闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S01E09

Part 5 April 6, 2021, 9:56 a.m.

Erick Frank.
天哪
Oh, God.
我还以为你是...
I thought you were--
-艾比 -没错学校里的那个
- Abby. - That's right, from school.
咱们的小孩上同一所学校
Our kids go to the same school.
我每天早上都能看到你
I see you every morning.
对哦
Right.
多有意思
How funny.
碰到你真是太巧了
What a coincidence running into you.
是吗花真好看
Is it? Nice flowers.
我还是继续去谈公事了
I better get back to my business drinks.
-你看上去很漂亮 -谢谢你
- You look great. - Oh, thank you very much.
我会告诉你太太我在这碰到你了
I'll--I'll let your wife know that I ran into you here.
请不要告诉她
Please don't.
求你了
Please.
你要...你要去狂欢了
You're gonna-- you're gonna have a blast.
我要去工作宝贝去德克萨斯
Going for work, babe, in Texas.
据我所知我还是个黑人加基佬
Last time I checked, I'm still black and gay.
你说的是奥斯汀不是德州
Austin is not Texas.
所以...
So, um...
你想行使你的对外嘿♥咻♥权吗
are you gonna use your-- your hall pass?
奥斯汀的人估计我们都不认识所以
Well, Austin is at least three degrees of separation, so I...
对哦我估计也是
Right, that's what I figured.
别担心宝贝出去玩吧
Don't worry, babe. Go out.
自己也找点乐子好吗
Have yourself some fun too, okay?
好吧
Okay.
爱你
Love you.
你的照片基本上都没露脸
Your picture-- it was mostly just your body.
你在网路上贴了一张
You posted a photo of your man junk
你下身的照片
on the Interweb.
我知道
I know.
只有这样我老婆才认不出来
It's the only way my wife won't recognize me.
埃里克这这太疯狂了
Erick, that's-- that's insane.
只是
It's just--
她受不了我
she can't stand me.
我俩都不怎么亲热
We barely touch.
接受婚姻治疗不是比
Well, wouldn't therapy be better than, you know,
弗朗普金斯来电
打扮你的男根有用吗
dressing up your meat puppet?
我也想可是她不想试
I want to, but she won't give it a chance.
要是这么糟糕的话为什么还在一起
Well, if it's so bad, why stay?
弗朗普金斯来电
为什么大家要在一起呢
Why does anybody stay?
为了孩子们
The kids.
我跟你说实话
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you, telling--
跟孩子们说离婚的事真是...
telling the kids about our divorce was--
真是我人生中最艰难的事
was one of the hardest days of my life.
但你说到底怎样才算是对孩子好
But who's to say what's the best for kids,
离婚还是一对备受煎熬的父母
divorce or two miserable parents?
我很高兴终于解脱了
I'm so grateful to be unstuck.
我们都麻木了
We were paralyzed.
我不觉得我能跟你一样勇敢
I don't think I'm as brave as you.
我没觉得我当时很勇敢
I didn't feel brave.
我现在也没觉得
I don't feel brave.
但我们都值得拥有没有谎言和出轨的爱情
But everyone deserves to be loved without cheating or lies.
再说不跟人亲热
And never being touched,
艾瑞克那简直不是人过的日子
Erick, that's not-- that's not a way to live.
我的天
Oh, my God.
太漂亮了
It is so beautiful.
考特尼出击时我得到了红色和条纹的灵感
When Courtney attacks, I see red and strike back,
所以我们得把离婚进行到底
which is why we need to move this divorce along.
但我已经把一切都处理好了
But I've taken care of everything.
她别无选择只能把韩国分部对半分
She has no choice now but to split Korea 50/50.
没错你怎么知道
That's right. How did you know?
我把离婚的日期后推了
I pushed back the date of separation.
我跟她上♥床♥了
I slept with her.
天哪你是开玩笑吗
Oh, my God, is this a joke?
迪莉娅你要是冷静下来想想我们的选择
Delia, rationally recognizing our options,
这是最好的办法
it was the right move.
你真是个蠢货
You're an idiot.
她玩弄了你
She played you.
我今天刚让她同意对半分
I got her to agree to a 50/50 split today.
她跟你上♥床♥是为了报复我
She had sex with you to get back at me.
什么怎么可能
What? How?
无所谓了
It doesn't matter, okay?
我赢了...
I won...
而不是靠出♥卖♥♥♥自己的肉体
without prostituting myself.
你为什么不告诉我
Well, why didn't you call me?
因为我想亲自告诉你
Because I wanted to tell you in person.
我没想到你会上了她
It didn't occur to me that you would screw her.
这都过去了好吗咱们要向前看
It's in the past, all right? We'll just--we'll move on.
-别你别碰我 -听我说
- Don't. You don't touch me. - No, listen--
不你前脚说对我有感觉
No, first you declare some kind of affection,
后脚就和考特尼上♥床♥吗
and then you have sex with Courtney?
-为了我们这是为了我们 -天哪
- For us. I did it for us. - Oh, my God.
-你滚出去 -不
- You need to get out of here. - No.
-迪莉娅 -你该走了出去
- Delia. - You need to go. Get out.
你在干什么没必要为道格这么做
What are you doing? Doug doesn't deserve that.
见这种烂人不用化妆
No, no primping for pump and dump.
-你别给我起头 -你疯了吗
- Don't you start in on him. - Are you crazy?
别挑我毛病
Don't you do it.
是你要跟来的
You're the one that asked to come.
你的原话是"叙叙旧还挺有趣的"
I believe your words were, "It will be fun to catch up."
我话里的意思是
Well, my inside words were,
"上帝啊我再也不想一个人了"
"Dear God, I don't want to be alone another minute."
别担心我会表现很好的
Don't worry. I'm gonna be very nice.
-我保证 -好吧
- Promise. - Okay.
你还记得你对盛装鸡鸡先生说的话吗
So you remember all that stuff that you said to Dressy D?
我想或许该再给弗朗普金斯一次机会
I'm thinking maybe Frumpkis deserves another chance.
你就想明白了这个吗
That's what you got from it?
他爱我他跟我保证
The man loves me, and he promised me that he's gonna--
他会洗心革面...
he's gonna clean up his act, so...
乔他都说过多少回了
Jo, how many times has he said that to you?
那佐伊呢
And what about Zooey?
你不能就这么对她
You can't just keep jerking her around.
我只是... 我也不知道
I-I just-- I-I don't know.
佐伊人呢
Where is Zooey?
她坐车去圣莫尼卡了
Uh, she took the bus to Santa Monica.
她想看看沙滩
She wanted to see the beach.
独自一人吗
Alone?
是啊
Yeah.
就她一个人吗
By herself?
-她不会寂寞的 -这样不安全
- She doesn't get lonely. - That is not safe.
天你可真是神经质
Oh, my God, you're so neurotic.
难怪呢
Of course.
瞧瞧谁现在长成大胖子了
Oh, look who became a big gordo blob now?
你知道我前面遇到谁了吗她叫啥来着
You know who else I just saw? Oh, what's her name?
她有点面瘫
Uh, the girl who was always a little off.
脸是这样的
She had the face, and-
-苏·凯特尔斯 -对
- Oh, Sue Kettles. - Yes.
患有贝尔氏麻痹
Yeah, with the Bell's palsy.
-还记得... -她患了啥
- Oh, remember when-- - With the what?
-患有贝尔氏麻痹 -还记得...
- Yeah. She had Bell's palsy. - Remember when--
-她才没有 -天哪
- She did not. - Oh, my God.
你在逗我吗她半边脸都瘫了
Are you kidding me? Her face was half-paralyzed.
我们都还小的时候她就有带状疱疹了
She had shingles when we were little kids.
-什么 -你不记得了吗
- What? - Don't you remember?
-不 -是的
- No. - Yes.
我还和她谈过呢她居然从没告诉我
We hooked up. She never told me this.
你真是我见过最蠢的男人了
You are the dumbest man I've ever met.
都这么晚了
Wow. It is so late.
-我得走了 -那我和你一起走