迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S01E03
Part 1
Dec. 15, 2020, 2:36 p.m.
Have you lost weight?
你是不是瘦了
I have, and thank you for noticing.
是的 多谢你的留意
I Thought so. When you were bent over tying your shoes...
我想也是 刚你弯腰系鞋带的时候
...your wallet didn't look
你的钱包看起来
like it was trying to bust out of your ass.
不像要从屁包里挤出来
Do you, uh, always check out my behind when I'm bent over?
你 总在我弯腰时看我后面么
Well, I try to look every other way,
我试着看别的地方
but that thing is in IMAX.
但你那部位简直是IMAX电影
well Regardless, I feel better,I got more energy.
不管怎样 我现在感觉很好 精力更足
I don't know if you're aware of this...
不知道你是不是也注意到
...but for a long time I struggled with a midday lag.
我一直有一种午间时间落差
If you mean that time between noon and 5...
如果你指12点到5点
...where I drive and you sleep, yeah, I've noticed.
我开车你睡觉的时间段 嗯 我注意到了
No more. And the great thing is I'm not dieting.
不会再这样了 最好的是我现在不节食了
I eat whatever I want. It's all about portion control.
想吃啥吃啥 控制好食量就行了
I've been preaching moderation for years.
"适量法则"我已经听了十几年了
The stomach understood. The ears weren't ready to listen.
胃理解 但耳朵就左进右出
Morning, gentlemen. Hey, Samuel.
早上好 二位 Samuel
I'll have the French toast
我要份法式吐司
with hash browns and a large orange juice.
炸薯饼和大杯橙汁
Good choice. And for you, big and bountiful?
选得好 大块头要点啥呢
I will have a half a cup of Grape-Nuts, two inches of bacon...
我要半杯麦粉 2英寸长的培根
...and one silver dollar pancake with a teaspoon of syrup.
一块硬币大小的饼配一茶匙糖浆
Is he making a joke?
他在说笑吧
I usually find more food than that under his chair.
他椅子下吃洒了的食物都比他刚说的多
Afraid not.
不是玩笑
Okay.
好吧
Would you like skim milk on your Grape-Nuts?
麦粉里要放点脱脂牛奶么
No, whole milk, but just a whisper.
不 全脂奶 但只要一点点
I like my nuts crunchy.
我喜欢麦粉吃起来脆脆的
You are certain my chain is not being yanked?
你确定他不是在找我茬
Huh.
好吧
You understand my suspicions, right?
你该能理解我的疑虑吧
Just go get my food!
赶紧把吃的给我拿过来
What you got going on tonight?
你今晚有啥安排么
Nothing. I was thinking about asking Molly out again.
我打算再跟Molly约会一次
Are you crazy? You can't ask a woman out on the same day.
你疯了吗 你不能在同一天约同一个女人2次
Why not?
为什么不行
'cause even if she's got nothing going on...
因为即使她没什么事做
...she's gonna tell you she's
她也会说
got something going on so you don't think...
她有事要做 所以你打电♥话♥的时候
...she's got nothing when you call and ask what's going on.
别以为她没事做 还问她在做什么
So should I call her or not?
那我到底要不要打给她
Sure, you got nothing going on.
当然 你没有什么事做嘛
Really? What are you doing tonight,
甚合我意 你今晚有啥安排
making fondue with your grandma?
和奶奶做奶酪么
It's chili night.
今晚做辣椒
You know, I was thinking maybe I'd ask Molly to go bowling.
我打算约Molly去打保龄球
Bowling? Oh, you dog.
保龄球 哦 你个坏小子
I see the tender trap you're baiting.
不怀好意哦
What? It's just a second date.
怎么了 这不过是第二次约会而已
I figured it'd be a fun, no-pressure kind of deal.
我觉得保龄球好玩又放松
Uh-huh. It has nothing to do with the fact that,
你也无所谓
when it comes to bowling...
你一碰到保龄球
...you're a chunky, white Michael Jordan?
就成了白人版矮胖乔丹这个事实吧
It does not. Not to mention a sight to behold...
我无所谓 那你也不在乎
...in that pink and black shirt with the matching ball?
你的球和黑粉T恤引起的各种围观吧
You know, I won that ball in the police league tournament.
那球是我在警队联赛上赢来的
I built the ensemble around it.
我甚至弄了全套装饰在它周围
You smooth-ass Casanova, you.
你跟Casanova一样风流
I'm not a Casanova.
我才不是Casanova
I haven't even kissed this girl yet.
我都还没亲过女孩子
Forget kissing. You're gonna be looking at a 7-10 split.
别想什么亲亲了 你今晚就盯着那些保龄球吧
That little school teacher ain't gonna know what hit her...
等那个老师看着你捣鼓那10个
...when she sees you treat
最难搞的保龄球的时候
those pins like your 10 little bitches.
她肯定会搞不明白你在做什么
Whether it goes that far or not, I wanna show her a good time.
不管今晚进行得如何 我都希望她能玩开心
She lives at home with her mom and her sister.
她和她妈妈 姐姐住在一起
She doesn't have a lot of excitement in her life.
生活比较平淡
No. No! Put the scissors down!
不不 把剪刀放下来
I'm gonna cut it off!
我要把头发剪了
No man is worth it.
没有任何男人值得你这么做
He said he loved me.
他说他爱我的
He's married.
他是个已婚男
He won't be after his wife gets my hair.
等她老婆收到我的头发 他就不是了
Well, I finally got Sweeney Todd to bed.
我终于把"理发师陶德"哄睡着了
How did you manage that?
你怎么做到的
I crushed up three Xanax and put it in her teeth whitening tray.
我把3颗阿普唑仓弄碎 抖进了她的洁牙具上
Well, it's all my fault she's so fragile.
她这么脆弱都怪我
I was too hard on her growing up.
我以前对她太严厉了
Too hard? You breast-fed her till she was 5.
太严厉了 你母乳喂养她到5岁
Would've done the same for you...
我本来也打算这么对你的
...except you were eating corn on the cob before you had teeth.
但你还没长牙就开始啃玉米了
Hello?
喂
Hey, Mike.
你好 Mike
Uh, not much. Hanging with Mom and Sis.
呃 没什么事做 和我妈还有我姐待着呢
Tonight?
今晚
You can't leave. Watch me.
你可不能走 看我走不走
Uh, bowling. Yeah, that sounds fun.
保龄球 很好啊
Your sister needs us now.
你姐姐现在需要我们
Hang on. Mom, she's doing this for attention.
你等一下 老妈 她这样做是为了吸引人注意
It's the same reason she's got a webcam in her bathroom.
这和她在浴室装摄像头是一样的道理
Fine.
好吧
But if you come home and find
但如果你回家
the coroner snapping a toe tag on your sister...
看到法医正在往你姐脚上绑标签
...promise me you won't blame yourself.
你可千万别怪你自己
Deal.
我答应你
I love him. I must go to him.
我爱他 我要去找他
Oh, damn, it's awake.
妈的 怎么就醒了
Sure. That sounds fun. Great.
当然 听起来不错 很好
Seven o'clock. I have to go.
7点见 拜拜
listen Why don't I just bring you a whole order of french fries...
为什么你不点一份正常量的炸薯条
...and you just eat 12 of them?
然后你只吃12根呢
If I could eat just 12, this shirt
如果我能自控只吃12根 那这衣服就
wouldn't look like it was made in an awning store.
不会看起来像是在雨篷店里做的
I tried that portion-control diet once.
我试过"少食减肥法"
Yeah? How did it go?
是么 效果如何
Gained 14 pounds.
反而长了14磅
Three freaking gummi bears at a time.
1次吃3颗小熊软糖
actually,I'm having wonderful success with it.
事实上 我倒是成功了
And if I stay on track,
如果我继续保持下去
I'm thinking next summer, shirtless at the beach.
明年夏天 我就敢在沙滩上裸上半身了
I'll bring the suntan lotion.
我会给你带防晒霜的
Just in case, bring a bucket and a paint roller.
以防万一 带一桶防晒霜和一把刷子来好了
Ha, ha. That is quite an outfit.
哈哈 这一身很靓啊
I'm guessing you've done this before.
你以前就玩保龄球吧
Well, I'm not gonna lie to you,
坦白从宽
I'm a bit of a legend in these parts.
在保龄球这个领域我算是个传奇人物了
Oh, really?
真的吗
Well, maybe legend's too strong.
也许传奇人物有点夸张
Folk hero.
民间英雄吧
Well, I'm prepared to be impressed.
我拭目以待
Me, I just did a little bowling in college,
我的话 在大学的时候打过几次保龄球
mostly as an excuse to drink.
其实都是为了喝酒找的借口
Yeah, you know, a lot of
你知道的 很多人
people like to mix alcohol with the sport...
都喜欢把运动和酒精搅在一起
...but I don't like my senses dulled.
但是我不喜欢用酒精麻痹我的感官
You can't put beer goggles on the eye of the tiger.
霸气十足的人可不能是醉眼蒙蒙的
Right.
那倒是
If you're interested in tips, I'm happy to help.
如果你需要一点建议 我乐意效劳
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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