马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S01E06

Part 2 Feb. 11, 2020, 1:26 p.m.

我更不累
I'm twice as not tired.
一系列愚蠢又越来越小气的挑战之后
或者是D 性♥爱♥和糖
Or D, sex and candy?
未知号♥码
波杰克
BoJack!
陶德你丫跑哪去了
Todd, where the hell have you been?
我从机场拼车回的家
I had to carpool home from the airport
简直像个环保主义者
like a goddamn environmentalist.
对不起但我在牢里兄弟
I'm sorry, but I'm in jail, dude.
那你找对人了我需要你的帮助
Well, you called the right person, because I need your help
你是我的场外求助人
and you're my phone-a-friend.
玛丽·居里赢过诺贝尔的哪两项科学奖
Marie Curie won Nobel prizes in which two sciences?
A 化学和物理
A, chemistry and physics.
-B 生物和物理 -B 答案是B
- B, biology and physics... - Oh, B! The answer's B!
-是A -可恶陶德
- It's A! - Damn it, Todd!
这可事关生死
This was life or death.
我也是啊保释金是五十块
Same with me. The bail's set at 50 bucks.
我在这里等...
I'll be here wai...
太棒了我是游戏冠军
Yes! I am the champion of the games!
你看到了吗戴安
Did you see that, Diane?
戴安
Diane?
你赢了老朋友
You win, old friend.
我先失陪了
Now if you'll excuse me,
要送女朋友回房♥间睡觉
I'm going to take my girlfriend to bed.
居然还在外面
We're still out?
晚安波杰克
Night, BoJack.
晚安戴安
Good night, Diane.
给我来瓶酒忘记忧与愁
Give me a bottle of something to help me forget my problems.
不用这么烈
Ooh, maybe not that strong.
这是啥白开水吗
What is this, breakfast?
这瓶还差不多
Yeah, that's about right.
苦艾酒
非常有效果
Well, that worked effectively.
好莱坞变成了"好莱乌"
It's a Holly-who-done-it
因为好莱坞的英文拼写D被偷了
as police are scrambling to figure out
警♥察♥正在全力查明凶手身份
who stole the D from the famed Hollywood sign.
-"好莱什么" -好莱坞所有人员
- Holly-what? - All of Tinseltown's
都在高度警戒直到被偷走的D
at DEFCON 5 until their diabolically displaced D
重回原来的位置
is demonstrably displayed once more.
可以不用这么押韵的
Can we cool it with the alliteration?
这稿子谁写的兰迪就是你吧
Who wrote this copy? Randy, looking at you.
真奇怪
Weird.
更奇怪了
Weirder.
我为什么要偷一个巨大的D回来
Why the hell would I steal a giant D?
有人吗我是戴安
Ding-dong! It's Diane.
我了个去
D... D... Damn!
同时当地负责人
Meanwhile, local authorities
已经在着手调查几名嫌疑人
are already investigating several suspects.
大卫·杜楚尼迪克·凡·戴克 DMX
David Duchovny, Dick Van Dyke, DMX,
以及丁安·库克众所周知的大盗
and of course Dane Cook, who we all know is a thief.
你好啊大...大清早就来啦
Hey, D-voted memoirist.
我今天没法弄书的事生病了咳嗽
I can't work on the book today. Too ill. Cough.
你是生病还是宿醉
Are you ill, or hung-over?
因为你并没有咳出声而是说了一句咳嗽
Because instead of coughing you just said the word cough.
再说你昨晚给我留了一条很长的醉酒留言
Plus you left me a long, drunken voicemail last night.
很糟糕吗
Ooh, was it bad?
主要是喘息声
It was mostly a lot of wheezing,
好像你在攀爬什么东西一样
as if you were climbing something,
然后就是螺丝金属摩擦的声响
followed by the sounds of dismantling metal,
之后是你拽着什么东西的粗喘声
and then grunting like you were dragging something heavy
大概走了几公里吧
at least a few miles.
我没说什么关于犯罪的话吧
I didn't say anything incriminating, did I?
你这话就挺令人误会的不过没有
As incriminating as that question? No.
那就好我定个规矩
Good. Well, just as a general rule,
以后这些留言你就不用听了
you probably shouldn't be listening
尤其是在...
to any voicemails I leave after...
-我一般什么时候开始喝酒 -中午吗
- What time do I start drinking? - Noon?
-对回见 -可是我们约好了呀
- Yup. See you later. - But we had an appointment.
怎么不就是演员爽约嘛
What's that? An actor flaking on an obligation?
-好莱坞就这样 -现在是"好莱乌"了
- Welcome to Hollywood. - I think you mean Hollywoo.
你看新闻了吗有人把英文中的D给偷了
Did you see? Someone stole the D off the sign.
咳嗽咳嗽咳嗽咳嗽咳嗽
Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.
咳嗽咳嗽咳嗽咳嗽我关门了
Cough, cough, cough, cough, door slam.
怎么了波杰克
What is it, BoJack?
我今天快忙死了
You know, I'm tied up with all my Deans today.
凯恩诺里斯温特斯昆茨
Kane, Norris, Winters, and Koontz,
都被警方询问了
all being questioned by police.
是我♥干♥的我偷的
It was me. I stole the D.
-什么 -经纪人快出马
- What? - Now be a good agent
帮我把这件事摆平
and make this not my problem.
你到底是怎么...
How did you even... ?
你惹的麻烦跟你做的工作简直是五比一
You know, your scandal-to-work ratio is, like, five to one.
我得赶在戴安看到之前弄走它
Look, I need to get rid of this before Diane sees it.
这事关戴安什么事... 我去
Why do you care if Dia... Oh, fish.
你是喜欢上给你写自传的人了吗
Are you in love with your biographer?
什么
What?
什么
What?
别逗了
Get out of here.
你偷走D是为了戴安简直了
You stole the D for Diane. Unbelievable.
这也说不好可能是为了大卫
Yeah, I don't know. The D might be for David,
因为我似乎在喝醉之后
because apparently when I was drunk,
打印了很多大卫·伯伦纳兹的照片[好莱坞著名男演员]
I printed out a bunch of pictures of David Boreanaz.
对确实是你打印的
Yeah. You did that.
我可以尽量帮你争取时间
Look, I'll keep your little crush busy long enough
你赶紧把罪证弄走
for you to get rid of the contraband,
不过之后我要参加的三场婚礼
but the next three weddings I'm invited to,
你得给我当男伴笨蛋
you're my date, dummy.
你这种年纪的女人还会被邀请参加婚礼吗
Since when to women your age get invited to weddings?
我有很多侄子侄女
I have a lot of nieces and nephews!
本事挺大啊大变♥态♥
Well, you pulled it off, you deviant.
懂吗 da变♥态♥
Get it? D-viant?
懂
I got it.
你说说你想怎么做一条巨大的手链
Tell me, how are you gonna complete your giant bracelet?
再从道奇球场拆铁链子过来吗
With the chain-link fence from Dodger's Stadium?
不会你怎么知道是我♥干♥的
No. How'd you figure out it was me?
我怎么知道的我只是查了线索
Oh, how did I figure it out? Well, I just followed the clues,
进行推理解开谜题辩证思考
used deduction, puzzle-solving, a little bit of forensics,
还干了什么来着
and also, what did I do?
对了我听了你发给我的语♥音♥留言
Oh, I listened to the voicemail you left me
说你正在为戴安偷那个D字
saying you were stealing the D because of Diane
还让我"舔你D鸡♥巴♥去吧"
so I could, and I quote, "Suck your D."
别乱发留言了好吗
Stop leaving voicemails!
承认吧你喜欢我女朋友
Admit it! You like my girlfriend.
拜托我被她吸引了吗当然
Oh, come on. I mean, am I attracted to her? Sure.
跟她在一起会比较开心吗确实
Do my days feel better when I'm around her? Yeah.
她比别的女人更懂我吗绝对的
Does she get me in ways no woman ever has? Indubitably.
我会幻想她吗会但只有两种体♥位♥
Do I fantasize about her? Yes, but only in two positions.
我是那种抢别人女朋友的人吗
Look, am I the kind of guy who would try to steal someone else's girlfriend?
当然是不过我喜欢她吗
Sure, of course, but do I like her?
当然不喜欢你不用担心
The answer's no. You have nothing to worry about.
做个交易吧
I'll cut you a deal.
我帮你处理那个D
I help you get rid of that D,
你再也不要跟戴安说话
and you never talk to Diane again.
我必须得跟她说话她要帮我写书
Well, I have to talk to her, because she's writing my book.
好吧但你不许追她
Okay, but just don't pursue her romantically?
-成交 -哈哈
- Deal. - Ha!
-我就知道你会跟我握手 -我已经后悔了
- I knew I'd get that handshake. - I regret this already.
菊花松开点妞们要脱裤子检查了
Spread them wide, ladies. This is a random cavity search.
先请我们喝一杯吧
Whoa! Buy a guy a drink first.
我们刚刚是...
Did we just say that...
异口同声了吗
at the same time?
我看到你在洗澡的时候跟克劳斯说话了