闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E07

Part 1 April 6, 2021, 9:56 a.m.

《闺蜜离婚指南》前情提要
Previously on girlfriends' guide to divorce...
我们从未真正做过爱
We've never really made love.
你真是感情淡漠
You're really emotionally blocked.
-我认识这么个人 -你的心理医生
- I have this guy. - Your shrink?
像是个巫师
Like a shaman.
我们准备好通过饮用死藤水
Are we prepared for our journey
来进行自我表露了吗
to self-revelation through ayahuasca?
你跟拉尔夫有什么故事
What's the story with you and Ralf?
他为给我花钱而感到兴奋
He gets off on paying me now.
-孩子抚养费 -不他一定得付
- Child support? - No, he has to pay that.
这是服务的代价
This is for services rendered.
莱拉发生什么了
Lyla, what's going on?
多亏了丹监护权七三开
70-30 custody in Dan's favor.
我觉得也许
I just thought that maybe
我们可以来场旅行
we could go on a trip.
一定会很精彩
It's gonna be an adventure.
为何非得分开
Why did we have to split
才能发现你有多美
for me to see how goddamn beautiful you are?
莱拉
Lyla?
莱拉莱拉莱拉莱拉
Lyla, Lyla, Lyla, Lyla, Lyla?
莱拉这是第四条留言还是第七条
Lyla, this is message four, seven?
我也不知道懒得数了
I don't know, I stopped counting.
我知道你很烦我但拜托给我回个电♥话♥
I know you are upset with me, but I need you to call me back.
给我回电♥话♥ 否则我就把你的交友资料
Call me back, or I'll put your dating profile
放到农民交♥友♥网♥上去真有这个网站
on ranchersonly.com, and yes, that is a thing.
给我回电♥话♥
Call me.
搞什么妈妈
Really, mom?
你还记得你那个茉莉公主生日派对吗
Do you remember your Princess Jasmine birthday party?
不记得八百年前的事了
No, it was like a zillion years ago.
你那时六七岁吧超级喜欢她
You were six, maybe seven. You were so obsessed with her.
当她出现时你和你朋友都在尖叫
When she showed up, you and your friends started screaming
就好像看到了披头士似的可爱死了
like it was the Beatles. It was so cute.
我挑好了生日时要穿的裙子
Um, I picked out the birthday dress I want.
是人类学[服装品牌]的
It's from Anthropologie.
你戴着让我照张相吧好吗
Let me just take one picture of you wearing it, please?
能给我买♥♥吗打折后220美元
Can I get it? It's on sale for $220.
莉莉这裙子太贵了
Lilly, that's a lot of money for a dress.
你说过我可以随便挑的
You said I could pick one out.
价格要合理不能超过150美元
Reasonably priced. Nothing more than $150.
你裙子的价格都是这个的两倍
You spend twice as much as that on dresses.
我年龄也是你的两倍
Well, I'm twice your age.
-随你怎么说 -等下等等等等
- Whatever. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
你得帮我给你的派对选个餐车
I just need you to help me pick out a food truck for your party.
我想选科吉
I'm thinking Kogi.
妈妈不要玉米卷餐车早都过时了
Mom, no, taco trucks are so over.
那玩意全是碳水化合物
They're filled with carbs.
查理别碰气球
Charlie! Leave the balloons alone.
是查德干的不是我
It's Chad, not me.
查德
Chad.
哪个十四岁的女孩不吃碳水化合物
What 14-year-old girl doesn't eat carbs?
我朋友都不吃
My friends.
墙上有东西妈妈
There's something on the wall, mom.
那好那就不要玉米卷
Okay, fine, no tacos for you then.
那东西好大好大妈妈
It's really, really big, mom.
你们总得吃东西啊
You gotta eat something.
不如我们选寿司快餐车吧
I was thinking maybe we could get a sushi truck.
寿司里有米饭米饭就是碳水化合物
Sushi has rice. Rice is a carb.
当然是只吃生鱼片了妈妈
Sashimi, mom, obviously.
妈妈查德先看到的你看
Mom, Chad saw it first, see?
你看
Look.
该死
Shit.
菲比你怎么来了
Phoebe? Hey, what are you doing here?
我想找莱拉咨♥询♥点法律问题
I was hoping to talk to Lyla about legal advice
因为那个在维加斯吞了手镯的婴儿
because of the baby that ate the bracelet in Vegas.
那孩子的妈妈吓坏了人之常情
Well, mom is understandably freaking out,
所以我想也许她能帮我
so I thought maybe she could help me,
但她还没来
but she's not here.
这好奇怪
Oh, well, that's weird.
她平时八点半之前就到了
She's usually here before 8:30.
打扰下我能跟她说会话吗
Hi, excuse me, can I, uh, borrow her for a sec?
当然
Yeah.
昨天半夜我收到了莱拉的邮件
I got an email late last night from Lyla.
她说要休假
She's taking a leave
从今天开始
starting today.
休假要多久
A leave? For how long?
她不接
No answer.
她也不回我短♥信♥
She is not answering any of my texts.
都是我的错
This is my fault.
都是因为我对她说的话
It was everything I said to her,
而维加斯之行是最后一根稻草
and Vegas was the last straw.
亲爱的别担心莱拉
Oh, honey, please do not worry about Lyla.
这可能是她的惯用伎俩
You know, this is probably one of her stunts.
她可能正在帕尔米拉喝着鸡尾酒
She's probably at the Palmilla drinking margaritas,
想要吓吓丹因为没人给他钱了
trying to make Dan sweat because his meal ticket's gone awol.
你父亲又打来电♥话♥
Your father's on the phone again.
请他留个言吧
Okay, take a message, please.
好的还有戈登·比奇已经到了
Okay, and Gordon Beech is here.
好的谢谢
Great. Thank you.
那个娶了设计师考特尼·比奇的戈登·比奇吗
Gordon Beech as in married to the designer Courtney Beech?
就是他还有他已经离婚了
One and the same. And he was married.
你在打扮呢
You're primping.
他很帅吗
Is he hot?
跟人会面我都会打扮亲爱的
I freshen for every meeting, doll.
别担心莱拉了
Please don't worry about Lyla.
她会出现的
She'll turn up.
房♥子的地基移位了
The foundation under the house has shifted,
这个裂缝会越来越大
so the crack is gonna continue spreading
除非你建个挡土墙
unless you get a retaining wall.
挡土墙
A retaining wall?
那种墙色调特别暗跟监狱似的
Ugh, they're so bleak and prison-breaky.
没错但它们能避免你的房♥子
True, but they also keep your house
滑下山坡
grom sliding down the hill.
好吧麦克斯这事情有多紧急
Yeah, well, Max, how urgent is this?
因为我们不能取消莉莉的生日派对
Because we cannot cancel Lilly's birthday party.
非得告诉你整个派对也会滑下山坡才行吗
Well, I mean, unless said party's gonna be sliding down a hill.
还要下周也不行
And I can't do it next week either
因为乔要来看我她会住在这
because Jo's coming to visit me, and she's staying here.
乔妓♥女♥乔吗
Jo? Jo the ho?
别这么叫她
Don't call her that.
她就是这么向我介绍自己的
That's how she introduced herself to me.
我想她给你的自我介绍肯定还包括了
I believe she also introduced herself to you
滚床单
with her vagina.
-别这样 -你好啊麦克斯
- Please don't. - Hello, hello, Max.
初次见面来滚吧
First time, vagina.
别让我想起来
Don't remind me.
好吧我还以为你跟她绝交了
Okay, I thought you broke up with her.
-她太疯狂了 -是你不喜欢她
- She's a crazy person. - You hated her.
所以是我的错了
So it's my fault?
我们当时还在一起所以我选择了你
We were married. I picked you.
你就是找借口
Oh, that is convenient.
是我之前找他估价的家伙
It's the guy I called about the estimate.
我们不需要今天就处理地基的问题
Look, we don't need to deal with the foundation today,
但要尽快解决
but it needs to be handled soon.
莉莉因为她生日时穿的裙子给我打了电♥话♥
Oh, um, Lilly called me about her birthday dress.
我从没给她买♥♥过什么所以我可以
I haven't gotten her anything yet, so is it okay if--
-那裙子有点贵所以 -好吧
- It's a little pricey, so-- - Okay.
你买♥♥吧
You know what, just get it.
没问题买♥♥吧
Sure, yeah.
好的
Okay.
-还有 -还有昨晚的事