迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S01E12

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:37 p.m.

You don't deserve a girlfriend.
你就不配有女朋友
Cool. Bomber jacket.
帅啊短夹克
Get away from that. We're here for Molly.
快放下吧我们来这可是为了Molly
Secret pocket. I could put stuff in there.
居然有暗兜我可以把东西放这里面
It's gonna be cheaper after Christmas.
圣诞节之后会更便宜的
Get over here and check some lingerie.
到这来看看这些女士内衣
Nobody likes getting underwear for Christmas.
没人喜欢收到内衣作为圣诞礼物啊
It's like a book or socks.
礼物就应该是书啊或袜子啊
Or a 15-dollar gift card.
或者15美元购物卡
But we're not talking about regular underwear.
我们说的可不是普通的内衣
We're talking satin and lace to rub on your face.
我们说的是有机会摩擦你面部的缎子蕾丝内衣
But isn't lingerie more of a gift for me than for her?
那这个内衣不就成了给我的礼物而不是她的
Oh, like she was ever gonna see any of that cheese and salami.
哦好像她很想要那些奶酪和香肠似的
Now, check this out.
先看看这件
Nothing beats the basic Black Merry Widow that
什么也比不上这款朴实的黑寡妇
buttons at the crotch for easy access.
它的纽扣在胯部很方便进出的
For going to the bathroom, right?
是为了上厕所对不
You really don't deserve a girlfriend.
就说你不配有女朋友
Now, picture her in this.
想象她穿上这个
Maybe add a pair of high-heeled, open-toed shoes to wear with it.
可以再配上一双露脚趾的高跟鞋
Mm, mm, mm.
嗯哼
See, now, this image here, this will haunt me.
知道不就现在这形象会挥之不去的
There you are.
你在这呢
I knew I'd find you sniffing around the ladies' underwear.
我就知道会在女士内衣区找到你
Grandma, I'm still helping Mike look for a present for Molly.
奶奶我是在帮Mike给Molly挑礼物
Michael, you're not taking gift advice from Panty Claus, are you?
Michael 你不想听这位内♥裤♥圣诞老人挑礼物的建议吧
Last good gift he gave a woman was leaving.
他送给女人的最后一份好礼就是离开
I know, Nana, but I'm desperate.
我知道奶奶但是我已经绝望了
It's real simple, sweetie.
其实很简单亲爱的
Just get her something nice that she wouldn't buy for herself.
只要送个她舍不得自己买♥♥的东西就好
How about a gift basket with 10 different-colored nail polishes.
一篮子十种不同颜色的指甲油怎么样
Turn those sweet little toes of hers into a rainbow.
把她那十个可爱的小脚趾变成彩虹
Hush up, Buster Brown.
安静点吧 Buster Brown
Just listen to her when she talks.
只要注意听她的话
You'll be surprised how many little clues she'll give you.
你就能惊讶的发现她给了你很多小线索
Oh, my, look at these.
哦天快看这个
They look comfortable. And so soft too.
他们看起了好舒服也很软呐
Did the knucklehead get the message?
那个傻瓜听明白了吗
I think so, Nana.
我想是的奶奶
Watch your backs and cover your cracks.
注意身后盖住你的羞处
I'm at eye level here.
老娘在众人的注目下离开
So you gonna buy her the slippers? Yeah.
所以你打算给她买♥♥那双拖鞋吗是啊
Looks like you're getting a wig tree.
看来那棵树就得给你了
So this one's for Victoria?
这个是给Victoria的
Yeah.
是
Don't ask me what's in it
别问我里面是什么
and don't bring any police dogs into the house.
也别带任何警犬进屋
Got you. So that's it? You finished all your shopping today?
明白了就这样你今天所有的购物活动结束了吗
Yep. Thank God. It's a madhouse out there.
是的谢天谢地那地方吵极了
At one point, I just got fed up
我一度很厌烦
and ducked into this little coffee shop over on Halsted.
我就躲进了在Halsted的那家小咖啡店
Oh, I know that one. It's next
哦我知道那家
to the pet store with the birds in the window.
它挨着那个橱窗里摆着鸟的宠物店
Maybe. I don't know. But
或许吧我也不清楚但
I do know that the coffee at that place is terrific
我的确觉得那家咖啡店棒极了
because they use a French press, which I also think they sell.
因为他们使用法式压滤壶我想他们肯定也卖♥♥
Cool. Have you ever been in that pet store?
不错那你去过那家宠物店吗
They got cockatoos. I think they're cockatoos.
他们有美冠鹦鹉我觉得他们是
The ones with the feathered Mohawk, right?
样子像带羽毛的莫霍克人一样是不
I'm not sure. I'm not really a bird expert.
不清楚我又不是鸟类专家
Guess I could go look it up on my laptop.
或许应该去我电脑上查查
Ah, wait.
哈等一下
I left it in my car because the strap on my bag broke.
我把它留在车里了因为我背包的带子断了
Yeah. Same thing happened to my gym bag.
的确我的运动包也发生过同样的事
Little duct tape, good as new.
粘点胶带跟新的一样
I don't know. I've had it a long time.
我不知道很久以前的事了
Well, nothing lasts forever.
已经相当破烂了
Well, nothing lasts forever.
没什么是永恒的
Although I've heard those exotic birds can live up to 80 years.
但我听说那种异域的鸟能活到80岁
Mike, please don't buy me a bird.
Mike 你可千万别给我买♥♥只鸟
I don't know what the hell to get you.
我不知道到底该给你买♥♥什么
You're a closed book, lady.
你就像本合着的书姑娘
No, I'm not. I'm an open catalog laying on the nightstand.
不是的我就像张床头柜上敞开的清单
I don't know what that means.
这是什么意思啊
I'm lost. I was in the mall for six hours today.
我都迷糊了我今天在商场转了六个小时
The only thing I bought was a Diet Sprite, a lemon bar
只买♥♥了瓶零度雪碧一块柠檬糕
and a really cool bomber jacket for myself.
还给我自己买♥♥了件很帅的短夹克
Bomber jacket?
短夹克
It's Christmas Eve
平安夜就要到了
and here I am with all the other last-minute losers.
我却和这些最后一秒来买♥♥礼物的废柴在一起
I'm not like you people.
我和你们不一样
Calm down. So what if you slipped up this year?
淡定要是你今年搞错了呢
Oh, I slipped up?
哦是我搞错了
Who let him walk out of here with a bomber jacket?
是谁让他穿着短夹克从这走出去的
What was I gonna do?
我能怎么办
I was helping Grandma get her Rascal down the escalator.
我正帮奶奶把她的电动轮椅从扶梯上运下去
He wandered off and came back
他就走开了再回来的时候
eating a lemon bar and wearing a bomber jacket.
边吃着柠檬糕还穿了件短夹克
It's like going to the mall with a 300-pound toddler.
感觉就像和一个三百磅的幼儿逛商场
I am so screwed, Carl.
我已经晕头转向了 Carl
I... We are exchanging gifts at his mom's house tonight.
我我们今晚要在他妈家里交换礼物
All right. We got time before the stores close.
好吧商店关门前我们还有时间
Let's not complicate the situation.
我们别再把情况复杂化了
Mike is a simple man with simple tastes.
Mike是个单纯且品味质朴的人
Okay, what about a nice cologne?
好吧一瓶好的古龙水行吗
No, smells are lost on him.
不行气味对他失效啊
He gets into the squad car
他常穿着踩了狗屎的鞋
with dog crap on his shoes, doesn't even faze him.
进到警车里这甚至不会干扰到他
One time, he thought we were passing a bakery.
一次他还以为我们正路过面包房♥呢
All right, what about cuff links?
好吧袖口怎么样
Uh, sure. How about a kimono and ballet shoes?
呃可以和服和芭蕾舞鞋也不错啊
I'm under a lot of pressure right now.
我现在已经压力山大了
I could do without the sarcasm.
不用讽刺我也会做到的
Ooh, cashmere scarves.
哦羊毛围巾
Ah, yes. What you get the man with no neck.
啊是啊你给个没脖子的人买♥♥它干啥
Come on, you work with him all day long.
想想办法啊你整天和他一起工作
He must've told you something that he wants.
他一定有和你说过他想要的东西
Uh, well, let's see. Uh,
呃好吧让我想想呃
girlfriend, got one. Bomber jacket, check.
女朋友有一个了短夹克有了
One of those helmets that holds two cans of beer.
一个能装两罐啤酒的头盔
Well, I'm not getting him that. Good, because I already did.
我是不会送他那东西的挺好因为我送过了
Perfect. The man's got everything.
不错他已经什么的不缺了
Well, you know, he likes video games.
知道吗他喜欢电子游戏
Video games?
电子游戏
Go. Move, move, move! Move the baby! Move that baby!
走快快快移走婴儿移走那孩子
Come on, toy store, let's go! This is not a drill!
快点啊去玩具店走啊这可不是闹着玩呢
I hate Christmas.
我讨厌圣诞节
What happened? Did your reindeer finally quit?
怎么了你的驯鹿终于辞职了
Been in every store on Michigan
走遍了密歇根大街的所有商店
Avenue trying to find the gift for Molly...
只想要找一份给Molly的礼物
...and I can't do it.
可我就是办不到
Well, in my village, we have an old proverb:
在我们村子有句谚语
When in doubt, say it with cattle.
当你有疑虑时请对牛倾诉
I can't give her a cow. She doesn't even want a bird.
我不能送她牛她连只鸟都不想要
I keep looking for something that says,
我一直在寻找一些礼物证明
"You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
"遇见你是我一生中最美的邂逅"
So far the closest thing I've
至今我找到最接近的
found is an embroidered sweatshirt
就是件绣花衬衫
that says: "You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
上面写着 "遇见你是我一生中最美的邂逅"
I cannot believe the pressure you Americans
真不敢相信你们美国人