迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S01E22
Part 2
Dec. 15, 2020, 2:39 p.m.
Molly. Voted teacher of the month...
Molly 月度最佳教师
...six times in a row. She received the coveted ceramic owl.
连续六个月哦 她得到了一个陶瓷猫头鹰
She doesn't really like me, though.
尽管她真的不怎么喜欢我
I mean, I get that kids are always standoffish...
我明白孩子们知道你在搞他母亲时
...when they know you're banging their mom.
都不太友好
But she goes the extra mile.
可她有点过分了
Yeah, she has yet to succumb to your unique charms.
是啊 她还没被你独特的魅力折服
Plus, women tell each other
另外 女人之间总爱八卦
everything and she'll end up blabbing it to Joyce.
她最后总会多嘴告诉Joyce的
Can't argue with you there. That family could talk underwater.
这点我同意 这家人在水下都能够八卦
Maybe you could get a tutor.
或者你找个家教
How about you? I don't know.
你来当怎么样 我不知道
I was always kind of a wing-and-a-prayer kind of student.
我一直都是那种临时抱佛脚的学生
They used to call me Mr. CliffsNotes.
他们原来叫我 大纲先生
But what about junior college?
那在专科大学呢
It's really just a high school where you can smoke.
那其实就是高中啦 只是可以抽烟
My point exactly. If a load like you
这就是我的点 如果你这样的人
can get kicked through the system...
都能完成学业
...there's still hope for me.
那我就有希望了
Well, that's not flattering,
不是拍马屁
but I can certainly see what got you there.
但我知道你为什么是现在这样了
Oh, a shower was a good idea. I am fresh as a daisy.
洗个澡真爽 我现在神清气爽了
Unfortunately, now your loofah smells like cigar smoke and BO.
不幸的是 你的浴球上全是雪茄和体臭的味道
Sexy.
很性感
Did you and Vince have a good time tonight?
今晚你和Vince聊得怎么样
It was okay. He's a decent enough guy.
还好啦 他是个不错的人
See, that's where you and I part ways.
看 这就是我们的不同了
What did he wanna talk to you about?
他想要给你说些什么
Nothing in particular. Just cigar talk.
没什么特别的 只是抽烟的闲聊
Cigar talk?
闲聊
You know, "This is a good cigar."
这烟不错
"Glad you like it." "I like it a lot."
你喜欢就好 我太喜欢了
"Hey, is that a cat?" "No, it's a possum." Cigar talk.
嘿 那是猫吗 不 是负鼠 这类抽烟的闲聊啦
Well, I guess that's more fun
我想肯定比和女朋友聊天
than having a conversation with your girlfriend.
有趣多了
Only because of the cigars and the possum sighting.
也就是因为雪茄和负鼠啦
May I offer you some squeaky-clean loving?
要我悄悄的打一炮吗
Hang on. Hang on.
等等 等等
So Vince just wanted to give you
所以Vince只是想给你
an $80 cigar and didn't want anything in return?
八十刀的雪茄 但不要任何东西作为回报
Same guy that offered you a box of steaks...
就是那个给你一箱牛排
...in exchange for a handicapped parking pass?
换残疾人专用通行证的人吗
I felt bad about that.
我还挺不好意思的
He'd already bought those nice aluminum crutches.
他连铝制拐杖都买♥♥好了呢
He just wanted to share
他只是想跟我私底下分享一些
something in confidence. You know, man-to-man.
男人间的秘密
Anything to do with my mom?
这和我妈有关吗
Not really. I mean, other than
没什么关系 除了
the fact he doesn't want her to know about it.
他不想让你妈知道之外
Are you telling me he's keeping something from her?
你是说他对我妈隐瞒了些什么
Just because he's deeply ashamed.
只是因为他很惭愧啦
Okay, so if that's a no on the sex, I will bid you good night.
好了 如果你不想来一发 那就晚安了
What can I do? A man tells me a secret,
那我能做什么 一个男人告诉了我一个秘密
I gotta take it to the grave.
我得守口如瓶啊
Of course.
那当然
So Vince Moranto didn't graduate high school.
所以Vince高中都没毕业
You understand why I couldn't tell Molly, right?
你明白我为什么不能告诉Molly是吧
Absolutely. It's a personal private matter.
肯定的 这是私人的隐私
And we all know women are notorious blabbermouths.
而且我们都知道女人太八卦太多嘴了
Hate to say it, but it is kind of true.
我讨厌说这话 但的确是
I tell my grandma one secret, next thing you know...
我告诉我奶奶个秘密 紧接着
...everybody in Church is peeking
教堂里所有人都偷偷的看
to see if I'm going commando under my choir robe.
我合唱长袍下面是不是裸着
You actually do that?
你真的没穿内♥裤♥
If they spent the money on air
如果他们把钱花在空调上
conditioning instead of that stupid youth bus...
而不是该死的青年大巴
...I wouldn't have to be
在唱Sweet Chariot的时候
swinging low while I'm singing "Sweet Chariot."
我还用得着摇晃吗
What are you talking about?
你们在说什么
Molly's mom's boyfriend told Mike something in confidence.
Molly老妈的男朋友告诉了Mike个秘密
Now Molly's upset because Mike didn't tell her what it is.
现在Molly很伤心因为Mike没告诉她是什么
Women love the gossip, don't they?
女人就是爱八卦 不是吗
In Senegal, I once dated two sisters at the same time.
在塞尔加尔 有次我同时和两姐妹约会
It was less than a week before they blabbed it to each other.
才不到一星期她们就穿帮了
On top of that, they tried to make me the bad guy.
更有甚者 她们怪罪于我
So, what is the big secret?
那个秘密是什么
Vince didn't graduate high school.
Vince高中没毕业
Interesting.
有趣
You know, Henry, the cook, is a dropout too.
那厨子 Hnery 也中途辍学了
But you didn't hear it from me.
你不是从我这听到的哦
I was looking through the study guides and they say...
我浏览了学习指南
...the best way to start is by taking a sample test.
它说最好开始做个简单的测试
Whoa, whoa, right to it? No foreplay?
等等 等等 直接就来了 没前戏
You don't wanna dance or rub zippers?
不来点贴身跳舞啊什么的
This is just a way to find out where your weak areas are...
这只是看看你的薄弱点在哪里
...and what we need to concentrate on.
知道哪里需要着重复习
I can tell you what my weak areas are.
我告诉你我的薄弱点
Processing dairy and taking tests.
消化乳制品 还有考试
And they both turn my bowels into an ass cannon.
两者都让我拉肚子
Vince, relax. And remember,
Vince 放轻松 记住
most of this stuff is just common sense.
大多数的都是常识
Take your time and do your best. All right.
慢慢来 尽力做就好 好吧
"Which of the following political actions...
下列几个政♥治♥行为
...violated the principles of unalienable rights of liberty...
哪个违反了自♥由♥宣言中中赋予人♥民♥的
...that evolved from the U.S. Declaration of Independence?"
不可剥夺的原则
Is this for high school
这是高中考试啊
or to become president of the United States?
还是选美国总统
Come on, just think it through and break it down.
快想一想 然后把题目消化了
I told you, I don't break things down well
告诉过你 我不能很好地消化
and I had a milk shake for lunch.
我中午还吃了奶昔
All right, let's just move on to the next question.
好了 下一题吧
Fine. "Which three of the original 13 colonies...?"
好吧 13个原始殖民地的哪3个
For crying out loud, I don't know if this is math or history.
天哪 这到底是数学还是历史
Yeah, I'm not really sure where they're headed either.
是哦 我也不知道这题要考啥
Just forget it. I'm not good at tests.
算了 我对考试太不在行了
I've never been good at tests.
我从来就不擅长
I get nervous, I can't focus, I get fidgety.
我一紧张 就不能集中精神 就烦躁
ADD? Hey, I can add.
多动症 加法我还是会的好吗
I just don't like tests.
只是不擅长考试
Bathroom break. Vince, we just got started.
我要上厕所 Vince 我们才刚开始呢
Wasn't really a question.
那不是个请求
This one right here was prom queen junior and senior year.
这儿 高二高三两年的舞会女王
She's a cute little filly.
一匹可爱的小雌马
Now she's a beer-hauling Clydesdale.
现在壮的可以拉啤酒了
Well, that prom queen is gonna be green with envy...
现在那舞后看见你练完瑜伽姣好的身材
...when she sees you walking in with your yoga booty...
还挽着性感的男人
...and your sexy man on your arm.
肯定嫉妒的脸都绿了
Oh, yeah. She'll be snorting and stomping her hoof.
哦 是哦 她肯定会鼻子哼哼腿脚跺跺的
I better bring some carrots and sugar cubes.
我最好带点什么胡萝卜和方糖去
Something smells good in here.
什么东西这么香
I'm trying a new brownie recipe.
我在试一种巧克力蛋糕的新配方
The secret is less brownie, more pot.
秘诀是少点巧克力蛋糕 多点大♥麻♥
Don't burn it like the last batch.
别像上次那样烧糊了
I was secondhand high for a week.
我抽了整整一个星期的二手烟
So where's Vince tonight?
Vince今晚哪去了
He said he had to work late, but he's coming over later.
他说要加班 但待会儿会来
That reminds me, I gotta wax the wigglies.
哦对了 我该要去脱毛了
Hey, is, uh, everything okay with you two?
嘿 你们俩还好吧
Sure.
当然
Have you noticed anything odd about his behavior?
你注意到他有什么奇怪的举动吗
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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