马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S01E05

Part 3 Feb. 11, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

结果你就是这样做的吗
Is this really... what are you doing?
今天真是陶德手♥机♥的好日子
It's a great day on Todd's phone.
请问你有什么事吗
How can I help you?
你是想撇开我自己做大卫·伯伦纳兹的生意吗
Are you trying to cut me out of this David Boreanaz deal?
我是你的经纪人见鬼
I'm your agent, damn it.
你怎么知道伯伦纳兹房♥子的事的
How'd you find out about Boreanaz House?
别担心我不会在你干活的时候
Don't worry, I'm not just gonna sit here
干坐在这里追毛线球玩的
batting a ball of yarn around while you do the real work.
我想让你这笔生意升级
I want to take your project to the next level.
我们得做强做大
We need to go bigger.
你有想过把米娜·古妮丝也扯进来吗
Have you thought about attaching Mila Kunis to this thing?
把她扯进来怎么做
Attach her? How?
你做好你的事剩下的交给我
You do your job. I'll do mine.
这是谁啊
Who is this?
没有新组合了现在我无聊了
Ah, out of combinations. Now I'm bored.
戴安
Diane!
-你什么都没给我看 -你想要什么
- You show me nothing... - What do you want from me?
你无权在五年后再次闯进这里
You have no right to barge in here after five years
对我们指手画脚戴安
and judge us, Diane.
我只是让马蒂帮一下忙
I'm just saying Marty could lend a hand
而不是整天坐在沙发上看球赛
instead of sitting on the couch watching the game all day.
滴滴
Ah, Deedee.
你非常清楚从上次采石场的意外后
You know very well his leg's still sore
他的腿一直不好使
from the accident at the quarry.
如果他想当布鲁克林旋风的
Yeah, he's got to rest up
外接手的话是得好好休息
if he's gonna be a wide receiver for B.C.
他没能入选布鲁克林旋风
He didn't get into B.C.
为什么非得从沙发上起身
Ah, what's the point of getting off the couch anyway?
当今什么事都让移♥民♥做了
All the jobs are going to immigrants these days.
你... 我们就是移♥民♥
What do you... We're immigrants.
-你怎么知道的 -我们是越南人
- How do you figure? - We're Vietnamese?
去死我们绝对是美国人
Step off! We're American as fuck.
你总是说这种屁话...
And that's the same crap you always pull...
你到底想要什么说吧
What do you want from me? Come on!
打扰了
Excuse me.
你们好我是来找戴安的
Yes, hello, I'm looking for Diane.
这里有人会说英语吗
Does anyone here speak English?
把车开到路边停好
Pull over and park the car.
这蠢马是《胡闹的小马》里面那货吗
Is that the frickin' horse from Horsin' Around?
再问一次这里有人会说英语吗
Again, does anyone here speak English?
-不会吧 -什么
- Oh, no way... - What?
电视明星
A TV star!
伯伦纳兹的家
伯伦纳兹家
Boreanaz house.
每人75 老人小孩免费
Seventy-five each. Children and seniors free.
请站在线后
Please stay behind the ropes
管好您的手和随身物品
and keep your hands and belongings on your person at all times.
接下来我们去厨房♥ 那是米娜·古妮丝吗
Next we'll head to the kitchen where... Is that Mila Kunis?
请注意所有擦手巾和麻布上都印有B.H.
Note the letters B.H. on all hand towels and linens.
那表示的是伯伦纳兹的家
That stands for "Boreanaz House."
你们收尸吗
Yeah, do you pick up bodies?
你们提供这种服务吗搬运尸体
Is that a service you provide? Corpse removal?
波杰克你见过什么波士顿的名人吗
Hey, BoJack, you ever meet any Boston celebrities?
有一次在布里斯托尔农场
Well, one time at Bristol Farms,
本·阿弗莱克和我看上了同一串葡萄
Ben Affleck and I did reach for the same bunch of grapes.
他也和我们一样吃葡萄吗
Oh, he eats grapes just like us?
妈本·阿弗莱克也吃葡萄呢
Hey, Ma, Ben Affleck eats grapes.
他才不吃葡萄
He don't eat grapes!
波杰克说他喂阿弗莱克吃了葡萄
BoJack said he fed Affleck grapes.
他和超胆侠[本·阿弗莱克饰演]一起吃葡萄
He was graping it up with the Daredevil himself.
这是我人生中最棒的一天了
This is the greatest day of my life.
我觉得你们应该不会愿意等下一起玩
Hey, I don't suppose you boys would have any interest
触身式橄榄球吧
in maybe playing some touch football later?
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding?
和你这样的大明星一起玩触身式橄榄球
Touch football with a star like you?
这个世界简直是疯了
That would be mad wicked pisser.
你知道我们还要做什么吗
Ooh, you know what else we got to do?
我们还要看克莱恩录像呢
We got to watch the Cryane video.
听起来很不错呢那是什么
Ooh, that sounds good. What's that?
不我们不要再看一次了
No, we don't need to revisit that.
滴滴十六岁的时候
When Deedee was 16,
我们给她编造了一个叫列奥的秘密笔友
we made up a secret pen pal for her named Leo.
兄弟们我真的不希望提这事儿
Guys, I really would rather not discuss it.
我们轮流给她写信
We all took turns writing her letters,
假装自己是那个敏感的剑桥男孩
pretending to be this sensitive boy from Cambridge.
简直是一团糟
It was wicked messed up.
"戴安我们是两颗被误解的心灵
"Oh, Diane, we're two misunderstood souls.
其他所有人都是骗子
Everyone else is a phony.
你永远的列奥"
Yours forever, Leo."
什么太惊人了
What? That is amazing.
通了半年的信后
After six months of letters,
我们雇了一个流浪汉假装列奥
we hired a homeless guy to pretend to be Leo
带她去参加返校舞会
and take her to the homecoming dance.
-看她啊 -快看看这部分
- Look at her. - Watch, watch this part.
我喜欢你领子上的花
I like your boutonniere.
为什么我们每天都要看这个
Why don't we watch this every day?
-快看她的脸 -这可真是黑历史啊
- Look at her face. - Now that's a good prank.
我受到了侮辱
I was humiliated.
是啊你不会懂的
Yeah, you wouldn't get it.
这是兄弟之间的事儿对吧兄弟们
It's a brothers thing, right, brothers?
这就是你的克莱恩
That's Cryane for you.
多可爱
What a pussy.
你知道吗若干年后
You know, it's nice that years later
我们还能一起对着这个发笑真是太棒了
we can all laugh about this.
我的治疗师也是这样觉得的
Yep, my therapist thinks the same thing.
我得去见一下葬礼指导了
I'm gonna go meet with the funeral director.
你们有人想和我一起去吗
Any of you boys want to come?
不了我对殡仪馆不怎么感兴趣滴滴
Nah, I ain't so big on funeral homes, Deedee.
那些尸体让我神经过敏
All them dead bodies, they give me the jeebies.
是啊滴滴我们为什么非得去呢
Yeah, Deedee, why do we got to go?
行你们谁都不用去
Fine, none of you have to go.
我会搞定一切的
I'll take care of everything.
谢谢戴安非常感谢
Thank you, Diane. We all really appreciate it.
来吧波杰克
Come on, BoJack.
你为什么要带波杰克和你一起
Why you got to take BoJack with you?
兄弟们你们偷走了我的心
Boys, you have stolen my heart
就好像大卫·罗伯茨偷占了二垒一样
like Dave Roberts stole second base.
他懂这些东西
Hey! He knows our things!
我得走了葬礼见好吗
I must go now, but I'll see you all at the funeral, okay?
见到你们的时候我会戳你们脸的
And when I do, you're all getting noogies.
葬礼
Funeral!
葬礼
Funeral!
葬礼
Funeral!
葬礼
Funeral!
现在为我们的铂金会员
And now, a very special treat
送上特别礼物
just for our platinum members.
让我们偷偷看一眼
Let's take a peek at the slumbering
熟睡中的伯伦纳兹先生吧
Mr. Boreanaz himself.
从我房♥间滚出去陶德
Get out of my room, Todd!
我是大卫·伯伦纳兹
I'm David Boreanaz.
我们的旅程就此结束
And thus concludes our tour.
祝大家今天愉快
Have a Boreanderful day.
玛戈特家族殡仪馆
和我说说你父亲吧
Tell me about your father.
他是一个刻薄残酷的酒鬼
Well, he was a mean, sadistic alcoholic,
他从未支持过我做的任何事情
who never supported anything I did
还特别喜欢看我失败
and actively delighted in seeing me fail.
我知道了
Hmm, I see.
看来你需要的是"混♥蛋♥老爸"套装
Sounds like you're looking for our Piece of Shit Dad Package.
我老爸配不上那个
That would be too good for my father.
我知道了
Hmm, I see.