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"强烈反感"说得太重了
"Intense dislike" is strong.
"收敛"说得太轻了
"Toned down" is light.
有道理
Fair.
而且我会继续收敛
And I'm going to tone it down even more
因为...
because...
...这份反感与其说是针对他
...the intense dislike is less about him
不如说...
and...
...更多的是因为...
...more about how...
你认识他之后就消失了
you disappeared once you met him.
我没有消失 你去上大学了
I didn't disappear. You went to college.
然后又读法学院... -是情感上的
And then law school... -Emotionally.
你在情感上消失了
You disappeared emotionally.
你以前什么事都会告诉我
You used to tell me things.
结果呢 你刚离婚
And what? Then, you're getting a divorce,
加里就立刻趁虚而入 而我...
and Gary swoops in right after, and I...
我连你们怎么认识的都不知道 妈
I don't even know how you met, Mom.
说实话...
Honestly...
...我觉得很羞耻
...I was embarrassed.
因为你当时很脆弱吗
Because you were vulnerable?
因为当时我还没和你父亲离婚
Because I was still married to your father.
我收到你的短♥信♥了
I got your text.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
不怎么好
Not really, no.
但我找不到别人可以倾诉
But there's no one else I can talk to.
我刚刚彻底伤害了朱利安
And I just crushed Julian
感觉这次造成的伤害很难弥补
in a way that feels lasting.
所以我想知道...
So I wanted to know...
说谎什么时候会变得容易些
when does lying get easier?
我觉得对你来说不会变容易
I don't think it will for you.
这是好事
And that's a good thing.
相信我 这绝不是好事
Trust me, it's not.
我们尽快找到老爷子的证据 结束这一切吧
So, let's get evidence on Senior and end this quickly.
好 我同意
Yeah. I agree.
关于...你之前问我的问题
In... in answer to your questions...
棒球不是我父亲教我的
My father didn't teach me about baseball.
在我上幼儿园前一周他就离开了
He took off a week before I started kindergarten,
我告诉同学他去世了
and I told my class that he died.
这比面对真♥相♥好受些
It was less painful than the truth,
真♥相♥是他...
that he...
...知道有我
...knew me
但决定...
and he decided...
.他可能不喜欢我吧
...that he didn't like me, I guess.
至于...
And...
棒球是跟我母亲学的
baseball came from my mother.
她烂醉如泥地泡在酒吧里
Sitting in bars while she got wasted
勾搭男人
trying to pick up men.
其中一个男人给了我一本书
And one of 'em gave me a stats book.
我就坐在卡座里读那本书
And I would read it sitting in the booth,
试图屏蔽周围的一切
trying to block everything else out.
我说这些经历没有改变我
Said none of that changed me,
但是...
but...
...你说得对
...you're right.
它改变了我
It did.
这就是我保护自己的方式
It's how I protected myself.
而我第一个愿意坦诚相待的人
And the first person I chose to be honest with
毫无保留
about everything,
我嫁给了他
I married.
而...
And...
...第一次让我觉得说谎如此艰难...
...the first time that lying was really hard...
...是对你说谎
...was with you.
如果我们继续做朋友
And I will not do that again
我绝不会再欺骗你
if we move forward with our friendship.
因为我真的很珍惜这份友情
Because I really want that.
我不知道自己能否做到
I don't know if I can.
你真的伤害了我 玛蒂
You really hurt me, Matty.
而我必须保护好自己
And I need to protect myself.
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