废柴联盟（2009）

Community S06E04

Part 4 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:10 p.m.

I was kind of born to act, Brita.
我好像很有演戏天赋呢布雷塔
When I do it.
当我表演时
I can feel it pleasing the universe.
我能感觉到天人合一喜乐非常
That's dramatic.
真狗血
See?
是吧
Theodore says that if they're sparrows they'll be flying
西奥多说如果它们是麻雀那在12天内
in less than 12 days. If they're albatrosses,
肯定会飞翔如果是信天翁
we're in trouble.
那就麻烦了
Albatrosses have a 270 day fledgling period.
信天翁的雏鸟期长达270天
Thanks for guarding the nest with me.
谢谢你能陪我一起守卫鸟巢
This is what you do when you're working?
你工作时就在干这个吗
Must be nice.
肯定挺舒服的哈
All right, look.
好吧听我说
There's a bird's nest in the router.
路由器里有一个鸟巢
Now if you want to fire me, fire me.
要是你想炒我随便你炒好了
Either way, until those birds are gone
无论怎样在这些小鸟飞走之前
nobody gets any closer.
任何人都不得接近
Well of course not.
当然不能靠近啦
If you move them the mother won't come back.
如果动了鸟巢鸟妈妈就不会回来了
Keep up the good work.
继续好好工作吧
Show me wax on.
上蜡
This is the worst acting I've ever seen in my life.
这是我有生以来看过的最烂的表演
Show me wax, off.
刮蜡
The ghost of your father just turned his back on you.
你老爹的幽灵都转身不忍♥直视了
Your ancestors are clawing their way
你家八辈祖宗都气得乱挠
deeper into the Earth to get away from you,
挠向地下深处好赶紧逃离你
you make me embarrassed to have thumbs,
你让我觉得拥有大拇指就是罪啊
I can see air quotes around you.
你周围飘满了讽刺性的引号♥啊
Show me paint the fence.
漆篱笆
Knock, knock, knock, anybody home?
咚咚咚有人在家吗
Oh look, there's nobody here, oh it's so dusty,
看里面啥都没有好多灰呀
it's almost like nobody's been here in years.
看起来好像很多年都没人住了
There's a note.
这里有个纸条
Never let me act.
千万别让我表演
Mr. Lundegaard, I'm sorry,
兰德加德先生很抱歉
but I cannot stand by while you do this.
但我已经无法忍♥受你的所作所为了
That's fine, you can go.
没关系你可以走人啊
I'm not bluffing.
我可不是在吓唬你
You can't make an actor more talented by yelling at them.
光靠大吼大叫也无法让演员变得更有天赋
And if you don't stop, your lead character is going to walk.
如果你再不收手你的主角只好退出了
Lead?
主角
You played Danny LaRusso.
你扮演的是丹尼尔·拉鲁索
Well I'm the Karate Kid.
我是龙威小子呀
The Karate Kid is about Kesuke Miyagi,
龙威小子说的是宮城健介
an immigrant who fought against his own people in World War II,
身为移♥民♥却在二战中跟同胞相斗
while his wife lost a child in an internment camp.
而他的妻子则在俘虏营痛失爱子
Noriyuki Morita was nominated for an Academy Award
森田则之因为自己的精彩表演
for his performance.
荣获奥斯卡提名
Ralph Macchio?
拉尔夫·马奇奥呢
Showed up.
出席而已
I cast you because your measurements
我选你出演只是因为你的三围
allow me to use the same wardrobe as last year.
刚好能穿上去年的戏装
I cast Ben because he has the sadness and
我选本则是因为他拥有忧伤的气质
talent that could make this show great.
以及极高的天赋可以让这部戏大放异彩
If I have to physically drill into his chest
如果我得在他胸膛上钻孔
and suck it out with a straw!
拿吸管吸出他的才华
So you can take a flying kick and a rolling donut!
这样你才能随便来个无影脚画圈圈啥的
You'e fired.
你被炒了
But I'm talented, too, right?
但我也很有天赋不是吗
What? No. Really?
啥你讲真的吗
Really?
真心的吗
Oh my God! You’re like doing
我的天你简直就是
But, like, I know you're not capable of anything better.
我知道你这货啥事儿都干不好
So, that's why I've been so nice to you.
所以我才对你客客气气的
Take care Annie.
保重吧安妮
Yikes, right?
呵呵哒
What a diva.
真当自己是女主吗
Thanks for sticking up for me.
谢谢你为我挺胸而出
No problem?
不客气
From now on, she's dead to us.
从现在开始就当她死了
Hey Gay Dean we got a problem here.
基院长我们有问题了
You ring the local papers.
你给当地报纸打电♥话♥
You've shut down the campus WiFi
你关闭了学校的Wi-Fi
until a nest of baby birds can grow?
直到一窝小鸟长大飞走是吗
That's a little too gay.
这也有点太基了吧
I didn't do it because I'm gay.
我这样做并不是因为我是基佬
Wait, I'm not gay.
等下我根本不是基佬
Oh. Oh, that did not just get said to us.
刚刚那句话我们就当没听到
You are gay.
你就是基佬
You are openly gay and we love it.
你就是出柜基佬我们万分支持
But now we are dealing with more flak
现在我们面临的
from conservatives for appointing you
来自保守党对你的谴责要远远多于
than we ever did from gays for not having one of you.
当初因没有基佬而招致的基佬谴责
Yeah, and the gays aren't coming to your side.
而且基佬也并不跟你站一边
You know why?
知道为什么吗
Because the whole point is to get a job by being gay
因为重点就在于以基佬的身份获得工作
and then to do as good of job as the normals.
但工作表现要像正常人一样优秀
That's what the gays want.
这才是基佬的愿望
They don't want a Gay Dean who acts like a weird gay monster.
他们可不想要好似基佬怪物的基院长
I'm not a Gay Dean.
人家不是基院长
Whoa, not cool, man
表这样啦亲
Don't bring us into your web of lies.
别再拿你的谎言欺骗我们啦
Well, now what do you want me to do?
那现在你们要我怎样
Figure it out, Gay Dean.
自己搞定基院长
Figure it out.
自己搞定
Hey, Domingo.
你好多明戈
Hey, what's up?
你们好
Guys, the school needs Wi-Fi,
伙计们学校需要Wi-Fi
and my job is to run the school.
我的工作就是维持学校运营
The school doesn't need baby birds.
学校不需要小雏鸟
The nest needs to be moved.
鸟巢必须马上移除
You are not crossing this line.
不许你们跨过这条线
I'm taping this.
我要发微博了
This is on video.
开始录像
Guys. This is two white security guards
给我上现在是两个白人保安
versus one unarmed black man and two baby birds.
对付一个手无寸铁的黑人外加两只小雏鸟
Your move.
出招吧
Stand down.
退下
Stand down.
退下
No security, no weapons.
不要保安不用武器
Just one unarmed black man
只有一个手无寸铁的黑人
versus one unarmed, openly Gay Dean.
对抗一个手无寸铁的出柜基院长
Now move that nest, please.
现在挪走鸟巢劳驾
Just a hair back Domingo, it's like you're breathing for me.
拜托往后一点点感觉你都要帮我呼吸了
** Your lifestyle is alternative *
*你生活方式好另类
** Your influence is positive *
*你的影响很积极
** You represent the changing of the tide *
*你代表了改变的大趋势
** Inspiring to young gay men *
*你鼓舞了年轻的小基佬
** You'll never be ashamed again *
*你再也不会心存羞愧
** But there's another secret locked inside *
*但你内心仍有秘密深锁其中
** Gay Dean, Gay Dean *
*基院长基院长
** Gay Dean, Gay Dean *
*基院长基院长
** I'm begging you to be a gay Dean for the school board *
*求你到校董会来当基院长
** Gay Dean, Gay Dean *
*基院长基院长
** Gay Dean, Gay Dean *
*基院长基院长
I have called this press conference because
我召开本次新闻发布会
I have been less that honest with the public.
是因为我一直对公众没有坦诚相待
You know me as the openly Gay Dean of Greendale Community College,
大家都知道我是格林德尔大学的出柜基院长
but that doesn't even begin to describe what I really am.
但这根本不是真正的我
I belong to one of the most marginalized
我是美国最受排斥