副总统（2012）
Veep S03E01
Part 4
Oct. 12, 2020, 8:07 p.m.
Now more than ever. Seriously.
Dan 听着 我们必须行动
Dan, listen. We're going to have to do something
如果Maddox真的参选
if Maddox is actually gonna run.
是的 女士 我在学校年鉴里
Yes, ma'am, yes. I was voted
曾被选为最有可能现在行动的人哦
"Most Likely To Do Something Now"
快去吧
- in my class yearbook. - Just get on it.
竞选什么 女士
Running for what, ma'am?
听着 小家伙
Yeah. Listen, bumpkin...
你要是对别人多嘴
You blurt out anything to anyone
关于Maddox竞选 总统退出的事
about Maddox running or POTUS deciding not to run,
你的政♥治♥事业就只剩下
the closest you'll get to a political career will
向万圣节商店卖♥♥尼克松面具了 懂吗
be selling Nixon masks to a Halloween shop, okay?
总统不会参选连任
POTUS isn't seeking re-election?
叫你别多嘴 你多嘴了
I said don't blurt. You blurted.
- 你先多嘴的 - 你先说了竞选的事
- You blurted first. - You blurted about running.
你要竞选
You're running?
Ben 你的猪脑里
Ben, can you not keep
就一点事都藏不住吗
a cat in a bag for one fuckin' second?
现在必须杀人灭口了
Now we're gonna have to kill him.
女士 如果竞选需要任何帮助
Ma'am, if you need any help with your campaign,
我很擅长高压工作
I'm real good in a high-pressure situation.
真的吗 怎么擅长法
Really? In what sense good?
我完全掌握签售排队形势啦
I was all over that book line thing.
好吧 跟你说
Yeah. I tell you what, get the driver
叫司机把空调打开
to turn the air conditioning on, okay?
我热死了
'Cause I'm boiling up here.
没问题
I can do that!
怎么叫
How do I do that?
打开车门
Just open the door while we're moving,
跟印第安纳琼斯一样爬到车底
climb under the car like Indiana Jones,
跳上引擎盖
pop up on the hood
写在挡风玻璃上
and write a note on the windshield.
好嘞 该切蛋糕了
All right! Time to cut the cake, everybody!
当心 我老婆有刀
Watch out! My wife has a knife!
我想每人一块半寸的最合适 对吗
I think the optimal size for each slice
我想每人一块半寸的最合适 对吗
is about a half inch for everybody, all right?
我有个半寸的东西给你哦
I got about a half inch for you.
- 你虚报了 - 好吧
- You exaggerate. - Okay.
- 动手了
- Here we go.
背手发短♥信♥ 天哪
Texting behind your back? Jesus.
- 你会Hendrix短♥信♥法 - 要领先一步
- You "Hendrix texting"? - Just staying ahead.
- 好的竞选主管总是领先一步 - 不
- That's what a good campaign manager does. - No.
不 不是一个好的竞选主管 Amy
No, a good campaign manager, Amy...
不好意思 我的聪明才智叫我
Excuse me, I'm about to be brilliant.
你们俩像是两个漂亮的复活节彩蛋
You guys are just like two little pretty Easter eggs.
我很乐意打开你们
I'd love to crack you open.
嗨 囧型肝炎
Hey, Hepatitis J.
你网上发的那张照片怎么样
How's that pic you posted on your blog going, huh?
转发疯了 傻♥逼♥
It's a hashtag hurricane, bitch tits.
你不觉得该把图撤了
You don't think maybe you should take that down?
你不觉得你该去艹猩猩
You don't think you should go fist a chimp?
你把我们慌乱的样子拍下来
Well, it's just that you showing us panicking
显得Maddox辞职
makes it seem like the Maddox resignation
对我们事关重大
is somehow significant to us.
因为他会成为Selina的主要对手
'Cause he would be a big rival for Selina.
在总统竞选中
Who wants to run for president...?
因为美国总统
Because the President of the United States
不再参选
is not going to run again.
- 怎么了 - 总统还没宣布
- So? - So the president has not yet announced
他不再参选
that he's not gonna run again.
没问题 我把图撤了
That's no problem. I'll just take it down.
赶在谷歌♥收集到之前
Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do that
赶在谷歌♥收集到之前
before Google caches it,
因为一旦上了谷歌♥
because once that happens,
就再也撤不了了
it's on there till the end of the world,
你很可能罪加一等
which will also probably be your fault.
谷歌♥电♥话♥多少
What's Google's number?
不知道 问Jeeves
I don't know. Ask Jeeves.
你认识安♥全♥局♥的人吗
Do you know anybody at the NSA?
有人认识安♥全♥局♥的人吗
Does anybody here know anybody at the NSA?
噢 在这悲伤的一天见到你
Oh, I see you here on this sad day.
那是变革网的Issac Denisov
Okay, that's Isaac Denisov from Change.org.
她讨厌他
She hates him.
这边 女士 你讨厌这人
This way, ma'am. You hate him.
今天你总算对了一次
Oh, yeah. That's the first one you've got right today.
他是个人♥渣♥ 我们找Ericsson
He's a douche. We've gotta find Ericsson.
我会认出他的 电脑上看的照片我过目不忘
I'll know when I see him. I never forget a JPEG.
- Blake Stewart来了 - 副总统女士
- Blake Stewart alert. - Madam Vice President.
Blake Stewart 我的天啊
Blake Stewart. Oh, my goodness.
Blake是十年前的候选人
Blake won the nomination a decade ago
输得一塌糊涂
and lost disastrously.
他会妨碍Selina
He's gonna throw Selina off her game.
- 为什么 - 为什么
- Why? - Why?
他跟鼠疫一样要命
He's the bubonic fuckin' plague of this party.
- 我知道你在做图书推广 - 对
- I see you're doing a book tour. - I am, yes.
- 你打算竞选吗 - 不 不不不
- Are you thinking of running? - Oh, no, no, no.
叫卖♥♥书而已
I'm just hawking books.
你再否认六年吧
You are gonna deny that for six years,
然后就会竞选
then you'll run anyway.
你竞选时感觉如何
What was it like, the campaign, for you?
兴奋 然后累极了
Exciting... then exhausting.
- 啊 - 然后我死了
- Ah. - Then I died.
开玩笑 差不多
Joking. Kinda.
你现在走出来了 挺好
Well, you're out of it now, so that's good.
我以前认为是团队害我落选
I used to think that I failed because of my team...
参谋长不行
I didn't have the right chief of staff,
竞选主管 联络员
campaign manager, comms guys,
还有我当时的妻子 但不是这样
my then wife... but, no.
是因为我 我确实不够格
It was me. I just didn't have it.
- 够格的人很少 - 对
- Well, very few of us do. - Right.
- 比如Cowgill - 可怜的Cowgill
- Like Cowgill. - Poor Cowgill.
我有点希望在棺材里的是我
I kinda wish it was me in that box.
很高兴和你谈话 Mike
It's good speaking with you, Mike.
真的吗 谢谢
Really? Oh, thanks.
不经常听到这话
- I don't hear that a lot. - Oh...
- 女士 - 怎么了
- Oh... ma'am? - Yes?
苏格兰首相来电
The prime minister of Scotland is on the line right now.
- 听起来很重要 - 哦 很好
- It sounds important. - Oh, great.
重要 能稍候一下吗 你好
Important, yes. Would you excuse me for a second? Hello?
我说
Well, you know what?
我们可以当场圆房♥
We could consummate this marriage right here.
也不会有人发现或者在意
No one would notice or give a shit.
没错
- We could. - Mm-hmm.
- 或者 - 或者什么
- Or...? - Or?
- 我们可以看看手♥机♥ - Gary
- We could check our phones. - Gary?
- 副总统女士 - 嗯
- Madam Vice President? - Yes?
- 我是Rick的侄子/外甥 - 不敢置信
- I was Rick's nephew. - Are you kidding me?
这是Cowgill的侄子/外甥
This is Cowgill's nephew.
对方自我介绍了
If they tell her who they are,
你不用说话
you don't have to say anything.
Stewart先生 我们想请你念这首诗
Mr. Stewart, this is the poem we'd like you to read.
谢谢 我也准备了告别发言
Thank you. I've prepared some closing words, too.
其实我想请副总统发言
I was gonna actually ask the vice president
如果她愿意的话
if she would like to say something.
没事
No, it's fine.
- 反正我演讲水平不行 - 没有的事
- I'm a terrible speaker anyway. - No, you're not.
是的 我就是这么输掉49个州的
Yeah. That's how I lost 49 states.
不是 呃
No. Well...
- 就是 - 好吧
- Yeah. It is. - Okay.
什么事 兄弟 做啥呢
Hey. What's going on, man? What's crackin'?
总统要来吗
副总统（2012）
Veep
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