生活点滴（2015）

Life in Pieces S02E19

Part 2 Oct. 12, 2020, 11:34 a.m.

Look at that. See? We do make a good team.
你看呀我们俩干得不错嘛
We do. maybe we're gonna be great parents after all.
是呀我们会成为好父母的
Well, you know, you did concuss a baby
不过你要知道你还是在看宝宝的过程中
And then try to fix it with a makeover,
磕到了她的脑袋还想用化妆品来掩饰
But i guess everyone's definition of great is different.
虽然每个人对好的定义可能各不相同
I'm gonna go clean our sheets.
不过我还是要去洗床单
And also this baby's diaper
还要给宝宝换尿布
Because didn't catch that on the surveillance.
因为我们没有通过监控看到你们换屎片子
I thought you said you were gonna do that.
你之前好像说过你要换尿布的吧
Well, i'll do it if it's our baby. Yeah.
是我们的宝宝的话我肯定会记得的
Oh, man. Look at this.
我的妈呀你看看
Yeah, i get it, marmaduke's a big boy.
我知道啊大狗马马杜已经长到这么大了
No. No. That-that virtual health care company
不是那个之前我想投资的一家网络保健公♥司♥
I wanted to invest in years ago just went public.
现在已经上市了
if you would have let me invest that money
如果当时你让我用我爸妈给我留的那笔钱投资的话
My parents gave us, we would be rich,
我们现在早就富得流油了
And not in the stupid way that you're supposed to say
我们就不是穷酸地说只要有朋友和健康就够了
With, like, friends and health, but in the good way, with money.
而是有钱有底气地说这个话了
Virtual health care?
什么网络保健公♥司♥啊
I never told you that you couldn't invest in that.
我有说过不让你投资吗
Yes, you did!
你就是说过
Babe, it was the biggest fight we ever had.
我们之间吵得最厉害的一次就是因为这个
It caused my scalp to reject my new hair plugs.
还害得我再也套不进发套里面
Babe, biggest fight we ever had
宝贝我们吵得最厉害的一次
Was how much skill does it take
明明就是我们在争
To become a game show host.
要怎样才能成为一个游戏主播
It is very difficult,
那次是吵得蛮厉害了
But i am talking about a much bigger fight.
但是不是最厉害的一次
We were screaming at each other
我说的是有一次我们俩在一个亚洲混合菜式餐厅的那一次
In the middle of that asian fusion restaurant.
我们吃饭吃一半就直接在饭馆里吵了起来
You left crying.
你还在馆子里就哭了起来
And then the delivery guy had to drive me home
结果送外卖♥♥的小哥还得用他的自行车
On his handlebars.
把我送回去
Oh, was that the place
哦哦哦
With the hamburger egg rolls?
那家饭店是不是有汉堡鸡蛋卷啊
So, you remember the egg rolls...
你连这个都记得
But you don't remember the biggest fight
但你却记不得我们在那里吵架了
In the history of our relationship?
那是我们吵得最凶的一次诶
Oh, my god. I had a sex dream about those egg rolls.
我之所以记得是因为我做过和那里卖♥♥的蛋饼爱爱的春梦
All right, look, i'm just upset because if your mom
拜托我之所以这么难过
Hadn't put the kibosh on my dreams,
是因为你妈要是没有扼杀我的梦想的话
We'd all be wearing,
那我们现在穿的
You know, name-brand sneakers
就不是什么透气运动鞋了
Instead of these air gordons.
而是穿名牌运动鞋了
Don't you have to wear those because of your corns?
你要穿透气运动鞋不是因为你长鸡眼吗
Look, that's not the point.
这不是重点
The point is that i want her to acknowledge
重点是我想要你妈知道
How much money she cost us. You know.
要不是她我们早就发大财了你知道吗
I mean, look, this is the first time i've ever been
就是想证明一下
Proven right in an argument,
我终于有一次说对了
And now your mother just
这倒好
Conveniently forgets about it?
你妈好巧不巧就把这事给忘了
Dad, this space is too small.
爸位置太小了倒不进去
Ah, i never listen to people
什么太大了进不去这种话
Who say i can't fit into things.
我从来都不听的
Well, clementine and i like to handle our arguments
克莱和我会以成年人的方式
Like mature adults.
去处理争执
That's why we only fight naked.
因此我们吵架都是赤身裸体地吵
You should try it.
你也可以试试
Yeah, it helps remind you
因为这样
Of each other's vulnerabilities, and then the fights
可以提醒对方你有多么脆弱
Don't last as long.
这样的话就吵不下去了
It's called let me geni-tell ya.
这叫 "让我裸着告诉你"
No, it's not. It's called nude feud.
不不对这明明叫 "裸战"
Um, i think i know what it's called.
我当然知道这个叫什么
My mom and uncle dad invented it.
我妈和我小爸发明的这个游戏
No, they didn't.
才不是嘞
I came up with it when we got
明明就是我们那次一边洗澡
In that argument in the shower about the pee rules.
一边讨论尿尿的规矩的时候发明的好吗
No, you didn't. Okay, we are settling this right now.
才不是嘞脱衣服我们来把这件事情讲清楚
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
喂喂喂喂
Nobody's getting naked in my car unless it's me.
除了我之外谁都不能在我的车里裸奔
Why should we take advice from you and mom?
别搞笑了你和妈妈就别给人家出主意了
Do you know how traumatizing it is to be a little kid
你知道我小时候受到多大的心灵伤害吗
And go into an asian fusion restaurant,
你知道那次我要去那个亚式混合餐厅
Asking for your dad's hair plugs back?
帮你把假发拿出来给我造成了多大的心理阴影
That was genuine norwegian corpse hair.
那可是真的头发嘞从挪威死人头上扣下来的
I could have replanted that stuff.
本来我都快可以成功植发了的
And wait a minute.
等等
If you remember that,
你连这个都记得的话
That means you remember the argument.
那你肯定记得我和你妈吵架的事了
Oh! You got to tell your mom.
你必须去告诉你妈
Nobody's getting ice cream until you do.
不然你们俩谁也别想让我给你们买♥♥冰淇淋
I didn't even want ice cream.
我根本不想吃冰淇淋好吗
You asked us to come with you
明明是你说一个人去买♥♥太丢脸
Because you were too embarrassed to go alone.
硬要我们陪你来的好吗
That's because i was here this morning.
对啊所以我早上才来过一次
All right, let's go.
走吧买♥♥冰淇淋去喽
And for the record, i fit in the spot.
而且提醒你下我停进来了
Yeah, i'd like to see you pull out.
我倒想看你怎么出去科科
I just want to make sure that everyone has
我只是想要让大家都听到他说什么
The same information, so we can all agree
这样大家都能证明
That for once, i was right.
至少有一次我是对的
Go ahead, tyler.
泰勒快说
So you and dad came home, and you were
你和爸爸回来的时候
Arguing about the investment.
你们再吵关于投资的事
Aha, yes! See?
听见了吧
Now you remember.
现在记起来了吧
Yeah, and then you said that you make the money,
你说是你赚的钱
So you get to make the decisions.
所以你能决定要拿这些钱干什么
Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
啊我想起来哦
That sounds familiar.
这话我怎么听得那么耳熟啊
I said that?
我说的吗
And then you said that mom got to decide
然后你就说妈妈只要负责好
What she packed for my lunch,
她在午餐盒里装什么
And that was enough decision-making for her, so...
她有那个决策权就足够了所以
All right, that'll do, tyler.
好啦够了泰勒
Yeah, this is all coming back to me now.
对我全想起来了
But i didn't even get to the part where
我还没说到
you called her...
你管她叫
Hey, who asked you, anyway?
嘿没人问你
Right?
是不
I'm gonna go get you
我要给你
A diamond bracelet out of my apology drawer.
从我的道歉抽屉里拿一个钻石手链
Wait, so...
等等所以
Now you don't want to talk about it,
现在你不想说这事
Now that i actually remember the fight?
而我想起我们打了一架
Well, there's no need to.
没必要再说
Everybody's memories are sufficiently refreshed,
每个人都差不多想起来了
And apologies accepted.
道歉也被接受了
Hey, i bet we're all starving.
嘿我打赌咱们都饿着
What are you making for...
你准备了啥作为
For what, tim? What am i making for what?
作为啥提姆我为啥准备啥
For reservations for yourself
为你预约...
For the spa for tomorrow. Oh, yeah.
明天的水疗
That is happening.
这你送的免费水疗绝对要
But let's get back to this, about how you
但别跑偏回正题关于你如何
Went out of your way to demean me
狂妄自大贬低我
As a wife, a mother, and a woman.
作为妻子母亲女人的身份
And hey, just so you know, guy,
嘿正如你所知伙计