副总统（2012）

Veep S03E03

Part 3 Oct. 12, 2020, 8:08 p.m.

就是，某些窄播妈妈那听来的
Yeah, not some pissant who narrowcasts
谣言的喽喽可不够格。
libelous poison from his mother's phone.
我告诉你，Leon，
Know what, Leon?
我是新闻媒体的未来，所以……
I'm the future of news media, so...
Mike，只是新闻稿而已。
Mike, this is just a press release.
不，不是。
No, it's not.
Jonah，我要查你证件了，
Jonah, I'm going to have your
揪奶。
credentials checked, Jonad.
哦，好啊，真专业，Mike。
Oh, yeah, real professional, Mike.
- 揪奶！揪奶！ - 我自己去找。
- Jonad! Jonad! - I'll find my own.
- 揪奶！揪奶！ - Mike！
- Jonad! Jonad! - Mike!
嗨，我们该去哪儿吗？
Hi. Is there someplace we're supposed to be?
对不起，我跟媒体嚷嚷呢。
Sorry, yeah. Just yelling at the media.
对对对。
Yes, yes, yes.
哦嘿，序列中的VIP们。
Oh, hey, Steps VIPs.
你们给人极大的鼓舞。
You guys are an inspiration.
谢谢。
Thank you.
让你领导接电♥话♥，
Put your boss on the phone,
不然我煎了你的蛋蛋，你个SNL屎棍。
or I will sauté your sack, you "SNL" shitstick.
红贴纸集♥合♥！
Red Stickers assemble!
那是Sue。她说是时候
That was Sue. She says it's time for you guys
来当序列里的大明星了！
to become Steps Superstars!
请所有序列VIP集♥合♥！
I need all Steps VIPs, please!
说你呢！
That's you!
你有梦想的胆量。
You dared to dream.
贴了红贴纸的就是。
That's anyone with a red sticker!
你准备好了吗？来，开始了。
Are you ready? Come on. Here we go.
Mik，半个美国都进来了。
Mike, half of America just came in.
像是沃尔玛的黑色星期五。（抢♥购♥打折）
This is like Black Friday at Wal-Mart.
不不，这些人是充数的，
No, no, these people are filler,
你是杀手锏。真的。
you are killer. Seriously.
你是大……Gary，过来。
You are a big... Gary, come here.
我想请你见Alicia。
I wanted you to meet Alicia.
Alicia，很高兴见到你！
Alicia, hey, it's so nice to meet you!
哦，你是VIP！
Ooh, you're VIP!
我刚在告诉她她有多特别。
I was just telling her how special she is.
你看，后排的女士是谁？
Like, who's this lady in the back row?
我压根不认识她。
I don't even know her.
她？她刚打败了癌症。
Her? Just beat cancer.
对，但不严重，好治的那种。
Yeah, but not a bad one. An easy one,
手指或者皮肤上的。不是要命的那些。
like finger or skin. Not one of the hard ones.
他们都和我一样特别吗？
Are they all as special as me?
不不不不。
No. No, no, no.
不是。你开玩笑吗？
No. Are you kidding?
这位只是一个受伤的消防员。
This guy here is just an injured fireman.
我没看到伤疤。
I don't see any scars.
请寄养妈妈和英勇餐馆老板
I need Foster Mom and Heroic Restaurateur
互换位置，谢谢。
to switch places, please.
英勇的餐馆老板！
Heroic Restaurateur!
“哇，我做了个蛋饼，我是英雄！”
"Ooh, I just made an omelet, I'm a hero!"
Halo要尿尿。
Oh, Halo has to pee.
嘿Amy，陪护员在哪儿？
Hey, Amy, where are the chaperones?
圣Joseph儿童合唱团
The St. Joseph's Children's Choir
在呕吐，
has come down with a vomiting bug.
全部30个。
All 30 of them.
所以陪护员目前被
So the chaperones are drowning
小孩淹没了。
in children at the moment.
我可以带你去，反正我要去那边。
I can take you, I'm going that way anyway.
何不跟我来呢？我可以牵她的手吗？
So why don't you come with me? Do I take her hand?
行，牵着Amy阿姨的手。
Yes, hold Miss Amy's hand.
Amy天生是带小孩的料。
Amy was born to be with kids.
哦，尿尿好有趣！
Well, peeing is fun!
这就对了。
There you go.
好了。我的位置在这儿？
All right. This is my spot?
准备好了吗？
Okay, are we ready?
大家伙儿怎么样？都还好吗？
How you all doing? Are you good?
我感觉很棒！谢谢大家的到来。
I feel good! Thank you all for being here.
你看起来像个漂亮的玩具战士。
You look like a pretty toy soldier.
可别敬礼。
Okay, don't do a salute.
女士，可否向你引见你的VIP？
Ma'am, may I present your VIPs?
哦，Karen！
Oh, Karen!
我喜欢SNL上的你。
I loved you on "Saturday Night Live."
精彩绝伦。
You were hysterical.
那个不是我。
That wasn't me, though.
但难道不有趣吗？非常有趣！
But wasn't it funny? So funny!
- 这位…… - Alicia Bryce!
- This right here... - Alicia Bryce!
- 我们终于见面了！- 对啊！
- We get to meet each other at last! - Yes!
- 她是那个…… - 好极了！
- She's the one who... - Wonderful!
我对全面普及儿童医护充满热情。
I am passionate about universal child care.
女士，很高兴和你谈话。
Ma'am, I am so glad to talk to you.
你还应该知道……
You should also know...
这有点烦人。
That's a little distracting.
对，没错。是烦人。
Yeah, it is. It's distracting.
- 非常烦人。 - 停下。
- So distracting. - Yeah, so quit it.
女士，我在电♥话♥上
Ma'am, I didn't get a chance
没来得及说，
to say on the phone,
我们的孩子中有38%
but 38% of our kids have no
没有常规儿童医保。
regular child care arrangements.
38%. Ugh.
五个里面就有两个。
Two out of every five kids.
- 我说，可是38%呀。 - 38%，对。
- I mean, 38%, right? - 38%. That's it.
很高兴你回映了我的担忧。
I'm glad you echo my concerns.
是真的。
No, I do.
我回映你的担忧。
I echo your concerns.
我们很快会再见的，100%。
I'm gonna see you soon, and that's 100%.
100%你想什么时候说就什么时候说，女士。
You can repeat 100% any time you like, ma'am.
我会的，女士……100%！
I will, ma'am... 100%!
你去哪儿了？
Okay, where've you been?
尿得真开心！
Okay, great pee!
我想知道谁弄出那个段子的，
I wanna know who's responsible
你这个鸡……
for that sketch, you cock...
尾酒餐巾。对，我就这么说了。
tail napkin. Yeah, you heard me.
Dan. Amy.
- 要死，我得走了。 - Doyle参议员。
- Shit, I gotta go. - Senator Doyle.
我和副总统约定了会面。
I have a meeting scheduled with the vice president
现在，此刻。
right now and it is "right now" right now.
你能带着这个吗……现在。
Dan, you take this... right now.
什么？
What?
不，没法讲，我有另一个电♥话♥。
No, I can't talk 'cause I'm on another call.
你们给人极大的鼓舞。
You guys are an inspiration.
不，不是说你这个。
No, not this one.
Mike，我需要Dee。她在外边，
Mike, I need Dee. She's outside,
我需要她帮忙看Halo。
I need her to watch Halo.
没问题，我带Dee来。
No problem. I will get Dee.
你还好吗，小宝贝？
You okay, baby?
嗯，很好，
Yeah, it's good,
就是顺序错了，
except this order's wrong because
不能把医院放在军队后面。
you can't have hospital after military.
但你说要把军队放在最前。
But you wanted military first.
对，我知道，但你不能
Yeah, I know, but you can't have
在战争后就提医院。我是这个意思。
hospitals after war. That's what I'm saying.
因为听起来
'Cause then they sound like
有因果关系。
they're the result of war.
这种意外产生的联♥系♥不是好事。
It's the curse of the unintended narrative.
好吧，但军队还是放最前面对吗？
Okay, but you still want military first?
对！
Yes!
两样同时写好了。
I'll just say them simultaneously.
像那些西♥藏♥喉音歌♥手，Dan。
Like those Tibetan throat singers, Dan.
女士，你得放弃全面普及儿童医护。
Ma'am, you gotta dump the universal child care.
天哪，Doyle，你从哪冒出来的？
Jesus, Doyle, where did you just come from?
全面普及儿童医护是吞钱无底洞。
Universal child care is a bottomless money pit.