闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E09

Part 6 April 6, 2021, 9:56 a.m.

- I have got to go. - Oh, I'll go with you.
不我今晚和威尔有约记得吗
No, no, no, I have my--my date with Will tonight, remember?
-那位性感小帅哥 -约会
- Oh, the hot fetus. - Date?
我还...我还以为这就是...
I thought-- I thought this was a--
我们聊得很开心
This has been so swell.
-谢谢 -聊得很开心
- Thank you. - Yes, it's been swell.
-晚些再见 -真的很开心
- I will see you later. - Real swell.
不不乔你留下
Well, no, no, Jo, you stay.
-之后我开车送你回家 -不用
- I'll drive you home later. - No, it's okay.
她可以把她的"滴答打车"号♥给我
She--she can give me her-- her Uzi account.
是"滴滴打车" 你可以自己注册一个
Uber, and you could get your own account at this point.
-你又不是付不起 -好吧好吧
- You could afford it. - Okay, okay.
-晚些再见 -拜拜
- I'll see you later. - Bye.
很高兴见到你
Nice to see you.
我没法待太久
I can't really stay that long
因为我把小孩留在帕拉迪索的儿童乐园
'cause I dropped the kids off at the Kids' Club at the Paradiso,
莉莉看上去要在我睡着时把我杀了
and Lilly looked like she was gonna murder me in my sleep.
对不起但是多谢你能出来...
I'm--I'm sorry. Thanks for coming out...
-陪我兄弟 -不不
- to meet me, man. - No, no.
我就是想暂时彻底忘记这些事
I just need to get my mind off of that--
真不敢相信福特居然喜欢酒店的泳池酒吧
I can't believe Ford is liking the pool bar at the hotel.
太令人震惊了 "帅哥们我来啦"
It's so desperate. "Here I am, hotties."
好了我们还是别...
Okay, maybe let's not,
-监视微博动态了 -行我错了
- um, tweet stalk anymore. - Right, I'm sorry. Sorry.
就坐在这
Just be here.
什么都不想
No more obsessing.
我去不不行
What? No. No.
咋了
What?
我不是来给你当僚机的
You--I'm not here to be your wingman.
-好吧淡定 -不
- Okay, wow. Just-- - No.
-淡定淡定 -拜托
- Rela--dude, relax. - Come on.
我可是艾比的弟弟
Abby's brother.
兄弟你知道吗
Wow. Dude, you know what?
我还没对贝卡的事彻底忘怀
The Becca thing is still in my head.
我只是...
I'm just--
你后面坐了个长得像《真爱如血》男主
there's a True Blood, like, Skarsgard look-alike
斯卡斯加德的人拜托别回头看
at the end of-- Don't look over there, please.
我想说他一直用勾人的眼神盯着你看
I'm just saying he's eye-banging you pretty hard,
我通常不这么说但他确实是个帅哥
and I don't swing that way, but he's a handsome devil,
如果你想要去勾搭那就去吧
and if you wanted that hall pass, there it is.
我知道为啥斯卡斯加德盯着我看了
Oh, I know why Skarsgard's staring at me.
他在盖蒂博物馆工作
He works at the Getty.
福特曾经向我介绍过他
Ford introduced me to him once.
我过去打声招呼
I'll go say a quick hi,
然后我们回头就会在急诊室见
and then I'll come meet you at the E.R.
快去吧
Come on.
好久不见
Long time.
我本来想打电♥话♥给你的但是我孩子
I meant to call, but with the kids...
抱歉我听不清你说什么
I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
满脑子想的都是亲吻你
I just keep thinking about kissing you.
你晒得好黑
You're so tan.
刚从巴基斯坦回来
Just got back from Pakistan.
又去挑战乔戈里峰了
I was trying K2 again.
你是指就像珠穆朗玛峰吗
You mean, like--like, Everest?
和乔戈里峰比起来那简直小菜一碟
Oh, no, Everest was easier compared with K2.
我还得再重新挑战一次
I had to-- I had to turn back again.
天哪就连你的失败也好性感
Oh, my God, your failures are so sexy.
嘘家里有人
Shh, houseguests.
抱歉抱歉
Oh, sorry, sorry.
上一次
You know, last time...
我提出要给你做饭吃
that I offered to cook for you,
你跑得快得就像我要在你头发上点火一样
you ran like I offered to light your hair on fire.
那我要是再试一次会怎么样
So what happens if I try again?
要看你准备做什么了
It depends on what you're cooking.
随你说我喜欢挑战
Name it. I love a challenge.
菜肉馅煎蛋饼
Frittata.
对
Yes.
做吧
Do it.
就这样吗
Just like that?
等等等等
Hang on a second. Wait.
你是在邀请我过夜吗艾比·麦卡锡
Are you asking me to sleep over, Abby McCarthy?
那可真是进展神速啊
That's, uh-- that's a big step.
没错
Yes, I am.
我正在写的文章...
You know, this article that I'm working on--
我知道十场约会
Yes, yes, the, uh, ten dates.
等等
Hang on a sec.
我能在这不会是因为你欲求未满吧
I'm not just here because you have blue bean, am I?
欲求未满我才没
Blue bean, I don't--
太可怕了
That's horrible.
天哪
Oh, my God.
当然不是
No.
-不是吗 -不是
- No? - No.
是因为我遇到过许多男人
It's because I met a lot of guys,
但没有一个人像你一样
and none of them were you.
你终于说出口了
Finally.
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
听到了
Yeah.
你是乖乖女吗
Are you a good girl?
我的天哪乔
Jesus Christ, Jo!
我知道我知道
Oh, oh, I know. I know.
-我只是... -这沙发不错
- I just-- - It's a great couch.
他...他还没有射呢
Oh, he didn't, uh-- he didn't even come yet.
沙发上保证没有沾到一点体液
We didn't get any jizz or anything like that on it.
-你真性感 -你听到你自己的话了吗
- Oh, wow. You are hot. - Do you hear yourself?
你说话都不过脑子了
You're actually using your outside voice.
真是太可怕了
This is awful.
要是佐伊被吵醒看到这个场景了怎么办
What if Zooey had walked in and seen this?
即便是你也够糟糕的
This is awful even for you.
佐伊睡得很死什么即便是我
Zooey's fast asleep, but-- even for me?
-我想我也许该... -你什么意思
- I think I should probably-- - What do you mean?
现在可不是1992年乔
This is not 1992, Jo.
你不能就这么带个人回家
You can't just bring some dude home
在我们沙发上乱搞在我的沙发上
and screw him on our couch-- on my couch.
我是该去佐伊睡着的客房♥搞吗
Should I have gone to the guesthouse with Zooey there?
那可真是... 拜托
That would have been-- Hello?
你这还是为孩子着想了是吗
Oh, was that a parenting decision?
这整一周我这还是头一回看到你为孩子着想
That's the first parenting I've seen you do all week.
你完全失控了
You are out of control.
一点边界都没有
You have no boundaries.
你就这么强行住进来
You have just come steamrolling into this house
就跟这房♥子是你的似得而你女儿...
like you own this place, and your daughter-
我女儿是个好女孩
My daughter is a wonderful girl.
-你女儿 -你敢说她坏话试试
- Your daughter - Don't you say one goddamn thing about her.
-再好不过了 -没错
- is wonderful. - Yes.
而她表现得就跟她是你的保姆似得
And she acts like she is your nanny.
她是我的命好吗
She's my life, okay?
她是我的命而我跟你女儿待了五秒钟
She's my life, and I spent five seconds
就知道她是个毛丫头
with your girl, and I got that she's a brat.
她是个毛丫头她就是个毛丫头
She is a brat! She's a brat.
她就是个刻薄的毛丫头
She's a little mean girl.
是因为她还小
because she is a teenager,
她就应该是个毛丫头
and she is supposed to be a brat.
你女儿的一举一动就跟40岁的老女人一样
Your daughter behaves like she is a 40-year-old woman.
这么招吧
How about this?
你不许再说我孩子半句
You say nothing about my kid again, ever, ever.
你也不许对我的人生指手画脚好吗
You say nothing about my life, okay?
因为我们都知道你专门给些狗屁建议
'Cause we all know you give some shity advice.
好啊
Oh, okay.
你给的净是狗屁建议
You give shity advice.
想听我的狗屁建议是吗
You want some shity advice?
滚出我的房♥子