加州靡情（2007）

Californication S07E03

Part 1 Dec. 1, 2020, 12:22 p.m.

Previously on californication...
《加州靡情》前情回顾
Nothing?
还是不行
Nope. Not a twitch.
动都没动
I even tossed his salad for a second or three.
我甚至还使劲摇晃了一会
Are you sure you can actually handle the job?
你确定你能搞定这份工作吗
Can you show up on time, play nice with others?
你能准时上班团结同事吗
Can you work with actors without fucking them or punching them?
你能保证不上也不揍任何演员吗
Oh, so you have read my work?
所以你读过我的作品
What? What? What is it now?
什么又闹什么啊
I mean, nothing would surprise me at this point.
这个时候什么都不会让我吃惊了
He's really my kid?
他真是我儿子吗
I mean, I--all I have is his word to go on, and--
我现在只有他的一面之词
and no offense, but he doesn't present
无意冒犯但他看起来
as the most trustworthy source.
有些不太可信
I'm standing right here.
我就站在这里呢
He's got all these crazy expectations
他对你们恢复父子关系
of you guys making up for lost time.
充满不切实际的期待
I don't have the heart to tell him
我不忍♥心告诉他
that you're not that kind of guy.
你不是那种人
Wha-- oh, is this your kid?
他是你儿子吗
Apparently. Does he want a job?
显然如此他想不想来这里工作
Because I just promoted the P.A. To writer's assistant.
我刚刚把我的私人助理提拔为编辑助理
Baby, there's someone you got to meet.
亲爱的我想让你见一个人
Can I make this better? You can't.
有什么我可以补救的吗没有
Well, that's a very defeatist attitude, Karen.
别这么悲观啊凯伦
Hank...
汉克
You have another family.
你还有别的家庭
"Family" Is a strong word.
"家庭"这个词有点言过其实了
However dysfunctional, we've always been a family.
不管再怎么不合我们始终是一家人
Now there's another one.
但现在你又有了个家庭
There's another baby mama. There's another kid.
另外一个孩子他妈另外一个孩子
Do you realize how fucking devastating that is?
你知道这有多让人绝望吗
Do you realize that the bottom
我们这段感情已经
has just officially dropped out of our relationship?
没有底线了你知道吗
Okay, okay, okay. I-I get it. I get it.
好了好了我懂
But I think once you get over that first initial jolt of anger,
但我想等你气消了以后
you're gonna see that--that--
你就能明白...
Angry? I'm not angry.
消气我没有生气
No? You're not? No! Why would I be angry?
没有吗没为什么我要生气
You seem kind of angry. No. No, no, no.
你看起来挺气的不不不
I'm not even entitled to anger,
我根本没资格生气
because--because you impregnated her before you even met me.
因为在遇见我之前你就把她肚子搞大了
That's true. That's very true.
确实是这样
And I'm actu--I'm glad that you see it that way.
其实我很高兴你能这么看待此事
And I think you're actually being
而且我觉得你对
hugely progressive about the whole thing.
这整件事的看法很超前
And that's what makes it ten times worse.
这就更糟了
She was there first.
她比我先到
She is baby mama number one.
她才是孩子他妈一号♥
I am baby mama number two. Okay.
我是孩子她妈二号♥ 好了
And she's a ridiculous fucking milf, which makes it even "Worser."
而且还他妈♥个♥撩人的熟♥女♥ 这就更更糟了
I-I know that I have a knack for this shit, Karen.
我知道我是挺擅长把别人肚子搞大的
Oh, you have a knack, all right.
还擅长好吧
It's a minor miracle that more kids didn't come looking for you.
没有更多小孩跑来叫你♥爸♥爸都算是奇迹了
Oh, hey, that's not very nice.
这话可不好听了
You know I've always been very responsible
你知道我一向是
when it comes to the controlling of birth.
对计划生育十分负责的
And in the past, if a woman was kind enough
在以前要是某位女士愿意和我
to share her privates with me and asked me
分享她的私处并要求我带套
to slap on a prophylactic, I would do that with a smile.
我也会微笑着照做
You know, but sometimes the dogwater
但有时候我的精华也会不小心
can seep in there and cause trouble.
漏出来在穴穴里孕育点小麻烦
Oh, yeah, I know the trouble.
那点小麻烦我知道
I know the trouble.
我知道
Do you know what you need to start thinking about?
知道你该好好想想什么了吗
Is how you are gonna tell your daughter
想想怎么告诉你女儿
that she has a brother that she never even knew about!
她还有个素未谋面的哥哥吧
It's a half-brother, Karen. Half.
同父异母的凯伦
It's like having a long-lost cousin.
就像八竿子打不着的表哥一样
It's not that big a deal, really.
真没什么大不了的
It's nothing like that! Okay.
根本就不是一回事好吧
I got to go to work anyway.
反正我也得去工作了
So, um...
那就...
It was good talking to you!
跟你聊得很愉快
Have a nice day!
祝你愉快
What the fuck, dude?
干嘛啊老兄
What happened to meeting me out on the curb?
不是说好了出来见面吗
Sorry. I guess I overslept. I was up all night playing Xbox.
抱歉睡过了玩了整晚Xbox
Why? Why would you do that
为什么明知道今早
when you know you're starting a new job in the morning?
有份新工作你还这么玩
'Cause that's how I deal with my anxiety--
我就是这么处理焦虑情绪的
Xbox...and weed. Do you smoke weed?
Xbox和抽大♥麻♥ 你抽吗
God, there's so much I don't know about you.
天啊我太不了解你了
Anyway, I-I'm pretty nervous about this new gig.
对于这份新工作我还挺紧张的
Yeah, well, now you're gonna be pretty late for this new gig.
但你现在已经迟到很久了
I guess I thought show business
我以为演艺圈的工作时间
started later than the real world.
比一般的都晚呢
It does. It's 11:00 a.m.
对啊现在已经11点了
Is that late enough for you?
对你来说够晚了吗
Shit. O-o-okay, I-I'm gonna go get dressed.
我♥操♥ 好了我马上换衣服
I'm sorry. It's a good plan.
抱歉这主意不错
Now hustle! Come on, move it!
拜托赶紧的
Okay! Go, go, go, go, go.
好了快快快
You know what? I-I don't know if I'm okay
那啥你这么凶我
with you coming down on me so hard.
我挺不舒服的
What gives you the right, huh?
你哪来的资格
Where have you been the last 20 years or so?
过去的二十年你都去哪了
Oh, I don't know, I've been busy not knowing about you.
不知道忙着不知道你的存在吧
Still.
反正别吼我
You mind if I use the facilities?
介意我用下厕所吗
I don't care.
无所谓
"I don't care."
无所谓
Hank, what the fuck? Ay! Apologies.
汉克干嘛呢抱歉
Jesus! No need to take names in vain.
天啊别老天啊天啊的
We're all adults here,
大家都是成年人
and we happen to be adults who have seen each other naked.
而且我们也是俩赤♥裸♥相见过的成年人
20 years ago. Hey, I remember that mole.
二十年前了我还记得那颗痣
Could we not have this conversation while I'm peeing?
能别在我尿尿的时候说这个吗
Do we have to?
有必要吗
Okay, I'm just kidding and backing away slowly...
好了开个玩笑那我慢慢地出去了
Very, very slowly. Get out!
非常非常慢出去
Yeah, could you maybe not hit on my mom in front of me?
能别在我面前调戏我妈吗
It makes me feel uncomfortable.
我很不舒服
I wasn't hitting on her.
我没调戏她
I was engaging a little flirtatious banter.
我是在满怀情调地挑逗而已
There's a big difference.
有很大区别的
Whatever, okay? I have issues.
算了我有阴影的好吗
The only kids who ever wanted to hang out with me
跟我玩的那些家伙的唯一目的
wanted to fuck my mom.
就是操♥我♥妈
They'd be asking for hugs all the time,
每次都闹着要抱抱
knuckle-brushing her ass.
用指关节来回蹭她屁♥股♥
Fucking confusing times, man.
那日子过得真♥他♥妈♥混乱
What? Nothing.
怎么了没啥
Do I look pimp?
我来看起来屌♥吗
You're pimp.
超屌♥的
Mom, come on, cut it out. Okay.
妈够了好吧
Okay, be nice, work hard,
随和点努力点
mind your manners, and don't be weird, okay?
注意举止别跟怪胎一样好吗
I won't. Promise?
不会的保证
Promise. I love you.
保证爱你