闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E09

Part 4 April 6, 2021, 9:56 a.m.

我要去见一个陌陌上认识的人和他喝一杯
I'm just meeting a Tinder guy for drinks.
你看起来真美
Well, you look great.
我不是真要约会
Well, I'm not seriously dating.
威尔
Hi, Will.
是不是那天车♥库♥里那家伙车♥库♥男
Is that the guy from the garage? Garage guy?
没有你能打来我很高兴
No, no, I'm super happy that you called.
-这还不是真约会啊 -我能问你个问题吗
- Oh, yeah, not serious at all. - Can I ask you a question?
-我是想问你可不可以... -你弟弟呢
- I was wondering if, um... - Where's your brother?
我们得走了
We got to go.
-我去找他 -查理
- I'll get him. - Charlie?
乔约会第一发什么也没发生
你是艾比吧
You must be Abby.
史蒂夫对吗
Steve.
你看起来可比照片上漂亮多了
Your picture did not do you justice.
谢谢
Thank you.
要么是你穿得太随便
Um, either you are very under
要么我穿得太正式了
or I am very overdressed for this place.
是啊我刚才还在想
Yeah, well, I was thinking,
你是想要一次循规蹈矩的无聊约会呢
do you want a regular, boring date
还是想来点刺♥激♥的
or an adventure date?
这个嘛
Oh, uh, well...
于是我大喊着"不要不要" 然后他推了我
So I'm going, "No, no, no," and he pushed me.
简直吓死我了
Disaster one down.
不也没有那么惨
No, it wasn't really a disaster.
还挺刺♥激♥的完全出乎意料
It was--it was great and unexpected,
你想啊我可是从飞机上跳下去的
and, you know, I jumped out of a flippin' plane, right?
别告诉我你看上这位特技演员史蒂夫了
Oh, don't tell me that Stuntman Steve is a keeper.
-你不会还要见他吧 -当然不了
- You'd actually see him again? - Oh, my God, no.
你知道吗他说他身上唯一没骨折的地方
Do you know that he told me that the only bone in his body
就是他的老二
he hasn't broken was his penis?
经过了这次我倒是还想再跳几回
Yeah, it just made me realize that I need to take more leaps.
比喻而已
Metaphoric--
只是比喻而已
Phoric you! Phoric you.
我来这里根本是找罪受
Oh, why am I doing this?
这都2015年了小朋友
Hey, it's 2015, doll.
现在男人都希望女人的那里也打扮起来
Men expect a lady to be groomed down there.
你是说变秃吧真恶心
You mean bald. It's creepy.
才不是变秃
No, not bald.
不要全秃
Not bald.
这和你刮眉毛不是一样吗
Anyway, it's no different than having your eyebrows waxed.
一样个屁我的阴毛又不长在脸上
Yeah, if my bush was on my face.
哎呀行了行了
Okay, come on, come on.
迪莉娅我等下还能走路吗
Am I gonna be able to walk later, Delia?
我今天的约会可多着呢
Because I have so many dates today.
至少有七个
I have seven at least.
怎么可能
How is that even possible?
上午三个
I have three in the morning.
下午两个
I have two this afternoon.
晚上还有两个
Then I have a couple tonight--
疼死了
Night, no! No!
该死的对不起
Shit, shit. Sorry.
真对不起
I'm so sorry.
你没事吧
Hey. You okay?
天哪
Ow. Oh, oh, my God.
真对不起我♥干♥不了
I'm so sorry. I can't do this.
我实在干不了了
I can't do this.
我后背现在疼得要死
My back is totally tweaking right now.
可是你之前说好的工作四个小时
Yeah, well, you signed up for a four-hour shift.
实在不好意思如果我现在不去冰敷一下
I'm sorry, but if I do not get ice on my back,
我的后背就要报废了
it's gonna totally seize up.
如果你现在不干那谁把蔬菜搬上卡车
The thing is, if you bail now, crops don't get in the truck,
蔬菜上不了卡车就送不出去然后
the truck doesn't deliver the crops, and so on.
-你懂吧 -我知道
- You understand. - I get it.
不如我付你钱吧我车里有钱
How about money? I've got money in my car.
这些蔬菜我都买♥♥了
I will pay for the crops and--
我不需要钱
I don't need--
菲比
Phoebe...
我需要的是把蔬菜搬上卡车
I need the crops in the truck.
好吧
Okay.
我明白了
I get it.
那我下次多干点补上这次的行不行
How about I make it up to you next time?
这么说吧
Tell you what, um...
这些你没搬完的白菜你给我200块就成
I'll take $200 for the cabbages that you won't load
以后你就不用来了
if you promise not to come back.
谢谢你来帮忙
I appreciate your effort,
可我真心觉得你不是干这个的料
but I don't think you're cut out for this.
你为得到自己所想而需求的
What--what you need to get what you want
对我来说就是你为自己所需而想要的
is for me to also want what you need.
不对等等你说什么啊
No. Wait. What?
我是说唯一能帮我们摆脱现状的方法
I mean that the only way out of our situation
就是让我自己变得开放些
is if I'm at least open
-去接受约炮 -没错
- to the casual encounters... - Yes.
就像以前那样
Like back in the old days.
没错而且我希望你能真正行动起来
Yes, and I would hope that you would act on it,
因为我爱你
because I love you.
什么
What?
我男人想让我上别人是因为他爱我
So my man wants me to screw other men because he loves me.
因为我希望我们还能有以前那种激♥情♥
Because I-I need that excitement back, you know,
这都是为我们彼此
for both of us.
而且我永远不会离开你
And I would never, ever leave you.
好吧
Okay.
-你真答应了吗 -但得有规矩
- Really? - But rules.
不能是熟人不能有第二次
At least three degrees of separation and no repeats.
好那要不要事先告知对方呢
Good, good, and do we want to know before or no?
当然了要不然每次
Yes, yes, otherwise, every time
你加班或者我堵车
that you were working late or I was stuck in traffic,
我们就会觉得
we'd think the...
好有意愿要提前告知
So, yes, advance notice of intent.
那可说好了
Deal.
行吗
Deal?
成交
Deal.
那现在开始找人约炮吧
Let the screwing begin.
往前跳
And forward jump.
站起来的时候吸气
Inhale as you come to the top.
是啊其实很多人都不知道
Yeah, a lot of people don't realize
白鼬现在已经被驯化了
ferrets have actually been domesticated...
所以我正把种子和坚果类食物加到食谱中
So I'm incorporating seeds and nuts into my food plan now,
这可是我迈出的一大步啊
which is a big step for me.
别担心我的雪貂都是调♥教♥好了的
Don't worry. All my ferrets are house trained.
全都调♥教♥好了吗
All of them?
但是但是我还是觉得很胖
But I-- I do feel fat.
其实我不胖的对吧
I don't look fat, do I?
没想到吧
Surprise.
这不是相亲吗[盲目约会]
Because it's a blind date. Get it?
但的确还是个体力活四个孩子呢
It's a lot, though, you know-- work, four kids.
他们都一起出来玩...
I mean, they're all on travel teams and--
你们要不来打个招呼吧
Hey, why don't you guys say hi?
他们只是想要个新妈咪
They just need a new mom.
我才不想跟这些人约会呢
I mean, I wouldn't want to date any of these guys,
但我实在是没办法了
but it was hysterical.
我真想看看事情会演变成什么样
I love seeing how this whole thing turns out.
我真喜欢做你的灾难相亲保镖
I love being your disaster date bodyguard.
我真的不需要小保镖
I really don't need a micro-bodyguard.
好吧就在你背后
Okay. Over your shoulder.
他在东张西望
He's looking around.
应该就是那位蝴蝶结先生
Looks like that could be Mr. Bow Tie.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我认识这个人
I know that man.
他是学校里别的孩子的家长
He's a dad at school.
他是已婚人士
He is a married dad.
埃里克·弗兰克