迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S01E15

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 2:38 p.m.

I ordered two eggs over medium.
我是说我点了两个五成熟的蛋
Not over soft, not over hard, not one of each.
不要太生也不要太熟这俩都不是我要的
Two eggs over medium.
两个半熟的蛋
You think you can handle that?
你觉得你能搞定吗
My apologies.
抱歉
I will bring you two eggs over medium.
我会重新帮你上两个半熟的蛋
Thank you.
谢谢你了
Would you like me to spit on
那你是希望我在厨房♥朝它吐口水呢
them in the kitchen or would you prefer table side?
还是希望我在这儿解决
I wouldn't push it. He's in a mood today.
别火上浇油了他今天心情不好
And now, thanks to him, so am I.
多亏了他现在我也心情很不好
Excuse me while I go lash out at the dishwasher.
抱歉我现在要去骂洗碗工了
For no apparent reason.
没有什么理由
All right, tell me what's wrong. I know it ain't about them eggs.
行了就跟我讲吧发生什么事了我知道不是蛋的错
I just want what I ordered.
我只是想要我点的食物
Please. I've seen you eat
拜托我都见你吃过
a Fudgsicle that you dropped in the sand.
一个掉到沙里的雪糕
You call these plates clean?!
这样的盘子你也敢说干净
I think Molly and I are headed for the skids.
我觉得Molly跟我要玩完了
What? I thought you were doing great.
啊我以为你俩好着呢
I thought so too, but yesterday,
我本来也这么觉得可是昨天
it became clear that I'm more committed to this relationship than she is.
我发现很显然我对这段感情投入的比她多
What makes you think that?
你怎么会这么想
I asked if she wanted...
我问她想不想
...to be buried next to me,
葬在我旁边
she looked at me like I was a crazy person.
她用看着疯子的眼神打量我
Kind of like the way I'm looking at you now?
是像我现在看着你的眼神一样吗
I admit, it's a little cart before the horse,
我承认是有点本末倒置
but her reaction was a real eye-opener.
但是她的反应真是让我大开眼界
If she'd asked me, I wouldn't have flinched.
要是她问我这个问题我都压根不会犹豫
Seems like a twisted way to test a woman's commitment.
这方法来测女人的忠诚度貌似有点扭曲啊
You haven't even bought a couch together yet.
你俩甚至连个沙发都没一起买♥♥过
Why does everybody hate my couch?
怎么每个人都对我的沙发有意见
Besides, that's moot. You and I already made a pact...
再说了那没实际意义咱们俩早就约定了
...to have our ashes
要把我们的骨灰
scattered along the third-base line at Wrigley.
沿着三垒线撒在瑞格利球场里
When did we agree to that?
我们什么时候同意的那事儿
Two years ago. Cubs-Phillies?
两年前芝加哥队对费城队的时候
Quarter beer night?
季度啤酒之夜
You made a turban out of your T-shirt?
你用你的T恤还做了长头巾
People complained?
还被别人埋怨了
I have absolutely no memory of that.
我对那事儿一点记忆都没有
Well, unfortunately, the entire bleacher section does.
可是不幸的是，整个露天看台区的观众们都刻骨铭心
But you do remember our death pact?
但是你还是记得我们的死亡之约的吧
Yeah. If you go first, I clear all sensitive items...
恩要是你先离去在你奶奶进你房♥间之前
...out of your bedroom before Grandma gets to it.
我负责把那里面所有见不得光的东西清理了
Everything questionable, disreputable and inflatable.
任何可疑的毁坏名誉的还有能充气的东西
Don't just erase the memory on my laptop.
不要只把我笔记本里的存档删了
Run over it, go at it with a
碾碎它用焊棒焊死它
welding torch and throw it into Lake Michigan.
然后把它扔到密歇根湖里
You know, you didn't have to come.
其实你不用来的
She's my mom and I can take care of her.
她是我妈我自己可以照顾好她的
Oh, don't be silly. This is part of being a couple.
别傻了这是情侣间该做的
You know, supporting the other
支持对方
person when they're going through something.
在他们需要的时候
Yeah, I appreciate it.
谢谢
People bail when things start to get difficult.
有的人在事情开始难度加大时候就退缩了
But so you know, I'm not that kind of person.
但是你知道的我不是那样的人
Duly noted.
完全明白
Mike Biggs sticks. Like glue.
Mike Biggs像胶水般不离不弃
Through thick or thin.
不管问题大小
I have no doubt about that.
我丝毫不怀疑那点
Even if you got a bad perm...
即使你烫坏了头发
...or had to cut off your own arm in a rock-climbing accident...
或者不得不在攀岩事故的时候砍掉自己的手臂
...I'd be right there by your side, hand in hook.
我也会手拉"铁钩"在你身边陪着你
Uh-huh.
嗯哼
Sweetie, are you feeling okay? Right now I'm fine.
亲爱的你还好吗现在挺好的
But where would you be if
但是要是我在攀岩时事故里失去了
I lost my arm in a rock-climbing accident?
我的手臂你会怎么做呢
Well, I'd be living in a parallel world
我会生活在一个你竟然有能力攀岩的
where you had the ability to climb rocks.
平行时空里
Clearly, you are not ready to have this conversation.
很明显你根本还没准备好开始这个话题
I don't even know what this conversation is.
我压根不知道你这个话题是什么
All right, I laid my burial dress on the bed.
我已经把下葬时穿的衣服放在床上了
Don't bother with the pantyhose or fancy shoes.
连裤♥袜♥和华丽的鞋子就不用麻烦了
The good Lord knows I have a paunch and hammer toes.
上帝知道我有个大肚子和畸形的脚趾头
Mom, quit talking like that. You're gonna be fine.
老妈不要那样讲话你一定会没事的
I put stickers underneath the furniture...
我把贴纸贴在家具下面了
...with the names of the people it goes to if I kick.
要是我死了就按照纸上写着的人名分发
"The usher at the church with the weird ear."
教堂那个有着怪耳朵的领座人
Oh, and here's Jim's eye drops.
哦这是Jim的眼药水
He's got glaucoma in his right peeper. Two drops every six hours.
他右眼得了青光每隔六小时滴两滴眼药水
So I'm taking care of Jim?
呃所以我来照顾Jim吗
Mikey doesn't have a yard,
Mikey家里没有院子
plus he lives above an Asian family.
而且他家楼底下住着一户亚洲人
I know they don't all eat dog, but why bait the hook?
我知道他们不全吃狗肉但是何必设饵冒险呢
Well, I'm more than happy to babysit this little guy.
我很高兴来照顾这个小家伙
You sure? It's a pretty big commitment. Not at all.
你当真这可是个很大的承诺一点问题都没有
We're gonna have fun, aren't we, Jim?
我们会相处的很开心的是吧 Jim
Don't patronize him, it gives him the squirts.
不要太迁就于他他会尿喷的
Feed him twice a day. No chocolate or table scraps.
每天喂两次不要喂他巧克力和残羹冷炙
Oh, and if I should happen to croak,
还有万一我不幸驾鹤西去
for God's sake, don't tell him.
看在老天的份上别告诉他
He'll jump in front of a bus just to be with me in heaven.
它会为了能去天堂陪我而选择撞公交车自杀的
Mrs. Biggs, you're gonna be fine.
Biggs太太你一定不会有事的
But if anything does happen...
要是万一有什么不测
...I promise to give Jim a happy home for the rest of his life.
我承诺一定会为他的下半生打造个安乐窝的
But if you do change your mind about Jim or find a better dog...
要是你反悔了或者找到了更好的狗
...please, call me to come get him, don't put him to sleep.
一定要记得打电♥话♥来叫我接他不要把它安乐死
She wouldn't do that, would she?
她不会那么做的是吧
I couldn't tell you, Mom. I don't even know who she is anymore.
我没法确定老娘我都快不认识她了
I think the old one made the big one crazy.
我觉得那个老的把那胖的逼疯了
Come on.
快来
Come on, come on, come on.
吃呀吃呀吃啊
Come on, Jim. Eat your dinner. Come on.
快吃呀 Jim 吃你的饭呀
Why don't you throw spaghetti on top of it?
要不你放点意面到那狗食上
No, he can't eat table scraps.
不行他不吃剩饭
But dogs love spaghetti.
但是狗狗都喜欢意大利面
Didn't you see Lady and the Tramp?
你难道没看过Lady and The Tramp
Maybe just a little bit of sauce.
要不就试试放点酱汁
All right, Jim. Ho-ho-ho.
来吧 Jim hohoho
We got a special treat for you.
我们给你准备了特别招待
Oh, yum, yum, yum.
哎哟太好吃了
Yum, mm, mm, mm.
恩恩恩好吃
Mm, mm.
恩
He might not be hungry.
他可能还不饿
He's been snacking on his backside for the last hour.
他都把自己屁♥股♥当零食啃了一小时了
Why don't I take him outside and help him work up an appetite?
要不我带他出去走走增强点食欲
Come on, baby. You're going for a walk with Auntie Victoria.
来吧小宝贝你要和Victoria阿姨出去一起散步啦
Have you heard from Mike?
你有听Mike跟你说什么吗
I tried to call him again at the hospital.
我试着给他打电♥话♥
...but he's not answering his phone.
但是他不接
Everything okay between you?
你俩没事吧
I don't know. He's been acting so strange lately.
我不知道他最近行为很怪异
Kind of feels like he's pushing me away.
感觉像是他想把我推开
Maybe he's just freaked out about his mama going under the knife.
可能只是因为他妈要开刀所以他吓坏了
I'm sure that's part of it, but it's gonna
我相信那是原因之一但是想要把她打倒
take more than a gallbladder to bring her down.
光坏一个胆囊可不够
I'm guessing you have to drop a farmhouse on top of her.
我觉着得砸一个农场在她身上才行
Well, whatever he's upset about...
反正不管他烦什么