女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S07E03

Part 2 Oct. 19, 2019, 8:41 p.m.

大多数来自墨西哥
Majority are from Mexico,
其次是萨尔瓦多洪都拉斯危地马拉
followed by El Salvador, Honduras, Guatemala.
然后还有其他地域的
Then we have your others.
你的海地人牙买♥♥加人非洲人
Your, uh, Haitians, your Jamaicans, general Africans.
当然也有亚洲书呆子亚洲屌♥人
Of course, there's your Asian nerds, your cool Asians.
但是要小心那些"无情心机女"
But beware of the Plastics.
那是《贱女孩》里的梗
That was a Mean Girls joke.
所以这就像迪士尼的小小世界之旅
So it's like the It's a Small World ride,
但是没有了欢乐和歌♥声
but minus the joy and the singing.
排队的人也很多
And the line is just as long.
一些改良派的辩护律师告诉
Some do-gooder lawyer-advocate types told the detainees
那些在厨房♥工作的拘留犯她们没有工资
who were working in the kitchen that they don't get paid
对她们的案子也没帮助她们就不干了
and it doesn't help their case, so they quit.
看来你有第一个任务了
Looks like you have your first task.
幸运的是监狱里就有美国最廉价的劳动力
Luckily, America's cheapest labor force is just down the hill.
太不公平了这绝对是犯罪
This is so unfair! This shit should be legit a crime.
长着一根那样的老二
To have a dick like that.
他有一根梦幻老二还想带我去洛杉矶
He had a Make-A-Wish dick, and he wanted to take me to LA.
我本可以成为一个妻子
I could've been a wifey
或是一个花瓶妻子
or a trophy wife
或者是《真实的家庭主妇》里那种妻子
or a Real Housewife.
我只想当一个
All I ever wanted to be was
涵盖"妻子"这两个字的人你知道吗
anything with the word "Wife" in it, you know?
但是不行我必须拒绝他
But no! I had to say no.
然后去那个该死的
And go to that stupid fucking
靛蓝酒吧和这些人待在一起
Indigo club and get scooped up with all these people.
-无意冒犯 -没关系
- No offense. - None taken.
我不懂的是
What I don't understand is
你怎么在没有证件的情况下进了那个酒吧
how you even got into that club without ID.
啥看看我我不需要证件就能进那些地方
Hello? Look at me. I don't need an ID to get into places.
这是我的特权
That's kinda like my thing.
她看起来有点像《欢乐合唱团》
She kinda looks like that
里的那个女孩但是轮廓更深
girl from Glee but with sharper lines, you know?
你知道出狱后要拿到证件有多难吗
You know how hard it is to get an ID after prison?
-抱歉我不是罪犯 -你有什么毛病
- Sorry, I'm not a criminal. - What is your fucking problem?
像你这样的人
People like you
就是为什么我们其他人会如此艰难
are the reason this is so hard for the rest of us.
贱♥人♥ 我在这里出生我是合法地犯罪
Bitch, I was born here. I committed my crime legally.
谢天谢地你在这里
Thank God you're in here.
你知道我的意思这太残忍♥了
You know what I mean. This shit's brutal.
我必须要联♥系♥下谁
I need to get in touch with someone
这样我就能证明我是本国出生的
so that I can prove that I was born here.
-我要去申请打电♥话♥ -不能打电♥话♥
- I'm gonna ask for my phone call. - You don't get a phone call.
但是那里有电♥话♥啊
But there are phones right there.
不能免费打
You don't get a free call.
你要花钱建一个账户按分钟付费
You gotta pay to set up an account, and you gotta pay per minute.
好吧去他妈的
Okay, well, fuck that.
等把分配给我的律师来了
When I get assigned my lawyer,
第一件事就先解决这个问题
that's the first thing I'm gonna do.
没有律师
You don't get a lawyer.
什么可是美国
What? This is America.
这里面不是
Not in here.
这里是监狱的样子有监狱的味道
It looks like a prison, it smells like a prison,
但并不是监狱
but it's not a prison.
比监狱更差
It's worse.
好了我知道你拉着一张寡妇脸
Okay, I get that you're all Sally Sadface
是因为你的非法身份
because you're an illegal and everything,
但我可不是
but that's just not me.
我不是非法移♥民♥
I'm not an illegal.
抱歉 "没有正式文件"之类的嘛
Sorry. "Undocumented" or whatever.
但是如果我们合作
But if we work together,
就能联♥系♥到外面的人了
we can get in touch with someone on the outside.
等等不如就打给你男朋友
Oh, wait, what about your boyfriend?
结束了
It's over.
*我们都会死去*
*We're all gonna die!*
*现在*
*Now!*
听着各位
Listen up, arrimados!
在警♥察♥来之前
Before the police come,
不要忘了我们今晚为什么要聚在这
let's not forget why we came here tonight.
这个派对虽然是非法的但那个女人不是
This party may be illegal, but that woman right there is not!
迪阿布洛性感浪漫先生
Diablo, Mr. Sexy Romantic,
让我们为你办这个派对
made us throw you this party.
恭喜你拿到绿卡布兰卡
Congratulations on the green card, Blanca!
告诉我们感觉如何
Tell us how it feels.
真的吗
Really?
好吧感觉
Well, it feels...
无敌的好
Very good!
像是如释重负
And, like, a relief.
我知道好像很可笑但是
And I know this is a bit ridiculous, but...
之前在圣多明戈
back in Santo Domingo,
我爸妈总是吵架
my mom and dad would argue a lot...
我们家非常小只有两个房♥间
and our place was tiny, we had two rooms,
没有其它地方可去
there was nowhere to go.
我记得《活宝兄弟》里有首歌♥
And I remember that song from the show, Perfect Strangers.
巴尔金和莱瑞两兄弟那部
You know, with Balki and Larry?
巴尔金会拿着那个"美国或爆♥炸♥"的牌子
And Balki would have that "America or Burst" sign,
我就想 "那个国家太好了
and I thought, "Wow, that country looks amazing.
在那里一切皆有可能
Anything is possible there."
现在我来了
And now I'm here.
我只用给别人换一堆成人纸尿裤
All I had to do was change a bunch of adult diapers...
填完所有的表格等上十二年然后
fill out all the paperwork, wait 12 years, and then...
欢迎来到美国
Welcome to America!
但是这一切都没关系
But none of that matters.
我爱这个国家
I love this country...
因为在这里遇见了迪阿布洛
because it gave me Diablo.
别再说这么老掉牙的话了
Say something less fucking corny!
闭嘴吧你大屁♥股♥脸
Shut up, buttface!
我爱你
I love you.
等等等等等等你爱我
Wait, wait, wait. You love me?
对我爱你
Yeah, I do.
宝贝儿我也爱你
Baby, I love you, too.
很久之前就想告诉你了
I've been wanting to tell you for so long,
但是你是在太高冷了
but you're so intimidating.
现在你都说了
And now that you've said it,
我也可以说了
I can say it.
宝贝儿我超爱你
Baby, I love you so much.
看你这么老套的话搞得我好性奋
You make me so horny when you're this cheesy.
姐们儿你不能再拿别人的布丁了
Dude, you've got to stop taking other people's puddings.
为什么这个国家抢别人布丁的历史可悠久了
Why? There is a long history in this country of pudding taking,
而且分为巧克力和香草两个阵营[黑人白人]
and it divides along chocolate and vanilla lines.
还有奶油硬糖味那是土著人
Also, butterscotch. That's the Natives.
所以我才要
And that's why I...
-我靠 -吃这个布丁
- God damn it! - ...eat this pudding.
好吧听着
All right, listen.
你这么做只会惹恼这些老太太
All it's doing at this point is pissing off the senior citizens.
我来问你一个问题
Let me ask you a question.
你真正想要的是什么
What is it you really want?
冰淇淋
Ice cream.
还有公正
And justice.
这不公平因为辛迪说谎了
It's not fair that because Cindy lied,
美味姐就要坐一辈子牢
Taystee has to be in prison now forever?
一辈子对
For ever ever? Yes.
甚至都没法补救
And it can't even be fixed,
因为她俩都不会住一间牢房♥了
because they won't even be in the same room together.
除非我能把她们弄进同一间屋子
Unless I can get them in the same room together.
等等但是他们讨厌对方
Wait. But they hate each other.
除非我能让两个
Unless I can get two people
相互憎恨的人待在同一间屋子里
who hate each other in the same room.
但两个相互憎恨的人为什么会待在同一间屋子里
But why would two people who hate each other be in the same...
除非不
Unless... No.