马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S01E02

Part 3 Feb. 11, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

这是典型的好莱坞式优越感
This is classic Hollywood elitism.
马男波杰克觉得因为他上了电视
BoJack Horseman thinks that because he was on TV,
他就高人一等了
that makes him better than everybody.
你猜怎么着波杰克我也上电视了
Well, guess what, BoJack, now I'm on TV,
所以现在我也高人一等了
so now I'm better than everybody!
说得对尼尔
That's right, Neal.
那盒松饼根本就不是你的你这愚蠢的海牛
You didn't even have dibs, you stupid sea cow.
你们觉得我应该打电♥话♥去澄清吗
You guys think I should call in and set the record straight?
波杰克这些人就是靠别人的矛盾过活的
BoJack, these people feed off controversy.
如果你对此事作出回应只会...
If you dignify the story with a response, it's just gonna fan...
我现在收到了来自波杰克本人手♥机♥的电♥话♥
I'm now receiving word that we've got BoJack himself on the phone.
抱歉没听你说什么
Sorry, stopped listening.
你是要说"同意"的对吧
You were ramping up to a "yes," Right?
手♥机♥来电自马男波杰克
波杰克你今天的所作所为
BoJack, what you did today
侮辱了美国的英雄
was a slap in the face of America's heroes.
你道不道歉
Will you apologize?
行了别说美国的英雄了
Okay, enough about America's heroes.
我们能谈谈那盒松饼的所属吗
Can we talk about dibs?
因为那盒松饼根本就不是他的
Because he didn't even really have dibs.
如果他真的合法拥有那盒松饼
If he had legitimate dibs...
那盒松饼就是我的
Oh, I had dibs on the muffins.
我把它们藏在农产品区了
I hid them in the produce section!
你就那样把它们随随便便放在外面
You left them totally out in the open.
那也算得上藏吗
That's hiding?
你到底是怎么在阿富汗活下来的
How did you survive in Afghanistan?
那是我的松饼
Those are my muffins!
你给我把我的松饼还回来
You give me back my muffins!
你猜怎么我没法还给你
Hey, guess what, I can't give them back
因为它们已经在我肚子里了
'cause I ate them all, okay?
兄弟
Dude.
等等我只想问清楚就这一早上
Hold on, just to be clear, since this morning,
你就把松饼都吃掉了吗
you ate all the muffins?
是的我一坐下来就把它们吃完了
Yeah, I ate them all in one sitting
因为我毫无自控能力而且我讨厌我自己
because I have no self-control and I hate myself.
别说了
你就是想听这个吗
Is that what you want to hear?
尼尔那是一小盒松饼吗
Neal, was it a small container of muffins,
里面有两到四块的那种
like two to four muffins?
不汤姆比这多多了
No, Tom, there were a good deal more than that.
你还记得里面到底有几块松饼吗
Can you remember exactly how many muffins were in the box?
里面有十二块
Yeah, there were exactly 12!
我吃了12快松饼虽然我一块都不想要
I ate 12 muffins, and I didn't even want one!
你们想听的新闻老子赏你们了
There's your goddamn news story,
就是我他妈是如何失去自尊的
the mystery of my missing goddamn self-respect!
我表现如何
How'd I come off?
情况本来可以更糟糕呢
Well, that went slightly better than the worst
但是没那么糟糕所以要庆祝吗
it could have possibly gone, so hooray?
这事其实跟松饼没关系
It's not even about the muffins.
大家只是想看我出丑
Everyone is just out to get me
因为我很有名而且适应性很强
because I'm famous and so well-adjusted.
至少你还有隐私
Well, at least you've got some privacy.
我男朋友在我们家拍真人秀
My boyfriend's filming a reality show at our house.
我要是想独处必须去屋顶
If I want to be alone, I have to go to the roof
因为只有屋顶没办法拍摄
because it's the only place they don't have insurance to film.
你会去屋顶吗
You go on the roof?
对去做点工作
Yeah, just to get some work done.
会很奇怪吗
Is that really weird?
不会啊很可爱
No, it's adorable.
我小时候经常跟我爸爸爬上屋顶
When I was a kid, I used to climb onto the roof
然后一起看星星
with my dad and look at the stars.
你呢
What about you?
你跟你♥爸♥爸关系好吗
Were you close with your father?
爸爸
父亲节快乐爸爸
Happy Father's Day, Daddy.
这是什么青豆角吗
What is this supposed to be, a lima bean?
是心
It's a heart.
儿子你这技术也太差了
That's some shoddy craftsmanship, son.
-我尽力了 -尽力个屁
- I tried my best. - No, you didn't.
你绝对是偷懒了
You slacked off and took the easy way out.
在这个世上
In this world, you can either
办事情一旦偷懒就绝对做不好
do things the easy way or the right way.
假如从这里坐船去纽约
You take a boat from here to New York,
你是要像英雄一样环绕好望角呢
you gonna go around the horn like a gentleman
还是像民♥主♥党一样从巴拿马运河穿过去
or cut through the Panama Canal like some kind of democrat?
走运河吧
Um, the canal?
要按上帝的旨意走好望角
You go around the horn the way God intended!
很平淡
Uneventful.
-什么 -什么什么
- What? - What?
我问你跟爸爸关系好吗
I asked if you were close with your father,
你沉默着坐了五分钟
and you sat here in silence for five minutes
然后说了一句 "很平淡"
and then said, "Uneventful."
其实吧我们的对话很好
You know what, this is a really good conversation,
我非常想继续下去
and I definitely want to keep having it,
但我老是会想到松饼的事
but I just keep thinking about the muffins thing,
所以我们可以先暂停一下
so maybe we could put a pin in this
别再继续解剖我的过去了
thorough deconstruction of my past,
这样我就可以把另一件事
so I can put that other thing
重新放回记忆深处而不...
to bed before it spirals out of con...
新闻速递松饼之争
我有优先权
I had dibs!
-那些松饼是我先选的 -你的权利无效
- My dibs were on those muffins! - Your dibs were void!
我在阿富汗当兵一年保家卫国
I spent a year in Afghanistan making America safer,
这就是我的回报吗
and this is the thanks I get?
是吗保家卫国全靠你吗
Really, you, specifically, made America safer?
新闻速递松饼之争
波杰克你自己也同意吧
Well, BoJack, surely, even you would agree
军人是英雄
that the troops are heroes.
我不同意
I don't agree to that.
也许有些军人是英雄但并不绝对
Maybe some of the troops are heroes but not automatically.
我觉得很多军人都是混♥蛋♥
I'm sure a lot of the troops are jerks.
很多人本来就是混♥蛋♥
Most people are jerks already,
给他一把枪告诉他
and it's not like giving a jerk a gun and telling him
你可以去杀人了
it's okay to kill people
然后混♥蛋♥就变成英雄了吗
suddenly turns that jerk into a hero.
怎么了
What?
新闻速递松饼之争
你刚刚是说军人都是混♥蛋♥吗
Did you just say you think the troops are jerks?
你果然曲解了我的意思
Oh, you took that the bad way, didn't you?
重大新闻
我觉得很多军人都是混♥蛋♥
I'm sure a lot of the troops are jerks.
不不不
No, no, no.
新闻速递松饼之争
-军人是混♥蛋♥吗 -天哪
- The troops are jerks? - Oh, God.
波杰克披露: 恨军人很久了
很多人本来就是混♥蛋♥
Most people are jerks already,
给他一把枪...
and it's not like giving a jerk a gun...
喂
Hello?
卡洛琳公主要立刻跟你说话
Princess Carolyn needs to talk to you immediately.
好让她接吧
Great, put her on.
其实她刚开完会出来
She's actually just getting out of a meeting.
-你能等一下吗 -是你打给我的
- Can you hold for a sec? - You called me.
等了快一个小时后
-波杰克 -在
- BoJack. - Ah!
我跟你直说吧亲爱的
I'm gonna level with you, honey.
你搞出讨厌军人这一出可不太好
This whole you hating the troops thing is not great.
我不讨厌军人
I don't hate the troops.
我只是讨厌一个军人其实也没那么讨厌
I just hate one specific troop. I don't even hate him, really.
我只是觉得他在松饼事件上做错了
I just think that he's wrong about the muffins.
我知道波杰克你总是这样
I know, BoJack... just like always,
总是你对别人都错
you're right, and everyone else is wrong.
但如果你不放下身段
But if you don't swallow your pride,
这事是不会过去的
this is never gonna let up.
-我知道你很固执 -我不固执
- I know you're stubborn... - I'm not stubborn.
-我只是很自傲 -差不多
- I'm proud. - That's kind of the same thing.