副总统（2012）

Veep S03E08

Part 2 Oct. 12, 2020, 8:10 p.m.

确实
You did.
好了那麽我们只需要再有一个可靠来源就……
All right, well, we just need another reliable source and then...
可以让这个外遇造成轰动
we can make it an affair to remember.
嘭！
Bam!
天哪我感觉充满力量！
God, I feel so powerful!
有一股全新的血流向我的新脑袋
I got a whole new rush of blood to my new head.
如果Thornhill出轨过一次也许还有其他的
Well, if Thornhill strayed once, there might be others.
如果我们幸运的话搞不好是吸毒的妓♥女♥
Maybe a crack whore, if we're lucky.
算我太天真但那样是不是不道德？
Call me naive, but isn't that unethical?
你就是太天真欢迎来到政界
You're naive. Welcome to politics.
抱歉打扰了但这些需要你过目马上
Sorry to interrupt, but I need these looked at, stat.
还有总统办公室来电♥话♥
And the president's office is on the line.
哦天哪总统给我打电♥话♥打个没完
Oh, my God. The president will not stop calling.
扎进我头发里不出来了呢
I just can't seem to get him out of my hair.
- 女士？ - 你注意到了吗？
- Ma'am? - Did you notice?
- 你剪新发型了 - 对
- You have a new haircut. - Yeah.
- 脸还抽筋 - 什麽？
- And a twitch. - What?
我以爲是自我感觉而已你真的看到了？
I thought I was just feeling it. You actually saw it?
- 非常非常非常轻微 - 你看到了？
- It's really, really, really tiny. - You've seen it?
感觉要抽的时候可以一笑掩盖
When you feel it happening, maybe you smile through it.
- Oh. - Oh, there. Aha!
- 你看到了吗？ - 完全没有
- Did you see that? - Not at all.
Sue 我没法再跟你重新强调
Sue, I cannot stress to you enough
这次会议绝对不可打断了
the uninterruptability of this meeting.
哦可以我该找我妈妈签这些文件
Well, maybe I should get my mother to sign these papers.
Sue 不要挑战我的耐心我不想闹事
Sue, do not test me. I do not want to have a scene here.
我不会闹事的
I will not have a scene.
谁去看看他们是不是在打和好炮
Somebody should check if they're having makeup sex.
你觉得新发型怎麽样？
- Gary. Gary! - What do you think of the new cut, huh?
- 你喜欢吗？ - 当然他妈的不喜欢了 Gary
- Do you like it? - Of course I don't fucking like it, Gary.
自从我的结扎手术失败以后就没有见过人这麽乱用剪刀了
It's the worst use of scissors since my failed vasectomy.
小精灵造型现在正时髦我看到有文章这麽写
The elfin look is in right now. I was reading about it.
没人会给小精灵投票好吗？
People don't elect elves, okay?
小精灵只能在山洞里干活
They put them to work in grottos
或者被灌醉在男生宿舍里被扔来扔去
or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them.
- 好了那是侏儒才对 - 都一样
- Okay, that's dwarfs. - It doesn't matter.
你真的觉得太短了吗？
Do you really think it's too short?
对她看上去像那个男人一样的歌♥手
Yeah. She looks like k.d. lang.
想想我们得对付多少女同笑话吧
Think of all the lesbian jokes we're gonna have to suffer.
“绑鸡鸡的Selina”“Selina春哥”
"Strap-on Selina," "Selina Navratilova,"
- “拉拉指法” - 哦Mike 你干嘛那麽愤怒？
- "fingering the dyke." - Oh, Mike. Why are you so angry?
因爲你给我惹了大♥麻♥烦
Because you have created a fuckload of work for me.
我得去找个和善的时尚记者
I have to go out and find a friendly style reporter,
把他们拉到我们这边——最好是个瞎子
get 'em on our side-- preferably a blind one.
- 你的老婆不就是吗 - 瞎子？
- You're married to one. - A blind woman?
- 好吧 - 哦 Wendy 我给她发短♥信♥
- Okay. - Oh, Wendy. I'll text her.
那你觉得我们可以接发之类的吗？
Okay, do you think we could add extensions or something?
我赞成接发接发是什麽？
I'm up for extensions. What are extensions?
第一项内容是国防开支
The first thing is defense spending.
嗯这样我们使出“一减一控”
Yeah, well, then we use the drawdown-lockdown.
- 对 - 什麽什麽鬼？
- Right. - Fuck-what which-way?
削减海外驻军控制国内预算
Draw down troops abroad, lock down the budget at home.
我们的口号♥可以是“Thornhill击出本垒打和外垒打”
（home and away国内外）
Our line can be "Thornhill's hitting home runs and away runs."
- 有外垒打这回事吗？ - 嗯
- Can you have "away runs"? - Yeah.
- 没有 - 好了那我怎麽攻击Chung呢？
- No. - Okay, so what am I attacking Chung with?
- 哈哈 - 你笑我们？小小撸管男?
- HA-HA. - What, are you laughing at us, "Pee-wee Sperman"?
- 哦别这样 - 哈哈
- Oh, stop it. - HA-HA...
“医保空气污染高薪还有阿富汗 ”
"Health care, air pollution, high salaries, and Afghanistan."
移♥民♥♥主♥张
Position on immigration.
好我的移♥民♥♥主♥张
Okay, well, my position
一直都很明确
has always been clear on immigration.
呃……哦天哪是什麽鬼玩意？
Um... oh, God, what the fuck is that thing?
- 三个R - 哦三个R
- The three Rs. - Oh, the three Rs.
“重申改革创新 ”
"Reaffirm, reform, renew."
- 创新 - 对
- Renew. - Yes.
我不太喜欢三个R 同志们
I don't think I like the three Rs, you guys.
- 我喜欢 - 真的吗？
- I like them. - You do?
好吧嗯那我喜欢我喜欢
Okay, yeah. I like them, then. I like 'em.
好的那麽继续你觉得你的伦敦之行
Okay, so, moving on. Do you think that your London trip
对“特殊关系”有损害吗？
harmed the "special relationship"?
绝对没有我们依然保持十分特殊的关系
Absolutely not. We still have a very special relationship
我非常期待
and I'm very much looking forward
即将到来的皇室造访
to the upcoming royal visit.
好
Okay.
我看今天就到这里吧
I think we're gonna leave it there today.
会议结束寒暄几句等等
Meeting is over. Pleasantries, et cetera.
女士我希望你的会议顺利
Well, ma'am, I hope your meeting went well,
因爲今天剩下的活动会忙死人
because the rest of your day is a logistical hell.
你能换个好听点的说法吗？
Is there any way you can make that sound more appealing?
嗯我可以凭空在句尾说个“曲奇饼”
Well, I could add the word "cookie" on the end for no reason.
她没法把抽筋练没
She can't practice not having the twitch.
她可以
She can practice that.
这叫做“肌肉记忆”
It's called "muscle memory."
- 要上电视的 - 肉毒杆菌怎麽样？
- This is gonna be on television. - What about Botox?
马上就要上台了
We're getting ready for showtime.
- 没错老大没错 - 嗯嗯
- Sure am, boss. Sure am. - Yep, yep.
- 你感觉怎麽样？ - 热这里真热
- How are you feeling? - It's hot. It feels hot in here.
没事的十分感谢
Yes, it's fine. Thank you very much.
- 欢迎来到新罕布♥什♥尔大学 - 谢谢
- Welcome to the University of New Hampshire. - Thank you.
大家大约五分钟后上台
We're gonna be onstage in about five minutes, everybody.
感觉像空手进入敌军领地
It's like being dropped into enemy territory unarmed.
- 哦很高兴见到你 Pierce议员 - 副总统女士
- Oh, nice to see you, Congressman Pierce. - Madam Vice President.
希望你不会——
Hope you're not feeling too--
哦我想你大概有点紧张
well, I guess you are feeling a little nervous.
你好吗？我喜欢你的新发型
- Hey, George. - Hi. How are you? I like the new hair getup.
- 哦谢谢 - 你去参军浑然天成
- Oh, thank you. - You'd fit right in in the military.
先生我得说你看上去非常有总统相
Sir, might I say, you look very presidential.
给我弄点水果芒果
Get me some fruit, some mango.
好的先生没问题立即去
Yes, sir, of course. Absolutely.
好了现在开始联赛的第一战
Well, here it is, game one of the series.
Joe Thornhill 你打算怎麽做？
Joe Thornhill. What are you gonna do?
你会打出本垒打吧 “不♥穿♥鞋的Joe”？
You gonna hit one out of the park, "Shoeless Joe"?
嗯我一定尽力女士
Well, I'm gonna try, ma'am.
也许那边的
Maybe we're gonna be surprised
替补队员会一鸣惊人
by our "pinch hitter" over here.
世事难料啊
You never know.
我小时候父母不让我
My parents did not allow me to play sports
参加运动所以……
growing up, so...
真可惜
That's a shame.
哦我们能不能拍照？
Oh, I wonder if we should take a picture.
- 你觉得这样好吗？ - 不错
- Do you think that would be a good idea? - Good idea.
- 要不要嗯…… - 不我看……
- Should we, um... - No, I think...
我的相机好得多
I have a much better camera.
好嘞说“谁是总统”！
All right, say who's gonna be president!
- 不不 - 不
- No, no. - No.
Egan先生我看你剃胡子了很明智
Mr. Egan, I see you've shaved. Wise.
你的脸型不够庄严不适合胡子
You don't have the facial gravitas for a beard.
光滑得惊人
It's so smooth, it's amazing.
就像摸婴儿的脸一样来你试试
It's like touching a child's face. Here, try it.
我不喜欢摸小孩的脸
I don't enjoy touching children's faces.
你也不应该喜欢
And neither should you.
嘿飞跃疯人院的Dan
Hey, "Dan Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest."
过得怎麽样伙计？你要自残吗？
How's it going, buddy? You gonna self-harm?
能不能让我直播？
Can I live stream it?
你知道你的尖锐态度很大一部分来自不安全感伙计
You know, a lot of that aggression comes from insecurity, buddy.
你要怎麽处理这些疯狂的事？
How are you gonna manage all this craziness?
我不只是处理女士我教他们
Well, I don't just manage, ma'am, I coach.
而且我会教美国
And I'm gonna coach America.
- 你在和我说话呢 - 我只是在练习
- You're talking to me now. - I was just practicing.
好吧但我是说如果没有成
Okay. But I mean, if it doesn't pan out,