闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E03

Part 5 April 6, 2021, 9:54 a.m.

新女朋友只有你一半大
and a girlfriend half your age.
中年危机的人该有的你都有了
You're checking off all the boxes for midlife crisis.
确切地说她的年龄是我的61.63%
She is 61.63% of my age, for the record.
-你还算过 -当然算过了
- You actually did the math? - Yeah, I did.
*告诉我你的心事*
*Tell me your troubles and doubts*
你知不知道出来混的迟早都要还
You realize you're gonna pay for this.
享受当下吧
Big time.
我们根本就不用提这事
I mean, we don't have to tell.
不告诉她就不会伤害她了
I'm just saying, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
你能指望查理和莉莉也不说吗
You expect Charlie and Lilly to also not tell?
安妮·莱博维茨美国著名女摄影师
你看他们像安妮·莱博维茨一样各种拍
We got Annie Leibovitz up there with the camera,
舔冰激凌的小屁孩更不可能守口如瓶了
and the kid with the ice cream isn't exactly CIA material.
谁还会给字母i上画爱心
Who puts a heart over an I?
除了10岁小孩
A 10-year-old
和杰克的女朋友
and Jake's girlfriend.
他明明保证过这女的不会出现在我们家
Seriously, he promised that she would not be coming over.
满嘴谎话的渣男
The lying prick.
我竟然在我女儿卧室里吸烟
I'm smoking in my daughter's bedroom.
你消停会儿吧
Oh, my God.
这简直就是坏父母典范
This is like bad parenting 101!
快给你你拿着
God, take it. Take it.
这海报缺了点什么
This is lacking, you know?
还需要点什么
It's--it's wanting.
人性被抹掉了
It's been scrubbed of humanity.
我不知道是不是处理过的
I don't know if it's photoshop, or--
或者她其实就是十岁
or the fact that she's 10.
不管怎么说
Whatever it is,
你想帮她修复她的人性吗
will you restore the humanity?
*雨淅淅沥沥*
*Rain keeps falling*
*雨淅淅沥沥地下*
*Rain keeps falling down*
爸爸快看
Dad, check it.
我Ins上有四百多个赞了
I've got, like, 400 likes on Instagram.
实在是太不可思议了
That's, like, basically impossible.
太棒了
Amazing.
等等你发到Ins上了吗
Wait, did you post it to Instagram?
艾比点赞了
Abby liked it.
最顶上这条那条
At the top. That one.
来吧查理你能行的
Come one, Charlie. You got it. You got it.
感觉好点了吗
Do you feel better?
我是说我...
I mean, I-
我不知道我是个女权主义者
I don't know. I'm a feminist,
而且杰克是个中年老古董
and it's not Becca's fault
又不是贝卡的错
that Jake is a midlife cliche.
没错我的确感觉好多了
Yes, I-- I do actually feel much better.
没错因为我们赐予了她力量
You should, because we've empowered her.
我们给了她一份大礼
We've given her a gift.
我是说这孩子只有十岁
I mean, the kid is only 10,
而这个狐狸精好像...
and she is, like...
她一下子增重了不少啊
She's got a little more heft.
她在说 "这就是我
She says, "Yes, I am.
这就是我"
Yes, I am."
莉莉看到估计会疯掉
When Lilly sees it, she's gonna lose her mind.
天哪
Oh, my God.
我都干了些什么
What have I done?
她穿了件黑色吊带和黑色短裤
She's wearing a black halter and black shorts,
她还拿了个木桩
and she's holding a stake.
不不不不是牛排
No, no, not a meat steak.
不应该是第二季的
No, it has to be season two.
不还是谢谢你了
No? Okay, thank you anyway.
再见他们没有那张海报
Bye. They don't have it.
天哪我太亢奋了刚才太刺♥激♥了
Oh, my God, I am so high, which was fun,
现在感觉好糟糕
but now is not.
拉布雷亚的那家店关门了
That store on La Brea is closed.
不不不求你不要关门
Okay, no, no, no, no. Please don't close.
别关门我们五分钟就到
Don't close. We will be there in five minutes.
好莱坞大道边上的一家店里还有一张
There is one more at a store on Hollywood Boulevard.
奥玛尔在埃法尔路左转
Omar, take a left on Ivar.
左转走你
Do it! go!
去好莱坞大道
To Hollywood Boulevard!
你能编出什么故事来解释你和我们
What possible story would cover you and us
还有贝卡·莱利一起唱卡拉OK
and Karaoke with Becca Riley?
巧合
Coincidence.
我想带孩子们出来玩
I decided to take the kids out,
我们就碰巧遇到了你们
and we ran into you guys.
然后我们又碰巧遇到了贝卡吗
And then we just happened to run into Becca?
如果你能挺我的话她说不定会信的
Okay, she might buy it if you back me up.
伙计我可得和这事撇清关系
Dude, I have to bail myself out here.
她已经抓到过我和敌方混在一起了
I've been caught consorting with the enemy.
敌方
The enemy?
太荒唐了
That's ridiculous.
杰克她是我姐姐
Jake, she's my sister.
我也得跟你离婚吗
And I have to divorce you too?
我请不起第二个律师了
I can't afford another lawyer.
保姆刚给我短♥信♥
Hey, the sitter just texted me.
孩子们在等着了我们得走了
The kids are waiting up. We should go.
杰克她真漂亮
Jake, she's lovely.
爱你走吧
Mm, love you. Come on.
开始
Here we go.
好莱坞之星
艾比日渐堕落的生活第一幕
Abby's life going down the toilet, take one.
这个甜甜圈会不会让我像金发美人
Does this donut make me look blonde?
我的天快让我咬一口
Oh, my God, give me a bite of that right now.
-太棒了我 -是内特
- So good. - Nate.
我以为你把他屏蔽了
I thought you backed him up.
我是把他屏蔽了
I did back him up,
但是他展开了强大的魅力攻势
but he's launching an major charm attack
但我不准备回应他因为他是有妇之夫
which I'm not gonna go for because he's married.
我的天就是那张吗
Oh, my God, is that it?
就是这张莉莉妈
This is it, mama.
谢谢你菲比教母
Thank you, Phoebe Godmother.
要是没有你我会沦落到什么境地
Where would I be without you?
你说不定在跟那个护工
Well, you'd probably be doing something nasty
干些什么龌龊事呢
with that paramedic.
这是哪国语
What language is that?
什么不是吧
What? Oh, no.
就差那么一点
So close.
我想你只能跟莉莉撒谎了
I think you just need to lie to Lilly.
跟莉莉说个谎吧
Just lie to Lilly.
告诉她家里漏水了
Just tell her that there was a leak,
不小心把海报弄坏了
and that the poster got ruined.
奥玛尔
Oh. Um, Omar?
科吉烧烤车
The Kogi truck stops
十分钟后会停在好莱坞的酸奶店前
at the Yogurtland on Hollywood in 10 minutes.
我真是个糟透了的母亲
I'm such a terrible mother.
我现在就该向莉莉承认我没有遵守承诺
I should just check Lilly into "Promises" now.
别这样
Come on.
我们要去酸奶国度
We're going to the land of yogurt.
开心点
Be of good cheer.
她永远不会原谅我的
She's never gonna forgive me.
我本来不想用这一招的
I didn't want to play this card.
什么招
What card?
《血色娇娃》的制片人
Delia used to represent
曾经是迪莉亚的客户
the executive producer of Blood Sisters.
-他们关系特别好 -什么
- They're super tight. - What?
我想他能为咱们弄到海报
I'm guessing he can get us a poster.
-什么 -我知道我很抱歉
- What? - I'm s--I know. I'm sorry.
-打给迪莉亚 -我很抱歉
- Call Delia. - I'm sorry.
不求你别逼我
No, please don't make me.
她会把我玩弄于股掌之间
She will own me.
她会把这个当作把柄
She will hold it over me.