生活点滴（2015）

Life in Pieces S02E17

Part 2 Oct. 12, 2020, 11:34 a.m.

What if we skipped brunch and then went somewhere
不如我们不去吃早茶了去个其他的地方
where, like, your family maybe... isn't?
比如没有你家人的地方... 咋样
You had a sex dream
你春梦的对象
about someone in my family? N...
是我家里的某个人没...
Tell me it wasn't Matt, Jen, and I swear
告诉我不是马特珍我保证
we will never talk about this ever again,
我们就再也不提这个事了
case closed, end of story.
结案完事
It wasn't Matt.
真不是马特
It was Matt. I know it.
是马特我就知道
Maybe it was me.
没准是我呢
They taught us about this in medical school.
我上医大的时候大家都这么说
Women just love doctors.
女人们就爱医生
So if you're asking me to be less sexy,
如果你让我不这么性感
sorry, I just don't know how.
抱歉我还真做不到
That son of a bitch.
这个表脸的
I mean, if he thinks
如果他以为
he's gonna take something of mine,
他能抢走我的东西
watch, I'm gonna take something of his.
走着瞧我也要从他那搞点事情
Yes. I've been waiting for an affair in this family
好样的我盼着家里出个桃色事件
for a long time.
已经很久了
Wait, what? No.
你说啥不是
No, I am going to make Colleen have a dream about me.
我要让科琳也梦到我
You just watch. I'm gonna get in her head.
你就坐这看看我是怎么撩到她的
Speaking of dreams coming true,
说到梦想成真
remind me to tell you about
记得提醒我和你说说
the sexy thing that just happened to me
我最近在一个小女孩睡衣派对上
at a little girl's sleepover.
遇到的艳福
So, he calls me, my trainer,
所以我教练给我打电♥话♥
and he tells me that I got to take a day off.
跟我说让我请个假
And I said,
我就说了
"Dude, do you even know who you're talking to?"
"亲你知道你跟谁说话呢吗"
Are you... are you talking to me?
你是你是在跟我说话吗
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
对啊我是在和你说话
Out of all the people
这么多人
in this brunch, and I am talking to you.
在早茶聚会上我就挑了你
See anything you like?
有没有受宠若惊
Your shoe's in the lox.
你踩在了鲑鱼上
I knew that.
我知道
Look, Greg, I-I know what you're doing.
听着格雷我知道你是怎么回事
Oh, yeah? What's that?
是吗你说说
Jen's dream wasn't about Matt.
珍梦到的不是马特
It wasn't?
不是啊
So she told you about it?
所以她都跟你说了
Just relax. Sex dreams don't mean anything.
放松春梦没啥大不了的
It's, like, whatever sticks out in your head.
就大脑乱幻想的东西嘛
And what sticks out more than red hair?
碰巧这次幻想到的是一头红发而已
Tyler?
是泰勒
Hey.
嗨
Sup, Taylor?
干啥呢忒勒
Me? Yeah.
我吗是啊
Is Taylor a nickname for Tyler?
忒勒是泰勒的爱称吗
Cause I honestly like that better.
讲真我更喜欢那个哎
You know my name's Tyler, right?
你知道我是叫泰勒吧
Whatever. Doesn't matter.
算了不重要
Hey, remember that time you pooped your pants?
你还记得上次你把便便拉到裤子上吧
Yeah, I was, like, four years old.
记得啊那时候我大概四岁吧
Why would you bring that up?
怎么想起说这个了
No reason. I just think it's important
没事我就是想到
that people remember that you pooped your pants.
应该让大家知道你是个屎拉一裤子的小孩
Didn't you poop your pants in college?
你都上大学了你还拉裤子呢
No.
才没有
I pooped my shorts.
是拉到了短裤上
Dear, I'm sure many people
亲爱的我相信
have had sex dreams about you.
你是很多人春梦的对象的
I think you're very sexy.
我觉得你很性感啊
You have to say that. You're my mom.
你肯定这么说啊你是我妈啊
Hey, Greg. Listen.
嗨格雷听着
Tyler told me you're being mean to him.
泰勒跟我说你欺负他了
Mom!
妈
No, that's because Jen
不是那是因为珍
had a sex dream about Tyler.
做了一个和泰勒一起的春梦
Mom!
妈
For real? See?
真的吗看见没
I told you other people find you attractive.
我就说了大家都觉得你很帅的
You have to say that. You're my wife.
你肯定这么说啊你是我老婆啊
Hey, Jen. Who'd you dream about,
嗨珍你梦到了谁
me or this human stick figure?
是我还是这个粗线条的人
I'm your son.
我是你儿子啊
Uh...
啊...
believe it or not, neither of you.
随便你们信不信你们俩都不是
But thank you, Greg.
不过谢谢你格雷
You know how much I love this.
你知道我有多喜欢这样
Oh, come on, Jen, just tell us all who your dream was about.
得了吧珍直接告诉我们你梦到了谁
Yeah, honey, because Tyler is the only one with red hair,
亲爱的因为泰勒是唯一红头发的人
unless you had a dream about my mom, which...
除非你梦到了我妈那就...
Ah.
额
Oh, God.
天啊
Okay. It was about Cheeto.
好吧是奇多
The puppet? I got to get this hinge fixed, hmm?
木偶吗我修好了这个折叶的不是吗
Happy?
开心了吗
No.
没有
Wh-Why didn't you just tell me?
为什么你不直接告诉我呢
Well, because it was...
好吧因为这...
incredibly sensual. Oh.
难以置信的感觉噢
Not sure where to go with it, you know. No, no, no, no.
不确定该怎么办你明白吧不不不不
It was me, wasn't it? Yep.
是我对吗是的
Be careful, be careful.
小心小心
I'll dial "nine-one" now,
我现在要摁下 "9-1"
and if you need me to, yell, and I'll dial the last "one."
如果你需要我在吗做就大叫出来我就摁最后一个 "1"
John.
约翰
Where were you?
你都到哪里去了
The neighborhood watch meeting was today.
今天有邻里监督会议
I texted you that I couldn't come.
我给你发了短♥信♥说我来不了
I didn't get any text from you.
我没收到你的短♥信♥
Huh?
什么
I accidentally texted Greg.
我不小心发给格雷了
I thought it was weird that you weren't going
你没去让我觉得不可思议
because you were playing laser tag
鉴于你一直玩激光枪战
with your friend Warren.
和你朋友沃伦
You know I haven't played laser tag since I was banned.
你知道我自从被禁止以来就没玩了
Well, I can't keep track of all the things
好吧我不能对一切了若指掌
you've been banned from.
你已经被禁了
How was the meeting?
会议怎么样
I was banned.
我被禁止参加了
Hmm. But before that,
嗯但在那之前
I learned that there's been an increase
我了解到有个强化措施
in neighborhood breakins. Mmhmm.
关于小区防盗的嗯嗯
And so on the way home, I stopped and I got this.
然后回家路上我停留了一会儿拿到了这个
This is a motion sensor light.
这是移♥动♥感应灯
It blinds the intruder and disorients them.
能闪瞎非法闯入者并让他们失去方向
And then you get a very thin wire.
然后你用很细的线
You put it around their neck, and when they go limp,
缠住他们的脖子等他们晕过去
you whisper, "Lights out."
你就小声说 "灯关了"
I thought it just turns on when it senses motion.
我以为这是感应到移♥动♥就会亮
Maybe. I didn't read the box.
也许吧我没读说明
Hmm? John.
怎么了约翰
John, it's on.
约翰它亮了[我性奋了]
Okay. Can we just cuddle for a second?
好吧我们能搂一秒吗
I'm not a machine, you know.
我不是说做就能做的机器啊
No, John.
不约翰