生活点滴（2015）

Life in Pieces S02E18

Part 4 Oct. 12, 2020, 11:34 a.m.

It requires a little...
这需要一点...
Matt, I've changed my mind.
马特我改变主意了
You have my blessing.
你得到了我的祝福
Oh, thank God. I was getting nervous.
噢谢天谢地我刚还有点担心了
Oh. Uh, what?
嗯什么
I looked at your work and I realized
我看了你的作品并意识到
that the greatest accomplishment you will ever have in your life
你人生中最大的成就就是
is marrying my daughter. Aw!
娶我的女儿噢
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
噢不不
This is not an accurate representation
这不是我艺术视角的
of my artistic vision. No, I-I have a whole portfolio...
精确表现不我有整个作品选集...
Oh, that's okay, I get the gist.
噢不用了我懂了
No, I don't think that you do.
不我觉得你还没有理解
Matt, what are you doing?
马特你在做什么啊
He gave us his blessing.
他给了我们他的祝福
Yeah, I don't want his blessing.
是的但我不想要他的祝福
You should be happily married.
你应该快乐地结婚
No, I'll never love again.
不我不会再爱了
But you will be so happy.
但你会很快乐的
Much like your
就像你的
crudely drawn chicken with teeth.
像你嬰兒般的畫作一樣
Good luck with this guy. Okay.
祝你好运好的
Yay!
耶
Aren't we blessed?
我們簡直是幸福
Sorry I ruined your photo of Laurel and Hardy.
对不起我毁了劳来与哈代的照片
Those were my parents.
他们是我的父母
No way. Lucky.
不可能
Aunt Joan, what if I never find love again?
琼姑妈如果我不再恋爱了会怎么样
I can't be alone forever.
我不能一个人呆一辈子
I just bought a ping-pong table.
我刚买♥♥了乒乓球桌
Now, I promised my sister I'd look after you.
现在我向我的妹妹保证我会照顾你
John and I are here for you.
约翰和我都在这陪你呢
Oh, to make things very clear,
噢把事情再讲明白点
uh, I am not the one related to you.
嗯我和你没有亲缘关系
I can't believe Kelly did this to me.
我无法相信凯莉这样对我
I mean, I stood by her, you know,
我是说你知道的
during the car accident,
在车祸时被狗攻击时变性时
the dog attack, both sex changes.
变性时我都在她身边
The minute she lost ten pounds, she dumped me.
她一瘦10磅就把我甩了
I lose ten pounds when I go to the bathroom.
我去洗手间时我瘦了10磅
I got to go to the bathroom.
我必须得去洗手间
How long is he gonna stay with us?
他要和我们呆多久啊
If there's a suicide in this house,
如果这间屋子有人自杀
it hurts our resale.
这会影响我们的转售
I have the perfect girl for him,
我有个完美的女孩介绍给他
Candace at the coffee shop.
咖啡店里的坎迪斯
She's sweet and she's kind and she's pretty.
她既和蔼又亲切又漂亮
How are her standards?
她的眼光如何
Low!
很低
Huh.
嗯
I just know
我就知道
that Mikey and Candace will be a perfect match.
米奇和坎迪斯将会是天生一对
All I have to do is change his appearance completely
我所需要做的就是完全改造他的外表
and ply them with alcohol.
用酒把他们撮合在一起
I hear wedding bells!
我仿佛听到婚礼的钟声
So what are we doing today with this big teddy bear?
我们打算怎么打理这枚泰迪熊
Just spiff him up so we can meet at the coffee shop
把他打理的漂漂亮亮的等下我们在咖啡馆见
for coffee and coffee cake
以便喝咖啡和吃甜品时
that we can chew with our mouths closed.
別在咖啡廳吃得狼吞虎嚥
I wish I was coffee cake.
真希望我就是块儿甜点
You look like you could pick me up without grunting.
估计你一声不哼就把我直接吞了
One of the discs in my back's leaking fluid.
我后背的刹车盘正漏着油
Honey, I'm leaking things from everywhere.
亲我到处都漏油了
Oh. Well, I'm glad I'm wearing a smock.
庆幸我穿着罩衣
Wow, so he can really cook a whole pig?
哇哦他真的能烹制一整只猪
Yes. Yes, and-and he can do other things, too.
是是他还擅长做其他事
I can't think of them at the moment,
我一时想不起来
but, uh, he...
但是嗯他
can cook a whole pig.
能烹制一整只猪
I'm gonna go check and make sure that my eyebrows still match.
我先去看看我的眉妆残没残
Oh, it's okay. He-he would probably like that they don't.
好着呢他可能会喜欢妆残的样子
Uh, Aunt Joan.
琼姨
Uh, I'm a new man.
我现在是新男人
My new man.
我的新男人
Uh, Gittel's gonna join us for coffee if that's all right.
如果可以的话吉塔和咱们一起喝咖啡
No.
不
I'd like to order one... pound.
我要点一... 磅
No.
不
Oh! Mm, I actually have to run.
我真得走了
My nephew's bar mitzvah is tonight.
我今晚要參加侄子的成人禮
Unless you want to join me.
要不要和我一起去
The theme is "Joshua Rocks,"
主题是"约书亚岩石"
and there's a guitar cake.
还有吉他蛋糕
That's my favorite kind of cake.
那是我的最爱
Aunt Joan, do you mind if I go rage
琼姨如果我在那情绪失控你介不介意
at the bar mitzvah?
在受戒礼礼上
Fine.
好
Yeah?
啥
Fine. Come on.
好来
Go.
走
Is he here? I just broke up with my boyfriend.
他来了没我刚和我男友分手
Didn't I tell you?
我难道没告诉你
He-he couldn't come.
他来不了
Maybe I should stay over tonight.
我觉得我应该在这过夜
Does this pull out?
这个能不能铺开
Uh, it does if I time it right.
如果我时间把握的合适就可以的
We should go.
我们该离开
I think us watching is part of it. Yeah.
我想我们在这他们更来劲对
Oh.
噢
Who knew the most annoying person in my life
真想不到我这辈子最头大的人
would fall for the most annoying person in my family?
原来就是我家里这个最让人头大的人
They're doing things down there, Joanie.
琼他们在那开工啦
Now I see why your sister
现在我明白了为什么你姐姐
wrapped her couch in plastic.
把她的沙发套上塑料
Please.
别说了
You having fun?
玩的愉快吧
No, we're not having anything.
我们一点都不愉快
I can't sleep with her, because I can't show her
我不能和她睡因为我不能給她看
my downstairs nose.
我的下面
What, you got a stub?
为啥你那难道断了
All right, let's see it.
好吧让我看看
No. No, no, I...
没不不是我...
I told her I was Jewish.
我之前告诉她我是犹太人
Why?
为什么
Because that's a deal breaker for her.
因为不是犹太人就不能和她交往
But the second she sees that I'm not circumcised,
等一下她看到我没有切包皮
the only thing broken is gonna be my heart!
唯一会碎掉的就是我的心
And that.
还有那个
I'm sorry.
对不起
You have that backed up on the cloud, right?
你网盘上有备份对吧
Mikey, you can't be in a relationship built on a lie.
米奇你不能把感情建立在谎言之上
You know what, you're right.
你知道不你说的对
I got to go back and talk to her. Yeah.
我回去和她谈谈好
I mean, what we have is stronger than
我是说我们之间的感情比
any skin covering my penis.
我阴♥茎♥上的包皮强大
Why don't you go say that wonderful line to her?
快去把这些精彩的言论对她说
She dumped me!
她甩了我
Damn it!
该死
I know a barista who will take your penis as is.
我认识一个不需要你割包皮的咖啡师
No, forget it.
算了