闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E02

Part 3 April 6, 2021, 9:54 a.m.

你最好了
You're amazing.
可是呢 -没可是我有俩孩子
But? - No, we need to take it slow.
还是慢慢来的好
I have two kids.
我不能
I can't just
-就这么和女友同居吧 -好吧
- move into my girlfriend's house. - Okay.
那就挑个我在城里的房♥子去住吧
All right. Well then, just stay at one of my properties downtown.
什么你有房♥子吗
What? You have property?
我八岁就开始工作了
Hey, I've been working since I was eight.
房♥地♥产♥是很好的投资
Real estate's a great investment.
当然了
Yeah.
我得全方位发展
I mean, of course I'm diversified.
干我们这行的女人得聪明点
A woman in this business has to be smart.
这地方年轻至上
This town is all about youth.
抱歉啦
Sorry.
-我有条振奋人心的消息 -什么
- I have something that will cheer us up. - Yeah?
我们被邀请参加艾伦·古德曼的迎婴礼
I got us on Ellen Goodman's baby shower list.
艾伦老是一副苦瓜脸的那个吗
Ellen, the-- with the downwardly drawn mouth?
我们不是讨厌她吗
Don't we hate her?
没错
We did,
不过知道谁主持她的迎婴礼就不会了
until we found out who was hosting her baby shower.
-谁 -谁
- Who? - Who?
格温妮斯
Gwyneth.
格温妮斯·帕特洛美国演员
代表作《莎翁情史》《钢铁侠》
艾伦是格温妮斯的生活导师
Ellen is Gwyneth's life coach.
苦瓜脸艾伦还是生活导师呢
Doom face Ellen is a life coach?
真有意思
That's really funny.
别以貌取人公开离婚小姐
Don't--don't judge, Miss Public Divorce.
这就是我们受到邀请的原因
And that's why we are invited.
我猜格温妮斯是看到了网站上邦诺书店的
I guess Gwyneth apparently saw the YouTube
注意措辞
Careful.
-视频 -想不看都难
- at Barnes -- - Incident.
她觉得相当棒她深有同感
and she thought it was genius. She relates.
我不... 真的吗
I don't--really?
我以为她可是经历了一场完美离婚呢
I thought she had the perfect divorce.
她不是... 差不多是自愿的...
Didn't she do-- it was, like, a conscious--
自愿解除婚姻纯自愿
Conscious uncoupling. All spin.
02年格温妮斯结识酷玩的克里斯·马丁
随后结婚 14年分手共同抚养两名子女
也许她讨厌酷玩的唱腔吧
She probably hates the way Coldplay breathes.
没有谁离婚是完美的你没事的
Nobody has a perfect divorce. You're fine.
大家都知道分手有多难熬
Everybody knows splitting up is hell.
没事我的编辑简直幼稚
Fine? My editor is a child
公开说亨利是头多动症嬉皮士
who published Henry the ADHD hippo.
小挫折罢了宝贝
It's just a setback, baby.
你没事的我们挺你
You're gonna be fine. We got your back.
谢谢你谢谢你们
Thank you. Thank you.
好吧该放下令人不爽的嬉皮士这事了
Okay, uncomfortable hippie should aside,
你得给自己找个律师
you've got to lawyer up.
不杰克和我
No, Jake and I,
我们结婚前这么说过
we had this conversation before we got married,
我们彼此承诺如果事情变成这样
and we promised that if things ever went this way
我们会公平解决
that we would be fair.
他不会带我去分割财产的
He's not gonna take me to the cleaners.
但那都是十七年前说的话了
Yeah, but you had that conversation about 17 years ago.
有白纸黑字吗
Did you get it in writing?
没有
No.
那你们就没说过这话
Well, then, it never happened.
其实我的离婚律师超级棒
My divorce attorney is actually great.
-迪莉娅她棒极了 -等等
- Delia, she's amazing. - Hang on.
-怎么 -别找迪莉娅
- What? - Don't call Delia.
-别让她去找迪莉娅 -迪莉娅是谁
- Don't tell her to call Delia. - Who's Delia?
迪莉娅·巴耐就一病态的骗子
Delia Banai is a pathological liar.
什么凭什么这么说她
What? Based on what?
就凭我是她同事
Based on the fact that I work with her.
她就想看夫妻闹起来
She wants couples to fight.
收费的时长就更多了
More billable hours.
她说的话有一半都净是在扯淡
And 50% of the stuff she says is straight-up lies.
律师不都这样吗
Well, she's a lawyer.
抱歉
Sorry.
我是想帮你
I'm trying to help you out here.
-不管怎样感谢你请的这顿饭 -莱拉
- Anyway, thank you so much for dinner. - Lyla.
我连... 我连律师都不想找
I don't even-- I don't even want a lawyer.
-没事没事不是这事 -莱拉
- It's fine. It's fine. It's not about that. - Lyla.
别生气啊
Don't be mad.
艾瑞克斯潘塞亲爱的该走了
Eric, Spencer, honey, it's time to head out.
妈妈车呢
Mom, where's the car?
我是停这了对吧
I parked here, right?
我的律师收到了酒驾报告
早该知道是你搞的鬼
看你没车怎么办
爱你丹
这太无聊了
This is not funny.
你这留言太无聊了
These texts are not funny.
我倒是觉得挺有意思的
I'm finding them pretty amusing.
洛杉矶市违章停车
你死定了
Oh, you're dead.
我跟你没完
You are so dead.
还停在残疾人车位
Oh, oh, and handicapped?
我发誓你要是再不告诉我
I swear to God, if you don't tell me
他妈的我的车在哪儿
where to find my goddamn car--
我就知道
I knew it.
你能整别人就不许别人整你
You can dish it out, but you can't take it.
车在哪丹
Where's the car, Dan?
我不能不能... 天哪
I can't--I can't--oh, God.
别惹我我没功夫跟你耗
Don't provoke me. I don't have time for this crap.
我还要上班
I have a job.
好可以
Fine. Fine.
最后一个
Last one.
车上有贱♥人♥[该死的贱♥人♥]
Bitch on wheels?
你要跟我对着干吗
Oh, you want to do this?
你真想跟我对着干吗
You want to do this?
看我杀得你片甲不久
I will crush you.
这次你输了宝贝
Not this time, sweetheart.
我终于找回了自己的胆量可比你的大多了
I finally got my sack back, and it's bigger than yours.
丹车在...
Dan, where's the--
您满意吗主人
Did that please you, mistress?
很满意
Very much.
只有我才能支配你
I'm the only woman who gets to dominate you,
不许忘记这一点
And don't you forget it.
你得开车送我去康普顿[加州南部]
You need to drive me to goddamn Compton
我的车被交♥警♥扣了
because my car's been impounded.
好
Okay.
就这样宝贝加油
That's it, honey, come on!
没关系蒂亚戈
That's okay, Diego.
下次就能打到了没关系
We'll get them next time, buddy, all right? All right.
-别放松 -查理该你了
- All right, guys, stay sharp. - Hey, Charlie, you're up.
球棒传下去加油
Let's get the bats going, guys, all right?
今天状态不好
Man, we're off today.
他们已经没信心了
We're giving it up. all right.
你怎么样还好吗
So how you doing? You okay?
也算是预料之中
Yeah, you know, as good as can be expected.
需要我帮忙吗
Anything I can do?
不用我得去找个工作
No, I-- I need to get some work.
好眼力查理
Good eye, Charlie.
坚持住
Stay in there.
-查理 -天哪
- Charlie. - Man.
坚持住...
Stay in the--stay--
-看那边 -没关系查理
- Look that way. - It's okay, Charlie.
就那样
There you go.
如果你需要工作
Well, if you need some work,
可以来帮我啊
You know, you could always come help me out.
跟你去做鬼脸吹牛吗
Yeah, like, mow and blow?
我是庭院设计师
I'm a landscape designer.
我们规划的庭院