副总统（2012）

Veep S03E08

Part 3 Oct. 12, 2020, 8:10 p.m.

你也还有欢乐的记忆
well, I guess you'll just have happy memories
可以带回——你家在哪儿？
to bring home to-- where is it?
我相信那里依然叫做白宫女士
I believe they still call it the White House, ma'am.
- 你要来我家做客？ - 做客？
- You gonna come visit me? - Visit?
- 嗯 - 我要重新装♥修♥
- Yeah. - I'm gonna redecorate.
- 哦好吧 - 抱歉打扰了女士
- Oh, okay. - Sorry to interrupt, ma'am.
说吧
You go right ahead.
谢谢我想确定你有所有
Thank you. I just wanted to make sure
关于“庇护州”的数据（保护移♥民♥、未登记人口）
that you had all the numbers on the "sanctuary states."
哦——哦对我有的有的
Oh-- oh, yes. Yes, I do. Yes.
因爲你需要所有数据不然就玩完了
Because you need them all. Otherwise you'd be screwed.
- 嗯 - 完蛋
- Yeah. - Completely.
真可爱跟我玩心理游戏
That's cute, little mind games.
女士们我正好对庇护州了如指掌
I happen to know all about sanctuary states, ladies.
一会儿见
See you later.
- All right. - Yeah.
- 我觉得我刚才 - 又抽筋了
- I think I just did-- - The twitch is back.
又抽筋了对不敢相信
The twitch is back, yeah. I cannot believe it.
别那个已经过去了你得往前看
No, that's in the past and you have to go forward.
哦天哪抽抽又回来了
Oh, my God. Twitchy is back.
- 日！ - 什麽？
- Shit! - What?
别慌
Don't sweat it.
说真的你一滴汗都不能流
You have to literally not sweat.
你可不能来尼克松那一出
You don't want to go Nixon on us.
可以侧过去抽抽微笑侧脸
You can turn sideways. Twitch, smile, turn.
- 还有三个R - 我知道三个R
- And the three Rs. - I have the three Rs.
- “改革重申创新 ” - 不 “创新”
- "Reform, reaffirm, renew." - No, "renew."
我说的就是创新
That's what I just said, renew.
她像Peter Falk一样（戴义眼的男星）
She looks like Peter Falk.
要不要来第四个R？放松
Maybe a fourth R? Maybe just "relax."
- 不要 - 副总统女士 30秒后直播
- No. - Madam Vice President, 30 seconds to air.
- 谢谢 - 抽筋真的很厉害吗？
- Thank you. - Is the twitch really bad?
对
Yes.
- Okay. - Yeah.
女士们先生们请欢迎
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
今晚辩论的辩手
the candidates for tonight's debate.
Joe Thornhill.
前国防部长George Maddox
Former Secretary of Defense George Maddox.
副总统Selina Meyer
Vice Preside Selina Meyer.
- 副总统女士 - 你好
- Madam Vice President. - How do you do?
这段最有意思
Here's my favorite part,
大家假装相亲相爱
where they all pretend like they like each other.
Danny Chung州长
Governor Danny Chung.
百老汇滚一边去这才叫表演
Fuck Broadway. This is real acting.
Owen Pierce议员
Congressman Owen Pierce.
飞吻技术高超我看他已经飞过了空气了
Nice air kiss. I think he actually missed the air.
- 欢迎各位到来 - 谢谢
- Welcome, all of you. - Thank you.
- 开始吧！ - 他竟然把水洒了
- Let's get started. - Now he spills his water!
我发誓这小子真要吓得拉裤裆了
I swear, this kid is literally gonna shit himself.
Joe Thornhill 你以前是棒球教练
Joe Thornhill, you're an ex-baseball coach.
有人说你越界了字面意义上的
People say you're way out of your league, literally.
- 你是不是应该换个场地？ - 你懂的女士……
- Shouldn't you get off the field? - You know, ma'am...
我只是个普通人
I'm just an ordinary guy
生活在真实的美国
and I live in the real America.
我也许不太懂管理国家
I may not know much about running the country,
我承认但我想告诉你们
I'll give you that. But you know what?
乔治华盛顿曾经也不懂
Neither did George Washington.
很好现在把自己比作林肯和佛祖吧
Very good. Now compare yourself to Lincoln and Buddha.
你们需要一点指导
What you need is some coaching.
而我希望做你们的教练
And I want to be your coach.
我会指导美国
I want to coach America.
如果你们选择我
And if you'll have me,
我保证
well, I guarantee you...
我们会一路凯♥旋♥ 赢得桂冠
we're going all the way to the pennant.
十分感谢
Thank you very much.
Thornhill电♥话♥调查结果非常出色
Thornhill's dial tests are off the dial.
大家爱死他了
The focus groups love him.
大衆看到认识的人就会投票
The public will vote for anybody they recognize.
“人鱼童话”的那条鲸鱼都能赢咱们
We could lose to the whale from "Free Willy."
今天我们要讨论经历
Today, we're here to talk about records.
而我的经历显示
And my record clearly shows
不像有些人我经受过考验
that unlike some of us, I have been tested.
又要讲他从着火的坦克里救人的故事了
Here comes the burning tank story where he saves the one guy
才救了一个而我们都要受虐
and the rest of us get fuckin' tortured.
……我在战场上
...when I saved my friend
从着火的坦克里
on the field of battle
救出我朋友的时候……
from a burning tank...
我没有想着自己
I wasn't thinking about myself.
我想着我的朋友
I was thinking about my friend.
我想着他的家人
I was thinking about his family.
看看他水洒得到处都是
Look at him throwing his water everywhere.
他该去给那辆着火的坦克救火
He should have been there when the tank was on fire.
天那小子怎麽自己吃饭的？
God, how does this kid feed himself?
Mike 你说Wendy会来的她在哪儿？
Mike, you said Wendy would be here. Where is she?
她不是我的狗
She's not my dog,
Amy——说起来我的狗目前身体不好
Amy-- who actually isn't very well at the moment.
我不关心那个 Mike 快让Wendy来好吗？
I don't care, Mike. Just get Wendy here, okay?
她的肛腺有点问题
She's got a problem with an anal gland.
我是说狗
I'm talking about the dog.
哦她来了嘿老大
Oh, there she is. Hey, tiger.
- 啊哈！嘿- - 那麽 Gary……
- Aha! Hey- - So, Gary...
- 跟Wendy讲讲Selina - 什麽？
- talk to Wendy about Selina. - What?
- 我们说的——那个—— - 嗨Wendy
- The thing we-- the-- - Wendy, hey.
副总统换新发型了我们很激动 Wendy
We are so excited about the Veep's new look, Wendy.
我-我们觉得很青春——显得她年轻
W-we think it's young-- makes her look younger,
- 但也符合她的年龄我觉得 - 我也很高兴见到你 Gary
- but it's age-appropriate, I feel. - Nice to see you, too, Gary.
- 嘿 - 嘿放轻松只是篇说好话的豆腐块
- Hey. - Hey, relax. It's a puff piece, all right?
我现在做时尚这块了没必要这样
I'm with "Style" section now. You don't have to do that.
嘴贱的人很多 Wendy
People are being so critical, Wendy.
我是说他们觉得她像同性恋
I mean, they think she looks like a lesbian.
艹！说错话了对不起
Shit! I didn't just say that. I'm sorry.
Gary 别这麽紧张看着
Gary, stop being so nervous. Watch me.
“哦我好喜欢你的领带 ”
"Oh, I love your tie."
看到了吗？我几乎脑死亡了不用担心
See? Basilly brain-dead. Don't worry.
- Maddox部长 - 嗯？
- Secretary Maddox. - Yes?
你之前一直从事军事工作
You've been with the military exclusively.
你有何资格做总统呢？
What makes you qualified to be the president?
我这个人只说美国人♥民♥听得懂的话
I'm a man of words that the American people can understand.
像经济……就业……
I'm talking about words like...
这样的话
the economy... jobs...
世界最烂的少男组合成员登场
World's worst boy-band member ever right there.
这是一种简单直接的语言
It's a simple and direct language.
而且呃嗯……
And, uh, ahem...
他像是刚从厕所出来
He looks like he just came out of the bathroom
突然觉得还没有拉干净
and then decided that he hadn't finished yet.
我感到美国人♥民♥
It's a language that I feel
正需要这种语言
the American people wanna listen to.
感同身受你还好吗？
I feel your pain. You okay?
你走开我就会好一点
I'll be better when you walk away.
如果我们能就这麽走开就好了
If only we could all just walk away.
现在到你副总统女士
And now to you, Madam Vice President.
最近你的私人教练引起了争议
Your personal trainer caused some controversy recently
被迫被辞退
and had to be dismissed.
有人指责你过于注重形象
What do you say to the accusation
对国家没有实际贡献
that you care too much about image
对此你怎麽看？
and aren't making a real difference to America?
在回答之前我想先
Before I answer it, I'd like to start off
代表各位辩手感谢
by saying I would like to be the first
新罕布♥什♥尔大学
to thank the kind folks
的好同志们
here at the University of New Hampshire--
教员职工学生当然——
the faculty, the staff, the students, of course--
绝对的 - 你们——