迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S01E05

Part 3 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:36 p.m.

Wait, you actually have won't-dos?
等等你还有不做的事
Thank you so much for this.
真谢谢你
She's a cosmetologist.
她是一个美容师
And just to clear up any confusion,
澄清一下疑惑
that is not a Russian astronaut.
这不是俄♥国♥宇航员
Not that she couldn't be one if she really applied herself.
也不是她不努力的结果
I work at several different funeral homes around the city.
我在芝加哥附近的几个殡仪馆工作
Funeral homes? Yeah.
殡仪馆对
You know, where they store dead people.
就是放死人的地方
I thought that was the symphony.
我以为是交响乐团
I didn't say a word and I had a wonderful time.
我一个字都没说但是我过的很愉快
So, what you're saying is
所以你要说
you apply makeup to the recently deceased?
你申请给刚死的人化妆
Tell him about the time you got really baked...
跟他说说你还是半吊子的时候
...and made that 80-year-old woman look like the drummer in KISS.
把一个80岁的女人画的像KISS里的鼓手
Hahaha! Oh, yeah.
哈哈哈喔对哦
One time, I got really baked...
有一次我真半吊子
...and made this 80-year-old woman look like the drummer in KISS.
把一个80岁的女人画的像KISS里的鼓手
What a great story. Yeah.
讲的真好是啊
Yeah, it's so much better when she tells it.
她讲就变的好多了
You know, Carl and I have
卡尔和我共事
been partners five years come November the 8th.
到11月8日就5年了
Has it been five years?
有5年吗
Pretty impressive, huh?
印象很深啊哈
Nice single guy.
不错的单身男人
Same job for five years. It's not court-mandated.
同样的工作做5年不是法♥院♥强制的
Not to embarrass him,
不是让他难堪
but he's actually saved my life a couple times.
他还好几次救了我的命
Now, don't be bringing that up.
这事还提它干嘛
These girls don't need to know all about my heroics.
这些女孩子不需要知道我全部的英雄事迹
You gonna tell the story or not?
你到底讲不讲的
Well, the first time was an armed robbery at a liquor store.
第一次是在外卖♥♥酒店的持械抢劫
The owner was on the ground, out cold.
老板倒在地上外面很冷
While I was checking his vitals...
当我检查他的命脉时
...the perp came busting out of the storeroom, gun in hand.
抢劫犯突然从储物室冲出来手里还拿着枪
Oh, my God. What did you do?
哦天啊那你怎么做的
I didn't have time to think.
我没时间想
This guy came out of nowhere like a ninja.
卡尔这家伙像忍♥者一样不知从哪冒出来了
Or Batman.
或者像蝙蝠侠
Whatever. He knocked the gun away, cuffed the guy.
无所谓了他把枪撞飞拷上了这家伙
Barely even broke a sweat.
几乎没流汗
What was the second time he saved you life?
第二次又是什么呢
Last year's Oktoberfest.
去年的十月节
They were selling two-for-one bratwursts.
他们在卖♥♥买♥♥♥二♥送♥一♥的德式小香肠
Me and three guys in lederhosen
我和其他三个家伙穿着皮短裤
had to link arms and give him the Heimlich.
连起手臂给他海姆利克氏操作法
Wow! You are a real hero, Officer Carl.
卡尔长官你真是一个英雄呢
Oh, no.
哪有
Little bit.
有一点吧
Michael Jordan just walked by.
迈克尔乔丹刚过去了
Sweet Lord, it is.
天啊就是他
It's Jordan.
乔丹
I love Michael Jordan.
我喜欢迈克尔乔丹
I don't know what it is about bald black men.
我不懂秃顶黑人是什么意思
They're just so sexy.
他们看起来好性感
Thank you, again.
再一次谢谢你
Michael Jordan is a punk-ass bitch.
迈克尔乔丹就一欠操的婊♥子♥
Damn, they seemed to really be hitting it off.
可恶他们看起来很合得来的
Yeah, tough break. Poor guy.
是啊走霉运可怜的娃
You think there's any chance
你姐姐有没可能
your sister could get me Jordan's autograph?
搞到迈克尔乔丹的亲笔签名
I think his hands are gonna be kind of busy tonight.
他的手今晚有得忙了
I'll be right there, Carl!
我马上来卡尔
I should probably get him home. He's had a tough night.
我该送他回家了他今晚过得真糟糕
You're such a good friend to him.
你对他真够朋友
He'd do the same for me.
他对我也是
Hey, after you drop him off, why don't you circle back?
你送他回去之后要不再转回来
He's gonna wanna talk and it's probably gonna be pretty late.
他会苦诉很久到时估计很晚了
Oh, that's a shame.
真遗憾
There was a pretty good chance you were gonna get lucky tonight.
今晚你本来有一个好机会的
What's that?
什么
Unless you think our
除非你觉得我们
relationship's not ready to move to the next level.
的关系还没发展到下一步
No. It is. Let me dump that crybaby off, I'll be right back.
不是到了等我把那家伙卸货后我立马来
I'll leave the door unlocked.
我会把门开着
Doesn't matter. I'd chew through it.
无所谓我会把门咬碎了进去
Life is unpredictable. One minute,
生活真难捉摸前一分钟
you're having drinks with a beautiful girl...
你还在和一位美丽的女士喝着酒
...next minute, your friend's driving you home...
下一分钟只剩你朋友送你回家
...pulling up in front of your grandma's house...
停在你奶奶的屋子前
...slowing down for you to safely exit...
慢慢减速到你安全下车
...and bidding you a heartfelt good night. Good night.
并给你道一声由衷的晚安晚安
What's wrong with me. man?
你说我到底有什么问题
Jeez. You really wanna open that can of worms?
老天你真想谈谈你那一团糟的东西
I mean, I'm a good-looking guy. I'm in tiptop physical condition.
我长得这么帅身型又在最佳的状态
You're a dreamboat, but it was Michael Jordan.
你是梦中情人但那人可是迈克尔乔丹啊
Come on, I'd run off with the guy.
好了换作是我也会跟他跑了
Can I tell you a little secret? Then it's not a secret.
告诉你个小秘密说
I guess maybe I am jealous of you and Molly.
我有点嫉妒你和茉莉
I understand. Don't worry about it.
我能理解没事的
I see the way you two look at
我看见你们俩看对方的样子
each other and I just wish I had something like that.
好希望自己也能像你们那样
You'll find that, Carl, I know you will. Well, sleep tight.
你会的卡尔我相信好了睡个好觉
My dad left when I was very young.
我很小的时候父亲就走了
As dads will do. You learn, you grow. Good night, Carl.
正如父亲们做的那样你学习成长了晚安卡尔
And I don't know what I'd do if I lost you as a friend.
没了你这个朋友我都不知道该怎么办了
Is that what you're worried about?
你就担心这个么
You think me dating Molly is gonna change our friendship?
我和茉莉约会会改变我们之间的友谊
It's never gonna happen.
这事没可能的
I appreciate you saying that. From the heart.
很高兴你能那样说无半点虚言
Now, get out of the car. I wanna go have sex with Molly.
赶紧下车我要去和茉莉滚床单
She gave you the green light? Yes, she did.
她给你放行了是的
And you still took the time to talk to me?
你还浪费时间和我聊天
That is so sweet. Get out of the car!
真窝心滚下车
Ahem. Right, right. Get it done.
呃哼好好马上就好
You need a couple of condoms? That crazy sister slipped me some.
你要套套吗那个疯姐们给了我一些
Out, out. I'm going, I'm going.
下去下去我就走我就走
I love you, man. Love you too.
我爱你我也爱你
Intruder!
小偷
My God. Mike.
天啊迈克
I... I know this is bad, but I'd like to point out...
我知道不合时宜但我想说
...I'm wearing the robe you got me for Christmas.
我穿你圣诞节送我的睡衣了
Mike, I'm so sorry. Me too.
迈克真抱歉我也是
I thought the most painful thing I'd have to do to get laid...
我本以为最痛苦事会是上♥床♥
...was sit through that symphony.
结果是坐着看完交响乐
You're gonna be fine.
你会没事的
We just need to get your skull x-rayed.
只要给你脑袋照照X光
Okay.
好吧
Can you talk to your mom? I don't mind the occasional fat joke...
能和你妈妈谈谈吗我不介意这个碰巧的肥胖玩笑
...but I take exception to having my skull caved in.
但是我反对我脑袋从此凹进去
What did I miss?
发生神马了