迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S01E06

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:36 p.m.

...and ripping all the hair out.
一点都不感兴趣
Eighteen months, four days, five hours, sweetie.
18个月 4天零5小时啊亲爱的
I can have that wax heated up lickety-split.
我能很迅速的加热好脱毛用的蜡
And then he can get at it lickety-split.
这样他就能很迅速的得手
Maybe a little off the sides.
可能也不会那么快
But we should probably have a safe word.
但是我们应该有个安全词
Well, I always just scream, "Ouch, my hoo-hah!"
反正我总是说哦太棒了
Right this way.
这边
Why are you walking funny? I pulled a muscle at the gym.
为什么你走路这么搞笑我在运动的时候肌肉拉伤了
Feeling the burn, huh? You have no idea.
感觉很糟糕吧无法想象的痛
Here we are. Chez Mike.
我们到了迈克的小屋
After you, my lady. Thank you, sir.
女士优先谢谢
Humble digs of an honest cop.
朴实小警♥察♥的小蜗居
Very n... Oh. Heh.
非常嗯
Very nice. I love the hardwood floors.
非常棒我爱死实木地板了
Yeah. When I first moved in, it was wall-to-wall shag.
是啊当我第一天搬进来的时候整个房♥间都是一团糟
Took two guys all day to yank that stuff up.
两个男人花了一天才把那些东西立起来
They were tearing and pulling.
他们撕开然后拉起
I get it, I get it, I get it.
我懂了我懂了我懂了
So how long have you lived here?
所以你在这儿住了多长时间
I found this place a few years ago.
几年前我找到了这个地方
It's a funny story. It was actually a crime scene.
这是个有趣的故事这过去是一个犯罪现场
Murder-suicide. Gay couple.
先谋杀后畏罪自杀一对同性♥伴♥侣♥
Been together since the '70s, hence the shag carpeting.
从七十年代♥开♥始在一起所以地毯什么的都很乱七八糟
Anyway, I guess one of the
不管怎么说我猜其中一个人
fellas came home from a seven-day carnival cruise...
从为期七天的嘉年华邮轮游回家的时候
...and found the other one in
发现他的伴侣
flagrante with what was either a man or a woman.
正公然的和另一个男人或者女人在一起
All we found
我们警♥察♥所发现的
was a bloody footprint from a size-16 cha-cha heel.
全部都是一双16码的恰恰鞋留下的血色脚印
I guess that story's more tragic than it is funny.
我觉得这是个不幸的而不是有趣的故事
As murder-suicides tend to be.
就像所有的谋杀后再畏罪自杀的案子一样
Would you like a glass of champagne?
你想要来一杯香槟么
Not right now. Yeah, probably not a good idea.
不是现在嗯不是一个好建议
The bubbles make me a little gassy.
那些小气泡让我变得夸夸其谈
How about we just talk?
我们就只是聊聊天怎么样
Sure. Talking's good.
好啊聊天最好不过了
Oh, I forgot the strawberries. You want a strawberry?
哦我忘了草莓你想来一颗草莓么
No, thank you. You sure?
不谢了你确定
They're the big ones. Size of your fist.
它们都很大的大概和你拳头差不多大吧
Like a bowl of big red baby heads.
就像一个碗里装满了红红的婴儿头
I'm fine for now.
我很好不需要那些草莓
All right, well, let me know if you change your mind.
好吧如果改主意了随时告诉我
Are you nervous at all? I'm a walking pit stain.
你很紧张么我其实挺失败的
Me too.
我也是
It's just been so long since
距离上一次我跟一个男人共处一室
I've been alone with a man in his apartment.
已经过去了好长时间
Well, the last time there was a woman in this apartment...
上一次有女人在这间公♥寓♥
...she was a he, and someone got bludgeoned to death.
还是她和另外一个人被乱棍打死的时候
Not exactly the comfort
我绝对不是故意想聊这个话题
I was looking for, but nice to know.
但是知道这些事情总是比较好的
Molly. Yeah?
茉莉干嘛
Promise me that, no matter what happens tonight...
答应我不管今晚发生什么
...you'll look at my bathtub
你一定要看看我的浴缸
and my shower curtain. They're impeccable.
和我的浴帘它们实在完美无瑕啊
The machine will get it.
机器会自动让对方留言的
Hi. This is Mike.
嗨我是迈克
I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave me a message.
我现在不方便接电♥话♥ 请留下你的语♥音♥信息
Hey, angel face. It's Mommy calling.
嘿天使脸这是你老妈的电♥话♥
Listen, I went to Costco today...
听着我今天去了Costco
...because they were
因为今天
having a sale on those padded toilet seats...
他们的马桶圈纸垫有大减价
...and I remembered how much you admired mine.
并且我记得你是多么喜欢我的马桶圈纸垫
Anyway, I picked one up for you,
不管怎么说我给你带了一包
so now you don't have to worry...
这样你就不用太担心
...about those giant red rings you get around your bottom.
那些你的屁♥股♥上会有巨大的红红的圈了
Hey, Mom. How are you?
嘿妈你最近过得怎么样
No, no. I just walked in the door.
不不我只是走到门边而已
Oh, sorry. I can't. I have company.
哦抱歉恐怕不行我有客人
No, it's not Carl.
不不是Carl
Well, you don't know her.
嗯你不认识她
Yes, I said "Her."
是的我说的是女字旁的 "她"
Look, Mom, can we please talk about this later?
听着妈我们能晚点再讨论这个问题么
I promise, I'll call you back.
我保证我会跟你回电♥话♥的
All right. You too.
好的你也一样
I did say it.
我确实说过了
I love you too.
我也爱你
Everything all right? Yeah, fine.
还好吧嗯挺好的
Now, where were we?
所以我们刚才聊到哪了
I think we were somewhere right...
我认为我们刚刚
Right about here.
在这里
I am so sorry about this.
我对此非常抱歉
Mom, I told you I'd call you tomorr...
妈我跟你说了我会明天跟你打电....
What? Oh, my God.
什么我的天啊
Listen, hang up and dial 911. I'll be right there.
听着挂断电♥话♥然后打911 我马上就到
What happened? She's having chest pains.
怎么了她胸痛
Really? She was fine just a couple of seconds ago.
真的么几秒钟之前她还好好的
What can I tell you? She's old, she's frail.
我该怎么说呢她老了她很虚弱
While we're talking about it, she could be dying.
当我们在这里磨叽的时候她可能死了
Ooh, candles. Oh, right.
哦蜡烛哦对
You call that a check, you pansy-ass Canuck?
这稀烂的防守真是个娘娘腔
If you can't play the game, get off the ice.
如果你不知道怎么比赛就给我从冰上滚出去
Mom, are you okay? Mikey, you shouldn't have come.
妈你还好么迈克你本不该来的
Did you call an ambulance? No. I don't wanna bother anybody.
你叫了救护车么没有我不想打扰任何人
It's not bothering anybody. We need to get you to the hospital.
这不是打扰别人我们要把你送到医院去
What? And pay some quack
什么然后付钱给那些庸医
800 bucks to stick his thumb in my keister?
花800刀让他把拇指伸进我的屁♥股♥里
Thumb? Leave it alone.
拇指别管
Who's that man with you?
那个跟你在一起的男人是谁
Mom, this is Molly. I'm sorry, darling. I'm blind as a bat.
妈这是茉莉不好意思亲爱的我跟蝙蝠差不多瞎
Oh, you are a girl.
哦你确实是个女孩
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Biggs. I'm sorry you're not feeling well.
很高兴见到你 Mrs. Biggs 对于你身体的不适我感到十分遗憾
Thank you, dear. Ah. I see what it was.
谢谢亲爱的啊我知道怎么回事儿了
The shadow from your nose makes it look like you have a mustache.
你鼻子下的阴影让你看起来好像有胡子了一样
Mom, please, you need to see a doctor.
妈拜托了你真的需要去看医生
No, I don't trust doctors.
不我不相信医生
They just wanna saw you open and diddle with your innards.
他们只是想要城门大开然后任意玩弄你
It wouldn't hurt to at least get checked out.
你只是去看看医生不会有什么损失的啦
Oh, I've lived through worse pain than this.
哦我经历过比这个糟糕的疼痛
Mikey came out 14 pounds and sideways.
那就是14磅的迈克出生的时候
I'm lucky I can keep any food inside me.
我十分庆幸我可以让所有的食物不溢出
Can I offer you one of my famous seven-layer cookies?
你想要吃吃我最拿手的七层饼干么
No, thank you.
不了谢谢
Can't we just go in for a few tests, just to be safe?
我们就去做一些最简单的检查吧安全起见
No. No tests. No thumbs.
不不要检查不要拇指
Thumbs? What doctor is she seeing?
拇指她看的到底是什么样的医生啊
I said leave it alone.
我说了别管
Mom, you gotta stop giving that dog beer.
妈你不能再给那条狗喂啤酒了
That's not Jim. Jim's are more bacon-y.
那不是Jim Jim的屁闻起来更加培根
Well, it wasn't me.
不是我
Hey. Mom.
嘿妈
What? Process of elimination.
怎么了排除一下而已啦
But if you're gonna blame the dog...
但是如果你一直抱怨那条狗
...I'll go get my portable oxygen tank and take him for a walk.
那我还是最好拿着我的氧气罐出去溜溜狗了
No, no, you sit. I'll take him. Okay.
不不你坐着我去溜它好吧
Remember not to rush him or squeeze him...
记住不要追着它
...or eyeball him when he's in the middle of one.
或者死盯着他看当它便便的时候
I know the drill, Ma.
我知道怎么训练它妈
I'll be right back. Hurry.
我马上回来快回来
So is this the house Mike grew up in?
所以迈克就是在这里长大的