闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E06

Part 2 April 6, 2021, 9:55 a.m.

Or I could just slit my wrists
然后写写失血至死的感受吧
and write about what it feels like to bleed out.
就是这个意思
Exactly.
写这种书一定能大卖♥♥
It's what makes your books so great.
你的生活正在发生巨变
I mean, you take on changes in life,
你本身又很幽默爱自嘲
and you're so witty and self-deprecating.
没错可这是离婚既痛苦又悲伤
Yes, but this is divorce. This is painful and sad.
肯定没人想看
And no one wants to read about it.
不一定大家就喜欢看黑暗的东西
I don't know. People like dark.
克里奥·史蒂文森就够黑暗的
Cleo Stevens is pretty dark,
她不就挺好的么
and it's working for her.
我们现在在公园里玩尼奥说她饿了
So we are rocking the park when Neo says she's hungry.
于是我就从我的高档尿布包里
I just reach into my designer diaper bag
拿出亲手制♥作♥的婴儿有机食物
and pull out some homemade organic baby food.
我当我是谁呀艾比·麦卡锡吗
Yeah, right. Who am I, Abby McCarthy?
不是吧我忘记带婴儿食物了
Hell, no. I forgot the frickin' baby food.
不过我可没忘带我的美味土耳其三明治
But I didn't forget my delicious turkey sub.
当妈干嘛非要那么辛苦呢
"Momhood" does not have to be that hard.
看我给你变出来点婴儿食物
Watch me make baby food.
"已被咀嚼的"的缩写
嚼后土耳其三明治
ABC turkey.
第一米西把我的点子给否了
Okay, first of all, Missy trashed my book idea
她让我写离婚的话题
and told me I should write about divorce.
-为时过早 -我也是这么说的
- Too soon. - This is what I'm saying.
然后我就又看了克里奥·史蒂文森的一个视频
Then I watch another Cleo Stevens clip.
-你能不能别看了 -我知道我知道
- Please stop doing that. - I know, I know, I know.
我就是犯贱
I'm torturing myself.
也许我应该出门玩玩你要去赌城吗
Maybe I should get out of town. Are you going to Vegas?
-你要去赌城吗 -菲比正在准备
- Vegas? Are you? - You know Phoebe--
去拍摄她的母婴写♥真♥
she's doing the whole baby-style event,
我们不一定非跟她一起对吧
which we can avoid, right?
那倒是这么说你们...
Yeah. So--so you guys are--
我真的需要一个人静一静
I really need to not be alone,
而且你真的可以借此机会玩玩
and you could really use the distraction.
虽然迪莉娅也要去你别在意她就好
And just don't let the fact that Delia's coming bother you.
好吧那倒没什么
Yeah, I, um-- I wouldn't let that stop me.
那说好了你去我也去啊
Perfect. I'm in if you're in.
老天
Dear Lord.
你们这是准备要玩到什么程度
How high are you guys planning on getting?
对瘾君子来说大♥麻♥药房♥就像百货店一样
I know. Pot dispensaries are like Target for stoners.
不买♥♥够200块的东西根本出不来
You cannot leave without spending less than $200.
这里的金鱼和棒棒糖都是用大♥麻♥制品
我要好好地享受下这个棒棒糖
Oh, I am going lollipop. Slow and steady.
我现在不用大♥麻♥ 所以金鱼免谈了
Pot Goldfish are not on my cleanse.
而且这个周末我也不会参加什么派对
And anyway, I'm not going to party this weekend.
我只想泡个温泉在水池边静静地享受一番
I'm just gonna do some SPA time, chill by the pool
一边看着电子书来一趟宁静的赌城之行
with my Kindle, mellow Vegas...
然后等着创作灵感的到来
wait for a book idea to bubble up.
都"赌城"了还"宁静" 矛盾修饰法吗
"Mellow" and "Vegas"-- that sounds like an oxymoron.
-听起来不错 -没错我就是这么计划的
- Fun. - Yeah, that's my plan.
万一有什么状况比如最后...
In case it's, like, right on the end...
你懂我说什么吗
You know what I'm talking about?
-等等 -美女们你们好啊
- Wait. - Hello, ladies.
-你好 -莱拉你怎么在这儿
- Hi. - Lyla, what are you doing here?
艾比告诉我的呀
Well, Abby mentioned it.
出自儿童故事《最后一个下水的是臭蛋》
最后一个上车的是臭蛋哦
Last one in the car is a rotten friend.
天呐
Oh, my God.
天呐
Oh, my God.
你要是不想叫她就该早点告诉我
You should have told me you weren't inviting her.
我知道
I know I should have.
只是我最近跟她关系搞得很僵
It's just everything has been so difficult with her recently.
我还要赶着拍照
And with the photo shoot,
不想在这时候跟她闹翻
a fight is the last thing I needed.
-她还讨厌我 -没错
- And she hates me. - Yeah.
她是讨厌你对不起
She does, I'm sorry.
但是她现在正为了孩子的抚养权打持久战
But look, she's going through a hideous custody battle.
-我知道 -那个办案员的报告
- I know. - She's on pins and needles
让她非常烦躁不安
about the caseworker's report.
我是说也许她正需要这趟旅行
I mean, maybe this trip is exactly what she needs.
我看也许她需要的是棒棒糖
Or maybe this trip is exactly what she needs.
-好吧 -有道理
- No. - Oh, yes.
有道理
Oh, yes.
真有道理这是金鱼吗
Oh, yes, it is, goldfish ?
瑜伽呼吸法的一种
狮子式呼吸法大家都来吸气
Lion's breath. Everyone, breathe in.
然后
And...
现在你们可能觉得有点不自在
Now, the breath can be a bit odd,
因为你嘴里的烂牙都给露出来了
you know, showing off all your bad dental work.
不过也许只有英国人才会这样
Maybe that's just if you're English.
所以我们才来这儿的对吧
And that's why we're here, yeah?
突破一切阻碍让我们直面真理
Break through the inhibitions. Let the truth come forward.
但是你们要先问问自己是否已经准备好
But are we prepared for our journey
用南美一种藤本植物的根泡制而成的致幻饮料
借助死藤水来面对真正的自我
to self-revelation through ayahuasca.
我搜过这玩意儿有人说
I totally Googled it, and there's conflicting reports
它可能会至死啊
about the possibilities of, um, you know, death.
当然了这是古老的纯天然草本植物
Of course. It's a completely natural herb,
能帮你打开心扉呢
ancient, opens your heart.
但是我这人容易过敏
I-I'm just prone to allergies,
所以我想再确认一下你懂心肺复苏术吗
so I'm just making sure. Do you know CPR?
当然了别担心
Absolutely. Don't be worried.
你就别担心了很安全的
Taken correctly, it's completely safe.
-好吧 -要做好百分之百的准备
- Great. - Now, to be fully prepared,
我们必须进行斋戒明白吗
we must fast, yeah?
不好意思你说的是准备旅行
I'm sorry. What--prepared to trip?
还是准备旅行聚会
Prepared to trip balls?
我保证不会有事的
It's gonna be totally fine. I promise.
我只是想分清楚
I'm just--the distinction.
我就问问只是问一下
I'm just asking. I'm just asking.
-你有问题吗 -没有了
- Are we good? - Yeah.
好那你加入还是退出
Yeah, you checked in or checked out?
加入瞧瞧这张小脸
In. I mean, look at this face.
我加入
I'm checked in.
那就好现在在服用之前
Great. Now, okay, before we are imbibing,
我们要净化身体净化心灵
we need to cleanse the body, cleanse the mind,
用12小时的斋戒
12 hours of fasting
来清净身体
to purify the body,
荡涤灵魂
purify the spirit.
呕吐不止的时候
You'll be so thankful for an empty belly
你们就会庆幸是空腹了
once the vomiting starts.
我好兴奋
I'm so high.
-我的脸... -欧...
- My cheeks are-- - Ohm.
就像好像用针戳破鼓膜一样
It's like pins and needle dome.
姑娘们你们能安静点吗
Guys, can you just keep it down a little bit?
我头都痛了
I have a horrible headache.
那是因为你在车里看书
'Cause you're reading in the car.
你在车里看书
You're reading in the car.
但我想如果你也喊"欧"的话
But here--you know, I think if you annunciated "Ohm,"
痛感会减轻的
it could alleviate...
欧
Ohm.
欧
No.
莱拉莱拉噜噜噜
Lyla, Lyla, loo-loo,
莱拉莱拉我爱你
Lyla. Lyla, I love you.
我爱你的小脸蛋
I love your little face.
我也爱你不过抚养权的事
I love you too, but the whole custody thing is--
真快把我逼疯了
it is driving me nuts.
莱拉我们会转移你的注意力的
Lyla, we are totally going to distract you.
拉斯维加斯最棒啦
Vegas is the best.
艾比小鱼饼干能游到你嘴里吗
You want a little fishy in your mouth, Abby?
看小鱼饼干游进你嘴里
Look at the little fishy come into your mouth?
-艾比 -它想在你嘴里
- Abby. - It wants to have a little home
-安个家 -小鱼饼干
- in your mouth. - Fishy.