副总统（2012）
Veep S03E03
Part 4
Oct. 12, 2020, 8:08 p.m.
宣布支持它，
You pledge this,
就别想要海军了。
you can forget about having a navy.
好了，甜心，
Okay, sweetheart.
别急得跟内♥裤♥勒到蛋一样。
Don't get your panties all up in a wad.
我只提一提Alicia Bryce的名字。
I'm just mentioning Alicia Bryce by name.
不是任命她为
I am not appointing her to
联合参谋长。
my joint chiefs of staff.
你当我弄不清
Do I look like I rode in on the
你那点破把戏吗，Selina？
last "fuck truck," Selina?
你想把普及儿童医护偷渡进来。
You are smuggling in universal child care.
你在疑神疑鬼，好吗？
You sound paranoid, okay?
我会提到儿童医护。到此为止。
I'm mentioning child care. That's it.
所以现在我们可以信口开河了？
So we can say anything now?
可以说我们包治百病。
We can say we can heal the sick.
我们能凭空分配口♥交♥。
We can turn water into blowjobs.
行了，你该走了。
All right, we're done here.
Selina，稳妥为上。
Selina, play it safe.
把AARP（美国退休人员协会）加进序列。
Put the AARP on those steps.
老年人会投票。
Seniors vote.
他们没有别的事做。
They've got nothing else to do.
我这儿就有个老年人。
I've got a senior up there.
就在我眼前。好吗？
I'm looking right at him. Okay?
呵呵，也许他不会为你投票。
Well... maybe you don't have him.
什么？
What?
抱歉，我得接个电♥话♥。
Excuse me, I gotta take this call.
是一位你希望领导的
It's from a senior member
资深党员打来的。
of the party that you hope to lead.
你想我做什么？
What do you want me to do?
做党的木偶？
You want me to be some sort of a party puppet?
让你把手插在我屁♥股♥里
You can stick your hand up
指挥我？
my ass and work my mouth?
- 对，就是这样！ - 天！
- Yes, please! - Gosh!
你们这些傻蛋干嘛去了，
What were you bobbleheads doing
傻站着让时间老人
while I was just getting
朝我喷粪？
ear-fucked by Father Time?
Doyle参议员说得对，女士。
Senator Doyle is correct, ma'am.
才不！
No, he's not!
灰色投票（老人）好赢，
The gray vote is a given,
但全面普及儿童医护？
but universal child care?
吓死人。
That spooks the horses.
老年人选票可以轻松得到。
Seniors are the easy vote.
儿童医护是原则问题。
Child care is a principle.
女士，你的原则多得是，
Ma'am, you have plenty of principles.
选一个其他的。
Just gotta pick another one.
我的天，我就不信这事儿了！
Oh, my gosh, I can't believe this!
不，Dee不代表什么。
No, the Dee don't stand for anything.
这就跟我问你Mike
That's like me askin' you what
代表什么一样。
does the "Mike" stand for?
代表像Mike的那种人。
It stands for "Mike kinda guy."
- 你略怂。 - Mike？
- You kinda lame. - Mike?
“亲爱的，我把孩子弄没了”（一部电影叫弄小了）
"Honey, I dropped the kids"?
什么？不，不是。
What? Oh, no, no.
陪护员说孩子们能唱歌♥。
The chaperone said the choir will sing, Leon.
不，全面普及儿童医护。
No, universal child care.
传说Selina要放弃这个。
Rumor has it Selina's dropping it.
- 等等，什么？ - 绝对不会。
- Wait, what? - Absolutely not.
这对副总统至关重要。
It is a priority for the vice president.
最好是。
It better be.
这斗牛犬是谁，新的竞选主管？
Who's the bulldog, new campaign manager?
我叫Dee。
My name is Dee. And you're
你又是哪根葱？
what, fucking nobody?
没人敢和Dee这样说话，懂吗？
'Cause don't nobody talk to Dee like that, okay?
走吧，Dee。刚才训得好。
Let's go, Dee. That was a good put-down.
还行吧。
It was okay.
看，你写了“所有……的你们。”
Look here... you wrote, "All you who've."
哦女士，SNL刚给我回邮件了。
Oh, ma'am, "SNL" just e-mailed me back.
哦妈♥了♥个♥逼♥。
Oh, crap in my lap.
什么？怎么了？
What? What is it?
怎么了？
What?
他们要再演一个小品。
They're gonna do another sketch.
等等。
Wait a minute.
他们要干吗？
They're gonna what?
这是你干的吗？
Is this your doing?
你给他们灵感了，Dan？
Did you give them this idea, Dan?
我不会说我被冒犯了，但……
I don't do offended, but I am...
你会这么想我很受打击。
affronted that you'd even think that.
该死的笑星。
Fucking comedians.
该死的笑星。
Fucking comedians.
我告诉你怎么回事。
I'll tell you what happens.
他们小时候在学校被欺负，
They get bullied when they're little at school,
然后回过头来欺负我。
and then they perpetuate the cycle by bullying me.
我会搞定这事。
I'm gonna take care of this. I'm gonna
我马上打电♥话♥给这些傻♥逼♥呆子。
call those fucking nerds right now.
嗯。给我搞定！
Yeah. Get that done!
抱歉我来晚了。
Sorry I was late.
我的讲话是在……
I was giving that speech at...
哦！英雄所见略同！
Oh! Great minds think alike!
你们看起来像在演
You look like you're in one
那种交换身体的喜剧片。
of those body swap comedies.
你脑子进水了，
What in the wide world of fuck
穿的是什么？
do you think you're wearing?
我也很高兴见到你。
Nice to see you too.
我想穿得保守些。
I was trying to be conservative.
你从两岁半起就
You haven't dressed like this
没穿成这样过了。
since you were two and a half.
这会显得我
This makes me look like I'm
是那种故意
some sort of a crazy person
穿母女装的疯子。
that was deliberately trying to make us look like twins.
那就完了！
That's nuts!
我不是故意让你难看的。
I'm not trying to make you look crazy.
那就去换衣服。
Then go and change this outfit.
说真的，这太荒谬了。
Seriously. This is ridiculous.
为什么你不换？
Why don't you change?
呃？你开玩笑？
Huh? Is that a joke?
对。
Yes.
今天是我的日子。
This is my day.
我说，你懂吗？
I mean, you know?
萌……小小Selina。
Cute... "Li'l Selina."
我刚和国会
I just got off the phone with
领导成员通过话，
the congressional leadership
他们碰上堵车了，
and they're stuck in traffic,
所以我们可能赶不上讲序列了。
so we may not make it to the steps.
你听到了？
You hear that?
你在威胁我吗？
Are you threatening me?
哦，不。路况真的很糟，
Oh, no. Traffic is really bad,
车可能永远开不出来了。
so the car might be stuck there forever.
所以我要让一群
So I'm supposed to let a bunch
白人死鱼眼
of dead-eyed white guys...
糟蹋我所代表
shit all over absolutely
的一切吗？
everything that I stand for.
我不会让党主宰我。
I'm not going to let the party dictate to me.
- 好。 - 就是好。
- Okay. - Oh-hh-kay.
艹！
Shit!
天啊！
God!
天啊！
God!
我决定
I've decided that I'm...
让他们主宰我。
going to let them dictate to me.
这是我的决定。
Because that is my decision.
你懂吗？我让他们这么做！
Do you understand that? I am letting them do that!
- 懂了吗？ - 是的，女士。
- Get it? - Yes, ma'am.
副总统（2012）
Veep
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