闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E08

Part 6 April 6, 2021, 9:56 a.m.

Yesterday when I came home from the Apple Store,
发现他们正在看《权力的游戏》
I found them watching Game of Thrones,
我问她给七岁孩子
and when I asked her about the appropriateness
看什么才叫合适她说
of showing that to a seven-year-old, she said,
"什么呀这剧不就是侏儒和瞎扯"
"What? It's about elves and shit."
你想让我辞了这份工作吗
Did you want me to turn this job down
就因为你要开会
because you have a meeting?
查理编造出了一个想象中的朋友
Charlie has invented an imaginary friend
-来应对压力 -这我知道
- to deal with stress... - I know this.
顺便说一下今天这个朋友还告诉胡佛老师
who, by the way, told Miss Hoover at school today
让她吃他的玉米
that she should eat his corn...
从他的屎里我听过了
Out of his poop. I've heard it before,
但这又不是因为我这周在工作造成的对吗
but not because I'm working this week, though, right?
不因为我们得一起再努力点杰克
No, because we need to be a better team, Jake.
你就不能问问你二十出头的小女友
Can't you just ask your 20-something-year-old girlfriend
她有没有能当保姆的朋友
if she has any friends who can babysit?
知道吗我们其实已经分手了
You know what? We actually broke up.
我不知...
Oh, I didn't--
你知道吗
You know what?
你要是不拿这事来责难我我会很感激的
I would appreciate you not throwing it in my face.
十年了每当你要工作时我都默默支持你
For ten years, I had your back when you needed to work,
而我第一次请求你这么做你却搞砸了
and the first time I ask you, you fall apart.
自己解决吧艾比
Figure it out, Abby.
好了不好意思各位
Okay, everybody, sorry about that.
回到第一幕
Back to one, please.
怎么了
What?
我只是觉得
I just... assumed--
什么
What?
我只是觉得我们应该去一个
I just assumed we'd go somewhere
能听清对方说话的地方
where we could hear each other.
行了吧这地方不错
Oh, come on, this place is great.
不好意思
Sorry, sorry.
那人一直盯着我
This guy keeps staring at me.
红背心
Red tank...
看起来像霸气版的西克里斯特[美偶主持]
looks like butch Seacrest.
那家伙吗
That guy?
挺可爱的
He's adorable.
他真该学精明点
He could use a lesson in subtlety.
他已经盯着我看一晚上了
He's been staring at me all night.
知道吗在我们刚开始约会时
You know, when we first started dating,
你早就直接走过去坐下
you would have walked right over there, sat down,
让那人给你买♥♥杯鸡尾酒了
and let the guy buy you a damn cocktail.
那是很久以前了
That was a long time ago.
去跟他调情吧
Go flirt with him.
让我嫉妒嫉妒
Make me jealous.
这是约会还是要搞3P
Is this a date, or--or are we just trolling for threesomes?
谁说过要3P了
Who said anything about threesomes?
听着我只想让你放松一下
Look, I just want you to loosen up.
我不觉得轻松
Well, I'm not feeling loose.
什么
What?
一点也不轻松
Well, I'm not feeling loose!
我要叫车了
I'm calling a car!
你随便吧
Do what you want!
验孕棒
艾比下来有急事
Abby, come down here! It's an emergency!
来帮帮我
Help.
怎么了
What's happening?
这可不是急事
This is not an emergency.
美味的菜要凉了怎么不是急事呢
It is when food is this delicious and it might get cold.
我好久没吃到正宗中国菜了
Wow. I haven't had real Chinese food in a gazillion years.
-不是吧 -是啊
- Seriously? - Yeah.
我们曾经连续四年为了减肥
We used to eat our weight in beef
吃牛肉和西兰花
and broccoli four years straight.
你怎么吃这个
How are you eating this?
你不是极端素食主义者什么的吗
Aren't you an extreme vegan or something?
-该死不是 -真的吗
- Hell, no. - Oh, really?
不是那些人是疯子
Oh, no. Those people are crazy.
那只是一个阶段
It was a phase.
知道吗挣扎了两年我屈服了
You know, after I hit two years, I caved.
曾经保持着完美体形
I was in the best shape of my life--
完美的发型和指甲简直像匹完美的纯种马
my hair, my nails, thick like a freakin' thoroughbred.
但我真的只想割腕自杀
but all I wanted to do was slit my wrists.
很高兴你放弃了这闻起来真不错
Well, I'm so glad you lapsed. This smells really good.
还记得吗
Do you remember
还记得伊丽莎白镇上的那个地方吗
do you remember the place on Elizabeth
我们过去总会光顾的那个中餐馆
that we used to go to all the time, that Chinese place?
是呀
Yeah.
那时人们不会说"一♥夜♥情♥"这种东西
That was when people didn't say things like "Mixology."
其实很棒
It was cool.
村里人还都不知道呢对吧
Every bridge-and-tunnel person didn't know about it yet, right?
是啊
Exactly.
真高兴你是城里人
I'm so glad you were from the city.
我想如果没有你
I think if I didn't have you,
我可能只是躲在宿舍里直到毕业
I would have just hid in my dorm room until graduation.
作为一个郊区孩子你做得真挺棒
Oh, you took it pretty well for a suburbanite.
当然了
Yeah, I sure did.
我知道这样有点矫情
I know this sounds like a clich?
可你有没有想过
but do you wish you could sometimes just get into,
坐上一台
you know, a...
一台时光机穿越回去
a way-back machine?
时常会想
Constantly.
好吧
All right, well...
很晚了我得回去工作
It's late. I have to do work on my--
不不不要那样好吗
No, no, you don't, okay?
已经两天了我们还没有一起吃顿饭
It's been two days. We haven't had one meal together.
来吧皮包骨
Come on, skinny girl.
来吧
Come on.
我们曾试着隐瞒了好几个月
I mean, we tried to hide it for months.
天呐
Oh, my God.
杰克会出去一整晚
Jake would go out all night,
然后在孩子们起床前回家所以
and then he would come home before the kids got up, so...
这样最好不过
Well, it was all for the best,
因为那个败类从第一天开始就在拖累你
'Cause that loser had you weighed down from day one.
别这样说不是那样的
I wish you would stop saying that. It's not true.
顺便告诉你杰克和我之前一直很好
Jake and I were great for a long time, by the way.
好吧也许你没有感觉到
Okay, well, maybe you didn't see it,
他可是非常乐意
but he was more than happy
把所有负担都扔在你身上
to put all that neurotic crap on you,
天天只知道戈达尔和斯科塞斯
going on and on about Godard and Scorsese
均为著名导演
所有脏活累活都让你干
while you did all the heavy lifting.
我不想说这些
I don't want to have this conversation.
我们每次说着说着就会这样吵起来
We always end up in the same fight,
再提一句弗朗普金斯也不是什么好货
and by the way, Frumpkis is no prize.
弗朗普金斯有工作
Frumpkis has a job.
那不是重点
That is not the point.
他太神经质了
He is so neurotic.
他两分钟就得打一次电♥话♥给你
What, does he call you every two minutes?
他最近也不好过
He's going through something.
他总是不好过
He's always going through something,
不是吸毒就是劈腿
either the drugs or the cheating,
还有你俩不断的分分合合
and the constant breaking up and getting back together.
乔因为他你酗了多少酒
Jo, how many benders did you go on because of him?
我终于告诉了你我的想法
How many times could I hold your hair back
在此之前我还能阻止你多少次
before I finally told you what I thought?
我当初这么劝你时你就从我面前消失了
When I did the same thing, you disappeared on me.
-我没有从你面前消失 -你就是
- I did not disappear on you. - Yeah, you disappeared on me.
你讨厌杰克杰克讨厌罗布
You hated Jake. Jake hated Rob.
我也讨厌罗布
I hated Rob.
杰克和罗布互相讨厌
Jake and Rob hated each other.
情况就是这样我能怎么样
This was just the way it was. What was I supposed to do?
你应该继续和我做朋友