马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S01E01

Part 3 Feb. 11, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

这里一秒前不是还有块披萨的吗
Wasn't there a pizza here a second ago?
天呐别给我压力
God damn it! Stop the presses.
你一点都不胖
You're not fat.
我们来办个派对吧让你振作一下
Oh, hey, let's throw a party. That'll cheer you up.
那只会让你振奋
No, it won't. It'll cheer you up.
我只会一个人默默蹲在墙角
I'll stand in the corner by myself
吃棉花糖吃到吐
eating cotton candy until I barf
就像你上次办的那个派对那样
like I did at your last party.
你不就是《胡闹的小马》里面那匹马吗
Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around?
那个派对真心很不错
That was a good party.
我们上次不是还准备了一个棉花糖机吗
Hey, didn't we get a cotton candy machine for that party?
谁告诉你我和卡洛琳公主分手了的
Who told you Princess Carolyn and I broke up?
-她告诉我的 -什么
- She did. - What?
你根本没送我回家混♥蛋♥
You never took me home, jerk!
所以一切都是我的错咯
Oh, everything's my fault.
带我回家
Take me home.
好老天
Okay, jeez.
但我不会把车停在银湖
But I'm not looking for parking in Silver Lake.
我会把车子车速降到最低
I'll slow the car down to a crawl,
然后你就可以从车上跳下去了
and you can duck and roll.
你知道吗你可以最后看一眼这张脸
You know what, you can take a last look at this face,
因为你以后再也见不到它了
because it's the last time you're gonna see it.
去吧皮卡丘
Hey-up!
你好
Hello?
为您转接卡洛琳公主
I've got Princess Carolyn for you.
好的
Uh, okay.
波杰克
BoJack.
天呐我们刚分手
Oh, my God, we just broke up.
是啊但我还是你的经纪人
Yeah, but I'm still your agent.
我一向是个公私分明的人
I pride myself on my ability
对此我非常自豪
to separate my professional life from my personal life.
不错
Great.
作为我的经纪人你觉得我长胖了吗
Then, as my agent, do you think I'm getting fat?
不可能
No way.
你正处于人生的黄金时期颜的巅峰
You are in the prime of your life, never looked better.
那作为我的前女友你怎么看
What about as my ex-girlfriend?
你就像是一坨屎吃着另一坨屎
You look like a pile of crap ate a second pile of crap
吃完还拉出了一坨屎
and then crapped out a third pile of crap.
等等那我看起来到底像哪一坨屎
Wait, wait, so which pile of crap do I look like?
-第三坨 -什么那坨最丑了
- The third one. - What? That's the worst one.
我可不是以你前女友的身份给你打电♥话♥
I'm not calling you as your ex.
我现在是你的经纪人
I'm calling you as your agent.
你还记得那本你一直装作在写的书吗
Remember that book you're pretending to write?
企鹅想知道你有什么最新进展
Well, Penguin wants an update on your progress.
周二交稿行不行
Does Tuesday work for you,
还是说你这周会忙于
or are you gonna be too busy this week
对着自己的照片撸管无暇写书
masturbating to old pictures of yourself?
我说过了那次不是你想的那样
I told you, that's not what was happening that time.
我撸管的对象是那张照片所代表的东西
I was masturbating to what the picture represented.
是你走进来的时机不对
You walked in at the worst possible moment!
那就定在周二了
So, Tuesday, though?
好
Yes, fine!
企鹅出版社
你又什么都没写
You don't have anything?
你这里来电了啊恭喜恭喜
Hey, you got the electricity back. Good for you.
这公♥司♥都快破产了
This company is in dire straits.
我们所做的一系列投资都失败了
We made a series of very bad investments.
你有没有听过一个叫马里布沼泽怪兽的
Ever hear of a young adult franchise
青少年最喜欢的玩具
called the Swamp Monsters of Malibu?
没有
Uh, no.
那为什么我们花了两千万做营销啊苍天
Then why did we spend $20 million on marketing?
没事的钱钱们高兴去哪儿就去吧
It's okay, Pinky, go to your happy place.
我知道你是个大忙人
Look, I know you're a busy guy.
是的我就是个大忙人
Actually, I am a busy guy.
我有着非常积极的生活方式
I live a very active lifestyle.
我就不能和你一起待在家里吗
Can't I just stay home with you?
我知道幼儿园很吓人
I know kindergarten is scary,
但你是个大姑娘了
but you're a big girl now,
你得勇敢一点
and you have to be brave.
好的爸爸
Okay, Daddy.
等等你刚才是叫我爸爸吗
Wait, did you just call me "Daddy"?
我们看着小塞布丽娜长大了对吧陶德
Little Sabrina grew up right before our eyes, right, Todd?
陶德
Todd?
陶德
Todd!
干什么
What?
我们是不是看着塞布丽娜长大的
Did Sabrina grow up before our eyes?
是的
Yes!
我们不想再等下去了
We're tired of waiting.
我们给你找了个枪手
We're hiring you a ghostwriter.
戴安·阮
Diane Nguyen?
戴安·阮
作家
她很棒而且她对马很感兴趣
She's great, and she's got a thing for horses.
看这个
Check this out.
《一代骄马》
Hey, Secretariat.
《一代骄马》
戴安·阮
我一直想在电影里演一个运动员呢
You know, I always wanted to play Secretariat in a movie.
他是我偶像
He's kind of my personal hero.
但我这个愿望一直没有达成
Could never get the project off the ground, though.
90年代我差点就要实现这个愿望了
I mean, there was this one time I came close in the '90s,
结果关于普雷方丹的电影面世了
but then those Prefontaine movies came out,
人们看腻了银屏上的赛跑
and people got tired of seeing running on-screen.
跟我说有什么用跟她说
Don't tell me. Tell her!
她长得挺可爱
She's cute.
给她打电♥话♥ 那是借的
Call her. That's a loan, by the way.
公♥司♥财政负担不起免费发书的活动了
We can't afford to be giving out free books to people,
但是沼泽怪兽那个箱子里面的
but you can take anything you want
你想要什么都可以随便拿
from the Swamp Monsters swag box.
马里布沼泽怪兽
天呐我真是太失败了
Oh, God, I'm a failure.
你一点都不失败
Oh, you're not a failure.
我怎么会说我能写书呢
Why did I say I could write a book?
因为你有很多传奇的故事可以写
Because you have an amazing story to tell.
-放松啦 -放松
- Relax. - Relax?
你说得简单小嬉皮
Easy for you to say, you hippie.
你这辈子就不知道压力两个字怎么写
You've never had a day of stress in your life.
为什么打我
Why?
想在垄断集团的地盘上卖♥♥摇♥头♥丸♥ 你找打
And that's for trying to sell E on the cartel's turf.
加布里埃拉呢
Where's Gabriela?
她回墨西哥城去了
She went back to Mexico City, ese,
她去找她老公了
to be with her husband.
什么不
What? No!
-加布里埃拉为什么 -谁
- Gabriela, why? - Who?
我们在谈我的事呢
We were talking about me.
你就不能专心点吗一秒也好
Can you try to focus for, like, a second?
抱歉你刚才在说什么
Oh, yeah, sorry. You were saying?
我就不该签写书的这份合同
Never should have signed this book deal.
你知道我的问题在哪里吗
You know what my problem is?
我没法拒绝别人
I can't say no to people
因为我想要所有人都喜欢我
because I want everyone to like me.
你想要所有人都喜欢你
You want everyone to like you?
是啊怎么了
Yeah, why?
难道大家不喜欢我吗
Do people not like me?
十分钟后
我们刚才在说什么来着
What were we talking about?
我想到标题了
I can see the headline now,
蠢货波杰克写了本关于他无聊生活的蠢书
"Stupid BoJack writes a stupid book about his stupid life,
根本没人关心
nobody cares."
你到底看的什么报纸
What newspapers are you reading?
你不如就让那个女士帮你写
Hey, why don't you just let that lady
这事不就结了吗
write your book and be done with it?
我更想要问的是你为什么在我厨房♥里
Better question, why are you in my kitchen?
我在做早餐