马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S01E05

Part 4 Feb. 11, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

这样的话我推荐我们的"连混♥蛋♥老爸
Might I then suggest our Piece of Shit Dad Package
都不如"套装
Would Be Too Good For Him Package.
很好就这个了
Yeah, that's the one.
很棒的选择
Excellent choice.
我能给你点建议吗
Hey, can I suggest something?
你可以稍微放松一下
You might want to loosen up a little.
我觉得你其实可以
I think you could actually
从你兄弟身上学到点东西
learn a thing or two from your brothers.
你在跟我开玩笑吗
Are you kidding?
如果我像我兄弟那样我会一事无成
If I was like my brothers, nothing would ever get done.
我就是说说
I'm just saying,
如果你不能想方设法释放情绪的话
if you can't find a way to let off some steam
你会爆♥炸♥的
you're going to explode.
见鬼你在跟我开玩笑吗
God damn it! Are you god damn kidding me?
未知来电
我一直收到陌生人的电♥话♥
I keep getting calls from this unlisted number.
拒接都是哪里来的混♥蛋♥啊
Ignore. Who are these assholes?
你为什么不接接了不就知道了吗
Why don't you just answer, and then you'll know?
他们就喜欢这样恶作剧不是吗
Oh, they'd just love that, wouldn't they?
如果我们没法让他接电♥话♥的话
Ugh, how are we supposed to blackmail him
我们该怎么敲诈他呢
if we can't reach him?
也许我们可以到他住的地方守株待兔
Maybe we got to get him where he lives?
你是说
You mean... ?
没错他家
That's right, his house.
搞什么这是谁家
What the... Whose house is this?
那是大卫·伯伦纳兹吗
Is that David Boreanaz?
我发誓马男波杰克绝对住这里
I could've sworn BoJack Horseman lived here.
别站着不动好吗
Hey, let's keep these lines moving, huh?
你想站着不动聊聊天也行
You want to stop and chat,
那可得付延时费
you gotta pay for the extended stay ticket.
太多了太多了太多了
Ah, so much, so much, so much.
又是五千兄弟我们赚翻了
Another five Gs, T-Bag, and we are in the pink.
我不知道卡洛琳公主
I don't know, Princess Carolyn.
装钱的鞋盒子我都用完了
I ran out of shoeboxes for the money,
钱数我也算着算着就晕了
and the books aren't adding up.
还有男厕需要找人清理
Plus the men's lav needs to be serviced,
我还得炒了礼品店的亚尼内
and I had to fire Janine in the gift shop
因为她偷店里的人偶玩具
for stealing Boreabble heads.
我怎么有这么多事要做啊
I mean, how did I end up with all this responsibility?
我可不是在跟你闹着玩儿小子
Hey, I'm not screwing around here, small fry.
你最好给我把账好好做出来
You better make those numbers sing.
我觉得我们用的那些海外银行
I don't think these offshore banks
好像不是完全合法
we've been using are 100% legal.
我妈跟我说绝对不要去扇一个傻子
Yeah, well, my mother told me never to slap an idiot.
什么好疼
What? Ow!
现在我们都违反规矩了
Now we're both breaking the rules.
你给我听着好好听着
You listen, and you listen good.
自从伯伦纳兹之家向公众开放
I've gotten used to a certain lifestyle
我就已经习惯了某种生活方式了
since Boreanaz House went public,
我才不会重回以前的生活
and I'm not going back to the old way.
妈咪喜欢她现在的鞋子知道吗
Mommy likes her shoes, see?
也喜欢她戴的珍珠项链
And her pearls.
我陷得太深了
Oh, I'm in too deep.
这可如何是好啊
I don't know what to do.
我来告诉你该怎么办
I'll tell you what you should do.
谁在说话
Who said that?
是我大卫·伯伦纳兹
It's me, David Boreanaz.
大卫·伯伦纳兹说话是这个声音吗
Is that what David Boreanaz sounds like?
当然了
Uh, sure.
我给你几条建议吧
Let me give you some advice.
正如我演的剧中说的
As we say on my show...
哪部剧来着《杰西驾到》
I want to say, New Girl?
尽管继续做你正在做的吧不会有事的
just keep doing what you're doing, and you'll be fine.
谢谢你大卫·伯
Wow, thanks, Davie B.
别这么叫我
Never call me that.
玛戈特家族殡仪馆
难以置信
Unbelievable.
已经四点了应该不会有人来了
It's 4:00. I don't think anyone's coming.
真♥他♥妈♥的难以置信
Un-the-God-damn-believable
那些混♥蛋♥只要出现就行了
All those jerk wads had to do was show up,
可他们连这点都做不到
and they couldn't even do that.
尸体哪里去了
Where's the body even?
不好意思出了点小问题
Beg your pardon, minor hiccup.
我的人去搬你父亲的尸体时没人在家
My goons went to pick your father up, but nobody was home.
为了象征性收一下费
For a nominal fee,
我们可以帮你找具其他人的尸体用
we can scrounge up another body for you.
你想看一下我们的借用细则吗
Would you care to peruse our loaner closet?
混♥蛋♥们你们去哪里了
Hey, assholes! Where were you?
葬礼我都按照你们说的准备好了
I planned the whole funeral, like you asked me to,
可根本没人来
and nobody showed.
我们后来意识到爸爸不想要什么无聊的葬礼
Yeah, we realized dad wouldn't have wanted some stuffy funeral.
他会想让自己的尸体被切成肉末
He would've wanted his body to be chopped up into chum
然后扔到德瑞克·基特那张肥脸上
and thrown in Derek Jeter's fat face.
德瑞克·基特著名棒球运动员
对去死吧基特
Yeah, suck it, Jeter!
等等什么你们说爸爸在哪里
Wait, what? Where is Dad?
我们把他切碎了就在卡车上
We got him chummed. He's in the truck.
阮氏碎肉末
你们把爸爸切碎了吗
You chummed Dad?
你父亲就想这样亲爱的
It's what your father wanted, honey,
你什么都不知道对吧
but then you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
所以是这么回事
Let me get this straight.
你们没去我花了钱
So instead of coming to the funeral
准备了一整天的葬礼
that I paid for and spent all day organizing,
反而把爸爸的尸体碾成了渣渣
you had Dad's body ground into chum,
然后你们去给扔到德瑞克·基特身上吗
so you could throw his mushy remains on Derek Jeter?
不不是扔到他身上
No, not just on Derek Jeter.
我们一定要扔到他那张肥脸上
We're gonna throw it into his fat face.
-对他那张肥脸上 -扔他一脸
- Yeah, his fat face. - In his fat face.
洋基队这周来镇上
The Yankees are in town this week.
高手要对决了滴滴
The planets are aligning, Deedee.
汤米是你求我留下帮忙的
Tommy, you begged me to stay and help.
为什么一切总要围着大明星戴安转
Why does everything always got to be about big-shot Diane?
家里容不下你这尊大佛
Too good for her home.
我可不觉得自己家容不下我
I don't think I'm too good for my home.
各位你们都错了
Yeah, guys, you got it all wrong.
戴安不是大明星她是我的枪手
Diane isn't a big-shot. She's my ghostwriter.
她在写一本连自己名字都不会出现在上面的书
She's writing a book that's not even gonna have her name on it.
你们以为这是她期望的
You think this is how she expected
34岁时的人生吗
her life would be going at 34?
她跟她有钱的男朋友一起住房♥租都不用付
She lives with her rich boyfriend and doesn't pay rent.
根本不是哪里容不下她
She's not too good for anything.
什么
What?
戴安吃白食吗
Diane's a freeloader?
连我我付房♥租好吗
Even I pay rent.
波杰克帮你了吧
BoJack helping?
这就是为什么我让你在车里等我
This is why I told you to wait in the car!
她发狂了
Oh, she snapped.
嚎叫的戴安来了
Here comes Cryane.
滴滴不要这样
Hey, hey, Deedee, come on.
戴安不要再当众出丑了
Diane, you are making a public spectacle of yourself.
滴滴你拿着爸爸的钥匙干什么
Deedee, what are you doing with Dad's keys?
放回去
Put those back.
不要那是爸爸的卡车
Oh, come on, that's Dad's truck.
爸爸尸体的碎末在后面呢
Dad's chum is in the back.
不不要啊
No! No, no, no!
舔鸡♥巴♥去吧蠢逼
Suck a dick, dumb shits!
那个疯子竟然把爸爸带走了
Well, that crazy clam did it. She took Pops.
不这下该怎么办啊
Oh, no, what are we gonna do?
三分钟后
投手一记高弹跳球球便轻松投出
And it's a one-hopper back to the pitcher. Easy out at first.
我们就什么都不做吗
So what we're gonna do is nothing?
红袜队上场了我还没看过这场比赛呢