生活点滴（2015）

Life in Pieces S02E07

Part 1 Oct. 12, 2020, 11:31 a.m.

Hey
看呀
I-I got some brochures for... for honeymoon
我这有一些蜜月旅行的宣传册
Okay. Some really interesting places.
都是一些非常有意思的地方
Oh, they're all for Hawaii
这些都是夏威夷的
Oh, you like Hawaii too? That's great
真的吗你也喜欢夏威夷太好了
It's settled. We're gonna go to Hawaii
那就说定了我们就去夏威夷
Just imagine, we can hold hands, and we can go snorkeling, right
想象一下我们可以手牵手去浮潜多好啊
Yeah, wow. Or
也行不过也许
you know where else we can go? Gilroy. Where
我们还可以去其他地方比如吉尔罗伊你说哪里
Gil... Home of the world's largest garlic festival
吉尔啥世界大蒜之都
What's wrong with snorkeling in Hawaii
为什么就不能去夏威夷浮潜呢
Oh, I can't swim, okay
因为我不会游泳啊不行吗
How do you not know how to swim
你怎么可能不会游泳呢
My uncle taught everyone in my family to swim
我叔叔教了家里每个人游泳
But during my first lesson
可我第一次去学的时候
I saw his testicles float out of his swim shorts
我看到他的蛋蛋从泳裤里浮出来
I haven't gotten in the water since
从那之后我再也没下过水
Or eaten figs
也没再吃过无花果
I won't ever eat them again, either
我也再不想吃无花果了
Hey, you're doing great
没错你做的很好
All right, I'm going to let go now. No, no, no, no, no, no
很棒那我现在要松手了别别别松手啊
Don't let go, don't let go! If I go down, you go down with me
千万别松手要是我死了你也得陪葬
That's what marriage is
这才是婚姻啊
Okay, we're in four feet of water
这里水深才一米多
so there's no danger
不会有什么危险的啦
and also, I think it would probably be a pretty good idea
另外我想回家路上
for us to swing by a pre-marital counselor on our way home
应该去一下婚前辅♥导♥
I'm so sorry, I just can't do this
对不起我实在做不来
I will never be able to
永远也做不来
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you already are
很抱歉让你失望了但你成功了啊
I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you.
我抓着你呢抓住了别怕别紧张
Okay
好
Okay, all right, now, just hold on to your noodles
好吧现在专心扶好你的浮棍
and kick your feet
用脚踢水
And just pretend that the water is my face
就当你在狠狠踢在我脸上一样
Is that mask really necessary
你非得戴面罩嘛
I'm taking it off. Okay
我这就摘下来好的
All right. Okay, ooh, ooh
不错好了吧
I'm doing it! I'm kicking
我成功了我正踢水呢
Yay, that's great
耶太棒了
Okay, now, do it above the water
不错那之后就在水面踢水吧
I am doing it above water
我正在水面踢水啊
Okay, well, there's no splashing
可是我没看到水花
and somehow you're not really going anywhere
而且你根本没动
You calling me a liar, Matt? No, no, I believe you
所以你觉得我在说谎咯怎么可能我信你
I believe you, it's just that, uh, mmm
我当然信你不过只是...
You know what? Your methods don't work
你知道吗你方法根本没用
Swimming is dumb. This is dumb
游泳都蠢死了这都蠢死了
Okay, I can hear that you're frustrated
好吧我听得出你很气馁
and I'd really love to see you take some of that frustration
而我想让你把气馁的心情
and just channel it into your kicking
转化为踢水的力量
I am kicking
我正踢水呢
Who even swims anymore
现在谁还游泳呢
We have cars
我们有车啊
You know what, forget this... I'm out of here
算了算了老娘走了
Would you please pull me to the side of the pool
请问你能把我拉到池边吗
so I can storm out? Sure
让我帅气离场当然可以
Slow down
慢点
Okay
这样
We need to take a step back
我们退后一步
All right? I've been pushing you too hard
是我把你逼你太紧
So this is going to be a lesson about the physics of swimming
所以我们这次来上一节游泳的理论课
Oh, yay, I love school
好啊我爱死学校理论了
I'm sorry, I know that this is extreme
对不起我知道这个方法有点极端
but it's the way that my dad taught me
这是我爸教我的方法
and it never fails
从不失手
Colleen
科琳
Oh, jeez
我的天
It's okay, all right, all right, all right
没事的没事没事没事的
Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe
呼气吸气呼气吸气
I'm going to get you a towel, okay
我去给你拿条毛巾
Why would you do that
你怎么可以这样对我
I could've drowned
我可能淹死的啊
I know, I know, I'm sorry
我知道我错了对不起
And I can see now that you're not ready
现在我知道你应该接受不了
for the second part of the lesson
这节课的下半部分了
What was it, pushing me in again
是什么再把我推到水里一次吗
Yes. Oh, my God, Matt
没错天哦马特
Look, I'm telling you how to swim
我教你要怎么游泳
and you just won't listen
你就是听不进去
Well, maybe you could be nicer
也许你可以温柔点慢慢教吧
Maybe you could stop whining
也许你也可以少抱怨几句
You know what
你知道吗
Learning something new can be very stressful
学习新事物时压力很大的
and it's really hard being criticized
而且被一个应该无视你一切缺点
by the person who's supposed to love you
深深爱着你的人批评
and accept all your flaws
就是很不爽嘛
I know, I know, you're right, you're right.
我懂我懂你说得有道理
I'm sorry
对不起
Look, I know you wanted to teach me how to swim
我知道你很努力想教我游泳
but maybe we could have someone else
但也许可以教其他人教
Yeah, great, let's do it
完全同意马上起行
Really? You don't mind
真的吗你不介意哦
Baby, whatever gets us to Hawaii
宝贝只要能让我们去得到夏威夷就好
You already bought the tickets, didn't you
你早就已经买♥♥好机票是吧
Great job, Colleen!
做得很好啊科琳
I'm so proud of you... you know,
我真的以你为傲
you're the only one who hasn't peed in the pool?
你绝对是唯一没尿在池里的人
Okay, everybody.
好啦各位
Start blowing your bubbles again!
再潜进去吹泡泡吧
Whoo-hoo-hoo! I'm swimming!
老娘在游泳啦
Okay, go ahead.
好开始吧
Is the camera running?
在开始录了吗
I don't see the little red light.
我没看到录影的红灯在亮呢
It's a phone, Pop-Pop.
爷爷这台是手♥机♥啊
There's no red light.
不会有红灯在亮的
Oh, right... oh, all right, I'm John Bertram Short.
对对那好吧本人叫约翰·伯特伦·肖特
I'm 70 years old, and I'm applying to be on "Survivor"
芳龄七十而我想申请上"幸存者"的节目
because surviving is my middle name.
因为 "幸存" 正正是在下的名字
Wait, did I already say what my real middle name was?
等等我刚有说话我真正的全名吗
It doesn't matter.
那没差喇
Oh, all right, uh...
那... 好吧
yeah, this is more about looks and, uh, outdoor skills
这比较着重于户外技巧啦
and lighting a fire with your bare hands.
像不靠工具点火
That's your fire cue, Tim.
该到你的火枪大显神威啦提姆
I know, it's got a child lock on it.
火枪上面有儿童锁得花时间解
You can just cut this part out.
你可以把这部分剪掉
Nice work, John! Yeah.
约翰干得漂亮是啊
Tim is my son-in-law.
提姆是我的女婿
He'll tell you how much I love the show.
他会告诉你我有多爱这个节目
Oh, yeah, we're both huge fans.
没错我们都是大粉丝
People always tell me how good I'd be on the show, too.
人们总是说要是我上了节目后会有多棒
You know, surviving and whatnot.
就野外生存之类的东东
No, you don't have what it takes to be on the show.
不你并没有上这节目所需的才能
You need to manipulate people,
你需要懂得操控人心
form an alliance with some dummy,
和些蠢材联合起来
and then stab him in his emaciated back.
再出奇不意在他弱弱的背后插一才
Yeah.
没错
The best players are always finding some way
最厉害的玩家总是能
to outfox someone. Yeah.
以计取胜没错