觉到我的玩笑 对吧
Okay, how about you two?
你们俩去吗
Look, I've got some extra tatoo sleeves.
我还带了几个纹身袖
Why are you carrying extras?
你带那么多干什么
生活大爆炸
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