副总统（2012）

Veep S03E03

Part 2 Oct. 12, 2020, 8:08 p.m.

Don't worry, he's like
他跟谁都那样。
that with all the humans.
他对你印象很好。
He thinks you're great.
我去提醒他一下就行。
I'm just gonna remind him.
拜托了，Ame。
Yeah. Please do, Ame.
Mike我等演讲的引用部分
Mike, I've been waiting for an
已经等了一小时了。
hour for excerpts from the speech.
Leon今天大家压力都很大，
Leon, today is a very high-pressure day,
你知道我，我连
and as you know me, I don't even
高压淋浴都不喜欢。
like high-pressure showers.
所以那个味道是？
Is that what I've been smelling?
我还是以为你只是慌了。
I thought maybe it was your panic.
他开玩笑的，我当然洗澡。
He's kidding. I shower, of course.
你还喜欢用古龙水。
And you like to use a lot cologne.
大量的古龙水。
Like a lot of cologne.
Axe身体喷雾，对吗？（低价，年轻）
Axe Body Spray, right, Mike?
好了，大家伙儿？
Okay, guys?
能把West先生领回
If we could put Mr. West
媒体区域吗,
back in the press area
别让他再过来，谢谢。
and keep him there? Thank you.
- Bryce女士？ - 嗯？
- Ms. Bryce? - Mm-hmm?
- Sue Wilson. - Oh.
红色贴纸是什么意思？
What does a red sticker mean?
我变成狙击手目标了吗？
I'm like a target for snipers?
意思是你贴了红色贴纸。
It means you're wearing a red sticker.
请跟我来。
Follow me, please.
女士，我之前和Doyle参议员谈过，
Ma'am, I spoke to Senator Doyle earlier,
他对坐席安排
and he offered his input
提了一些建议。
on configuration of guests.
Doyle？你耍我吗？
Doyle? You're kidding me. I'd rather
我宁可听占卜板的建议。
get advice from a fucking Ouija board.
Sue，Catherine在哪儿？
Sue, where's Catherine?
她来晚了，女士。
She's late, ma'am.
最好是出车祸了。
She better have been in an accident.
Dan，这次改写♥真♥JB好。
Dan, this rewrite kicks balls and ass.
讲明了我的观点，
It explains me,
透彻精准。
it really articulates me.
组织得很美妙……就像我。
It's beautifully put together... like me.
好极了，定下了。
It's great. It's locked.
哦，谢谢。
Oh, thank God.
只有几个稍微调整的地方。
We just have a couple of tweaks.
翻到第一页第二段，
If you go to paragraph two on page one,
有我的注释。
that's where you'll see my notes.
我以为你说定下了。
I thought you just said it was locked.
没错。结构上非常牢靠。
Yeah, it is. It's structurally very sound.
只需要打磨文字，好吗？
We just need to nail the wording, okay?
- 女士。 - 嗯?
- Ma'am. - Yes?
这段“周末夜现场”的狗屎
This "Saturday Night Live" shitstorm
刚刚激起了九级屎啸。
has just hit nine on the "Sphincter Scale."
- 那个小品？- 对，三百万点击。
- The sketch? - Yeah. Three million hits.
那些狗崽子。
Oh, those shit stains.
怎么了？我养了匹马当小孩。
So what? I had a horse as a kid.
谁没有呢？
Who didn't?
- 嗯…… - 我，我是说养宠物。
- Mmm... - I mean, have a pet is what I meant.
女士，你在书里
Well, ma'am, in your book,
说给小马保养
you say that pony grooming
教会了你
taught you about how tough
美国农民生活的艰辛。
it is for American farmers.
我是说了，因为是真话。
I did say that, 'cause they do.
这话很好笑！
That's funny!
有什么好笑？
Why is that funny?
我没法看这个。你看了吗？
I can't watch it. Did you see it?
不，我不看这个节目。
No, I don't watch this show.
幼稚至极。
It's completely juvenile.
你在干什么，亲爱的？
What are you doing, honey?
我在学习当农民的艰辛。
I'm learning how hard it is to be a farmer.
真的、真的很难！
It's really, really hard!
完成！
Finished!
好像SNL穿越时空
It's like "SNL" is going back
回去欺负小孩了。
in time and abusing a child.
我是Selina Meyer，我批准我的小马。
I'm Selina Meyer, and I approve my pony.
就像我一直说的，
Like I always say, nothing
没有比喜剧演员更无趣的了。
less funny than a comedian.
女士，现在要做的就是
Ma'am, the thing to do in
掌控局面，化为优势。
this situation is you own it.
你去上节目，把它给掌控了。
You go on the show, and you own it.
你开玩笑，Dan?
Are you kidding me, Dan?
要是有人在你车里拉屎，
If somebody takes a shit in your car,
你怎么办？
what are you gonna do?
你提起贵臀从天窗
You gonna drop your trout and take a crap
喷一坨粪吗？
through the sunroof?
我看不行，小子。
I don't think so, buddy.
跟SNL通话，解决这事。
Get on the phone to "SNL" and fix this.
女士，这带有演讲的暗示……
Ma'am, this has speech implications...
噢拜托。
Oh, please.
Sue，介意我凑过来
Sue, can I impose myself
看看你的图表吗?
on your diagram over here?
过来。
Come on over.
Sue的地盘就是你的地盘，先生。（西班牙语）
"Sue" casa es su casa, sir.
- 等等。 - 那个有意思，Sue。
- Wait a minute. - That's funny, Sue.
你在说什么？
What are you saying?
嗯，多谢周末夜现场，
Well, thanks to "Saturday Night Live,"
我们得把残疾农民移出序列。
we need to take "Disabled Farmer" off the steps.
不，不用。
No, we don't.
演讲一定不能提到他。
You gotta take him out of the speech.
那么，Dan，你去把……
So, Dan, you got to lose...
是。
Yup.
所以现在需要
So now we need to replace
找别人替代残疾农民。
Disabled Farmer with somebody else.
不，不能替代他。
No, you're not going to replace him.
等等，艹，你猜怎么着，
Wait, shit, you know what?
不能去掉那个农民，不然
We can't lose the farmer. If we do that,
就得去掉
we gotta get rid of the
敏感的纽约健身男，然后
"Sensitive New York Fitness Guy," and then
既无法占领都市
we can't go metropolitan if we're
也没法打动中部。
not gonna hit Middle America.
没错。
That's right.
得重写演讲稿！
We need to rewrite the speech!
我没法重写重写稿，Kent。
I can't rewrite the rewrite, Kent.
还没写完呢。
I'm still writing it.
这就是现实。
That's the reality, Dan.
如果你不喜欢现实，
If you don't like the reality,
去俄勒冈和我妈妈缝被子吧。
go live in Oregon and make quilts with
她正需要帮手。
my mother. She could use the help.
喂，喂，这里的一切都是神圣的。
Guys, guys, everything here is sacred.
原样保留。
This is staying exactly the way it is.
懂了吗？原样。
kay? Exactly.
四年里来的第一次，
For the first time in four years,
我可以说出心里话。
I can say what I really think.
你们开始挑挑拣拣，
You start picking this thing
我还剩下什么？
apart, and what am I left as?
乐观的青睐有文化基佬的
Some sort of optimistic warmonger
战争贩子？
with a soft spot for educated gays.
什么事这么久？
What's the hold-up?
林肯总统该从
President Lincoln should be
剧院回来了。（刺杀地点）
back from the theater by now.
心急吃不了热豆腐。
Good things come to those who wait.
给我。
Gimmie.
别瞎叨叨了，看看谁大驾光临！
Quit your yakking, 'cause guess who's packin'!
给我一份。
Give me one of those.
真的记者才能拿。
Legit journalists only.