加州靡情（2007）
Californication S07E02
Part 1
Dec. 1, 2020, 12:22 p.m.
Previously on Californication...
《加州靡情》前情回顾
Karen, I came back... for you.
凯伦 我为了你又回来了
Atticus just fired me. Bummer.
阿提克斯把我解雇了 这下糟了
But not before he fired you too.
不过他先炒了你
I need to present myself to Karen
我得把自己弄成
as an adult male with a job.
一位有工作的成熟男人 才敢去见凯伦
You must be Hank. Henry James Moody I.
你一定就是汉克吧 亨利·詹姆斯·穆迪一世
Rick Rath. Call me Rath.
我是瑞克·拉瑟 叫我拉瑟就行
The last thing I need around here is some snotty,
我最讨厌见到的就是傲慢
pretentious fuck who's gonna look down on television.
又自命不凡 又瞧不起电视的混球了
I'm trying to grow the fuck up for once
我想试着成熟一次
before it's too fucking late,
在为时已晚之前
and it all starts with me getting a job.
而在此之前 我得找到一份工作
Are you sure you can actually handle a job?
你确定你能搞定这份工作吗
Hey, did you manage to get it up last night?
你昨晚成功勃起了吗
I don't want to talk about it.
我不想谈这个话题
You're Hank Moody. Who would you be?
你是汉克·穆迪 你是谁
This would be Levon.
他叫莱文
He's the kid I've been telling you about.
就是我跟你说要采访你的那个孩子
He wants to interview you for his college newspaper.
他想为大学校报的文章采访你
Do you have any children?
你有孩子吗
Yeah, one, a daughter.
有一个女儿
You fucked my mom.
你上过我的妈妈
Really? You're not fucking with me?
真的吗 你确定没开玩笑
When did this occur?
这是什么时候的事
I guess about nine months before I was born.
大概是我出生的九个月前
Yay! It's a murse!
是个男士肩包
My very own murse! How did you know?
正是我喜欢的 你怎么知道的
Stop it.
别这么夸张
It's for all your writerly accoutrement.
这是为了符合你的作家身份
I thought it was very rock and roll.
我觉得很摇滚
Totally.
酷毙了
And yet, it sends a very strong and clear message to my
它能清楚有力地告诉我的同事
co-workers that this dude could rock out with his cock out.
这个家伙摇滚起来没正形
But when he's done,
但当他不摇滚的时候
he can tuck it away and get down to biz.
也能收敛起来干干正事
My thoughts exactly.
我就是这么想的
Wear it well on your first day.
上班的第一天就背着它
I shall, my love. Thank you so much.
我会的 亲爱的 太谢谢你了
I'm very proud of you.
我为你感到骄傲
Why? 'Cause I got a stinkin' job?
为什么 因为我找了份破工作
If I'd known it was this easy
如果我知道这么容易
to make your bosom swelleth with pride,
就能让你感到骄傲
I would have applied for a job at Starbucks long ago.
我早就在星巴克找份工作了
Barista. No, it's not just the job.
咖啡师 不 不只是工作让我高兴
You're finally ready to embrace change, I think.
你终于准备迎接改变了
Well, the times, they are a-changing,
时代 在不停的变化
whether I likes it or not.
不管我喜不喜欢
And change is...
改变很...
sexy. You don't say?
性感 你真这么想
I do. Really?
真的 真的吗
I do say.
我说真的
Gosh, golly.
天啊 天啊
Who knew gainful employ could be such a panty peeler?
谁知道用来赚钱的工作还会成为扒裤子的利器
Okay. All right. All right.
好了 好了
Before--okay,
好了
before this accelerates into heavy petting, moist humping,
在这一幕变成肆意的爱抚和肉体的纠缠
and multiple orgasms for me, of course,
当然还有我的多次高♥潮♥之前
there's something I got to tell you.
我有点事要告诉你
What?
什么事
What? What is it now?
什么 现在要说什么
I know. You're a heroin addict.
我知道 你是个瘾君子
You have terminal hemorrhoids, right?
你有晚期痔疮 对吗
I mean, nothing would surprise me at this point.
这个时候 什么都不会让我吃惊了
Come on.
说吧
What is it?
什么事
Ah, nothing?
还是不行
Nope.
不行
Not a twitch.
动都没动
I even tossed his salad for a second or three.
我甚至还使劲摇晃了一会
Kid lives for fucking ass play.
这孩子生就一副操屁♥眼♥的命
Ugh! You think this is maybe psychological?
你觉得这可能是心理问题吗
I don't know.
我不知道
All I know is that it was like sucking on a little hotdog
我就觉得像在吸一根裹着包皮的
wrapped in foreskin.
小热狗
And the more I sucked, the smaller it got.
我越吸 它越小
It felt wrong, like I was blowing a baby.
这感觉不对劲 好像我在给一个婴儿吹♥箫♥
A big, bald, unemployable baby.
一个大个 秃头 失业的婴儿
Look at the four of us.
看看我们四个人
Ain't love fucking grand? Huh?
爱的力量是不是很伟大
How'd she take it?
她什么反应
I was just about to lay it on her
我正准备和她说
when you sulked into the room
你们就冲进来
with all your broken weiner sadness.
说你那根破香肠的悲剧
Oh, right. Sorry about that.
好吧 对不起
No, it's okay. It's probably for the best.
没事 这样可能是最好的
'Cause we surely would have made the love,
因为我们肯定会做♥爱♥
and that surely would have been spectacular,
而且很肯定很壮怀激烈
and then she surely would have been super fucking pissed
然后她肯定会大发雷霆
when she found out I allegedly fathered a son
因为她发现我可能和另一个女人
with another woman, allegedly.
有了一个自称是我儿子的人
Jesus!
天啊
It sounds uncool when I say it out loud like that.
我这么大声说出来的感觉真不好
Why? You got a son, man!
为什么 你有了儿子 老兄
Someone to carry on the moodiness for generations to come.
有人能把那份忧郁代代相传了
Doesn't that feel amazing? Not really.
这感觉不赞吗 不怎么样
The kid's kind of annoying.
那孩子有点招人烦
I mean, super fucking annoying
我是说 非常招人烦
like he should be your son and not mine.
感觉他该是你儿子而不是我儿子
See, the little fucker keeps trying to Facetime me.
看到没 这小混♥蛋♥一直想跟我视频
Look at that.
看看
He shall be Levon, and I shall decline that shit.
他是莱文 我就挂断
So who's the mom?
孩子他妈是谁
Oh, this woman, Julia, I was seeing at the time.
那个女人叫朱莉娅 我那时约会过
Wanted to be an actress. She was gorgeous.
她想当演员 长得很正
We had a lot of fun. In and out of the boudoir.
我们那时非常开心 频繁出入她的闺房♥
I remember that.
这点我记得
And then I met and quickly impregnated Karen,
然后我遇见了凯伦而且她很快怀上了
and that, as they say, was that.
他们的版本是这样
By the way, what the fuck are you doing here?
还有 你♥他♥妈♥来这干什么
I wanted to make sure you showed up for work, you know,
我要确认你来工作了
on time, reasonably sober.
准时到岗 神志清醒
You're gonna be pulling in a weekly salary now.
你现在每周都有收入了
15% of your weekly is my weekly.
你周薪的百分之十五是我的
15%? I thought you got 10.
百分之十五 我记得是十
Mm-mm. Managers take 15.
经理拿十五
Oh, so you're my manager now? What's the difference?
所以你现在是我的经理了 有什么区别
5%.
百分之五
That is fucking pathetic, Charlie.
真♥他♥妈♥的可悲 查理
Maybe you should think about getting some other clients.
也许你该想想找其他客户
Yeah, well, that's the other reason I'm here.
是啊 这是我来这儿的另一个理由
Okay. Let me look at you.
好吧 让我看看你
Let me drink you in, big boy.
好好看看你 大男孩
So what if you got a dysfunctional dong?
要是你的老二有毛病该怎么办
So what if your cock is but a vestigial organ?
要是你的老二退化了该怎么办
You're still a fucking shark!
你♥他♥妈♥的还是条汉子
Let's do this! No!
我们大干一场吧 不要
No what?
不要什么
No, this is my first day of work, Charlie, not yours.
今天是我第一天上班 查理 不是你
Mine. I can't let you fuck my shit up.
我的一天不能让你搞砸了
加州靡情（2007）
Californication
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