迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S01E23
Part 2
Dec. 15, 2020, 2:39 p.m.
Let's go, Vince. If you're gonna be her stepdaddy...
我们去看看 Vince 如果你想做她继父
...you're gonna have to
你就该
start chiming in with some fatherly advice.
介入这件事给点父亲般的忠告
Jeez, I just wanted a nice, quiet evening...
天 我只想要个美好宁静之夜
...watching a bunch of goombahs blast the crap out of each other.
看着一群黑♥手♥党♥来场械斗
Why did you go to the police?
"为什么去报♥警♥"
Why didn't you come to me first?
"为什么不先来找我"
So who's this guy?
这人又是谁啊
Sweetheart, raising a child is a lot of responsibility.
宝贝儿 养孩子要负很多责任的
There's dressing them and feeding them...
包括让他们吃饱穿暖
And not losing them in Monkeyville.
不能让他们在猴子园走失
I was hammered. Give me a break.
我喝醉了 饶了我吧
I just feel like I've got
我只是觉得我可以
so much to give and nobody to give it to.
付出很多但却不知给谁
You ever think about pole dancing?
你考虑过去跳钢管舞吗
Vince, what's the matter with you?
Vince 你怎么回事
Hey, it's good money, great exercise...
这既赚钱又健身
...and she's bringing happiness
她还能把快乐
to a room full of sad and lonely degenerates.
带给一屋子悲伤孤独的屌♥丝
I think what Vince is trying to say...
我想Vince是想说
...is that maybe this is not a good time for you to have a baby.
现在不是你要孩子的好时机
No, what Vince is trying
不 我想说的是
to say is that you've got a rocking bod...
你有着火♥辣♥的身材
...and you should take advantage of it before you hit 40...
你得充分利用 趁你没到40岁
...and your jugs become wind chimes.
你的丰乳没有松弛之前
Mom, make him stop talking.
妈 让他闭嘴
Vince, get out of here and go watch your movie.
Vince 出去看你的电影吧
Hey, she could push it to 45 if she sleeps in a support bra...
如果她睡觉时穿整形内衣且远离蹦床的话
...and stays off the trampoline. - Out!
上限可以推迟到45岁 出去
Here, take this up to my sister. It'll make her feel better.
给 把这给我妹妹送上去 这也许能让她好受点
Oh, man. Why are you doing this to me?
天 你为什么这么对我啊
You'll be fine.
你能行的
You got a backup if I accidentally eat this on the stairs?
你还有备用的吗 以防我不小心上楼的时候把它吃了
Go.
去吧
Just so you know, if she asks for my sperm,
你要知道 如果她要我的精♥子♥
I'm trading her straight-up for this bad boy.
我会直接和她交换这个坏东西
Oh, hey, I was just bringing a little treat for Victoria.
我拿点吃的给Victoria
Oh, good. I need a drink.
好的 我得喝点酒去
It's funny, I was schnockered when she was conceived...
很有意思 她上次怀孕的的时候我就喝醉了
...and now it's the only
现在这成了我唯一
way I can carry on a conversation with her.
能和她交谈的方法了
Hey, there. Molly made a
Molly给你做的
little treat for you and I didn't eat any of it.
我可一口没吃
That's so sweet of her. Yep.
她可真贴心 是啊
Can I have it?
能给我吗
Oh, right, right.
好的 好的
Ever since I was a little girl...
从小
...if I was feeling sad, she'd make me a hot fudge sundae...
我要是伤心了 她都会给我做熔岩巧克力圣代
...with three Oreos hidden on the bottom.
再在底部藏三块奥利奥
They're still there. You can count them.
他们肯定还在 你可以数数
Want me to leave you alone with that?
想单独享用吗
Maybe turn off the light? That's how I usually do it.
可以把灯关了 我常这么做
Mike, what gives your life meaning?
Mike 是什么赋予你生活意义呢
Oh, boy.
哦 天
There was a time when I would've
曾经在我的更衣柜里
had a glossy photo of that sundae in my locker.
会有一张这样的圣代照片
I'm serious.
我说真的
Well, I know for me, my job gives me a lot of satisfaction.
对我来说 我的工作给了我很大的满足感
Every day, I look forward to putting
每天 我都期待穿上
on the uniform and strapping on the side-arm...
警服带上配枪
...and serving the people that I'm sworn to protect.
为我誓死保护的人♥民♥服务
So helping people makes you happy?
所以帮助别人让你觉得快乐吗
Yeah, and feeling like I'm a part of something important.
是啊 觉得自己是重要事情的组成部分
You know, something bigger than me.
一些比我还重的事
Oh, my God.
哦 天啊
It's all so clear to me now.
我的一切都清晰了
Really? Yes.
真的吗 是的
It's obvious what I have to do. What's that?
我要做的显而易见啊 是什么
I'm gonna join the Army.
我要参军
Molly!
Molly
One hot beef and cheese
一份辣牛肉
sandwich with curly fries and strawberry shake.
带薯条的芝士三明治和草莓奶昔
And one can of tuna.
还有一个金枪鱼罐头
Thank you. While you enjoy that...
谢谢 你先慢用
...I'll get your scratching post and squeaky mouse.
我这就去把你的磨爪器和玩具鼠拿来
I hope he gets fat someday.
真希望他有天也变成胖子
I'm proud of you.
我为你感到骄傲
You've been showing a lot of self-control lately.
你最近展现了良好的自♥制♥力
Yesterday Molly had me take her
昨天Molly让我给她妹妹送
sister a hot fudge sundae and I didn't eat one bite.
熔岩巧克力圣代 我一口都没吃
I had plenty of time alone with it too. She never would've known.
我有充裕的时间独自拿着它 她根本不会知道
They never do. Nobody at the station figured out...
的确如此 警局至今无人知晓
...why the jelly doughnuts
为什么盒子尚未开封
were sucked dry before the box was open.
果冻甜甜圈的内部却被人吸干了
That's just pulling a fire alarm...
这只需拉下火警
...and when no one's looking,
当没人注意时
jamming the straw into the jelly reservoir.
在果冻层插根吸管
Well, it's brilliant. You're like Foodini.
真聪明 你跟食物魔术师一样
Hey, guys. Hey, sweetie. What are you doing here?
嘿 你们好 嘿 亲爱的 你们怎么来了
Well, per your conversation with Victoria...
Victoria通过和你交谈
...she decided to check out the Army Recruiting Office...
决定去征兵办考察一下
...and see if she could be all she could be. - Turns out I can't.
看看她是否能如愿 结果是不能
I had no idea the Army was so strict.
我不知道军队会如此严格
The whole thing is just rules, rules, rules.
全部都是条例 条例 条例
It's no wonder they're always fighting with someone somewhere.
难怪他们总是和某些地方的人发生冲突
I will say, you do make that uniform look very good.
我想你穿制♥服♥肯定会很漂亮
Thank you.
谢谢
Seriously, I've been standing
说真的 自从你一进门
at attention since you walked through the door.
我就开始立正了
At ease, Carl.
稍息 Carl
I just don't know if the United
我不知道美国陆军是否
States Army is ready for Private Victoria Flynn...
做好准备接收列兵Victoria Flynn
...and her two-gun salute.
以及欢迎她的两响礼炮
You see, I'm just not a
我就不是早起的料
morning person and they're all about that.
他们一切都要求起早
I don't even know if my alarm clock has 0500 on it.
我都不知道我的闹钟上面是否有凌晨5点
Yeah, and apparently they still have that "Don't ask,
对 显然他们还有"不许提问
don't show up high" Policy, so...
不许嗑药参训"的规定 所以
I'm disappointed the Army wouldn't take me.
军队不肯要我 我很伤心
I look really hot in camouflage.
我穿迷彩服肯定很迷人
Yes, you do.
是的
But black's really my color.
但是黑色才是我的最爱
Me too.
我也是
You know, nuns wear black and they take anybody.
修女们都穿黑色衣服而且他们接收任何人
Come on, Victoria. You're being silly.
得了 Victoria 你这是在犯傻
Hang on. May I point out...
等等 让我解释下
...that you don't have to
你不必为了和上帝结缘
become a nun to have a relationship with God.
而去做个修女
Carl. Uh...
Carl 呃
Hey, I've found a lot of comfort in my faith...
我就在我的信仰里找到许多慰藉
...without the unrealistic expectation of celibacy.
即使从未有过禁欲这种不切实际的打算
Carl.
Carl
I could not walk this rocky path of life...
我无法在崎岖的人生路上前行
...without the tender guidance of my sweet and powerful savior.
要是没有我那强大救世主的温柔指引
Carl.
Carl
Can I walk on that path with you? Carl.
我能与你同行吗 Carl
Take my hand and we will walk it together.
抓住我的手 我们就会一起走
Oh, God. Oh, dear God.
哦 天 哦 我滴个神啊
Amen.
阿门
Do you know how many games I'm missing right now?
知道我现在错过多少比赛了吗
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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