副总统（2012）

Veep S03E05

Part 2 Oct. 12, 2020, 8:08 p.m.

看看现在的我
Look at me now.
没人会自愿地说那些鬼话
Nobody says shit like that voluntarily.
Dan在爲竞选主管争取机会知道吗？
Dan is campaigning for campaign manager, okay?
你不是在帮他吧？
You're not pushing for him, are you?
老天才不
Christ, no.
让Dan主管竞选我宁愿
I'd rather cede control of the CIA to Pakistan
把CIA交给巴基斯坦
than see Dan lead a campaign.
我应该开始行动吗？
Should I be campaigning?
这事你真的需要问我？
Do you really have to ask me that?
我没法装和蔼
I can't do the "be nice to people"
因爲Dan已经在装了
because that's what Dan's doing.
而且我也装不了
Also, 'cause I can't do it.
何不请我们
Why don't you just
吃顿晚饭？
invite us over for dinner?
你收到我的短♥信♥了吗？
Did you get my text?
收到了
I got your text.
你没回复
You didn't answer.
哦无话可回
Oh, there is no answering that.
Crystal 过来
Crystal, come here.
我需要你把这个送到这里
I need you to take this to this address.
交给护士就行
Just leave it with the nurse.
越快越好但别磕着了
Fast as you can, but don't crash.
大驾光临媒体大♥师♥Mike君
There he is, Mr. Media Master Mike.
Mike 你去哪儿了？
Mike, where have you been?
卫生间
The bathroom.
我希望你在里面也想着我
I hope you were focusing on me in there.
哦不我没有想
Oh, no. I wasn't.
不好意思你说什麽？
Excuse me? What?
对不起我上厕所去了
I'm sorry, I was in the bathroom.
怎麽了你们一起上厕所？
What, you guys went to the bathroom together?
我其实正在想一件事
I was actually thinking of something,
如何让你的首条竞选消息
which is, how to squash the
影响最小化
first story of your campaign.
什麽消息？
Which is what?
你没有竞选主管
The fact that you started your
就开始竞选了
campaign without a campaign manager.
哦好像也没有
Oh, possibly without a
管新闻的呢对吗 Mike？
press guy, too. Right, Mike?
- 女士？ - 知道了
- Ma'am? - Yeah, I know.
那是搞什麽名堂？
What the hell was that about?
别担心伙计
Don't worry about it, buddy.
你面对权力直言真♥相♥
You speak truth to power,
你是政♥治♥真♥相♥的使者
Mr. Truth Power Talker.
你知道吗 Dan 看你装善良
You know, Dan, watching you try to be nice
就像看婴儿抽烟……
is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette...
有那麽一点酷但又非常让人胆寒
it's kind of cool, but also very disturbing.
谢谢
Thank you.
我猜猜……你要先点甜点
Let me guess... you're ordering dessert first
再上大菜
and then a main course.
什麽？爲什麽？
What? Why?
你没有指派竞选主管
You put yourself up for nomination
就进入了竞选行列
before appointing a campaign manager.
我还以爲你
I just thought maybe you liked
喜欢倒着做事
to do everything backwards.
你这个笑话
That was quite a long
够蜿蜒的
journey for that joke.
敬佩你的毅力
I admire your stamina.
彼此彼此
And I admire yours.
那些调查结果一定挺忧心
Those polls can't be easy reading.
你应该领先三千步
You're 30 yards ahead when you
却只领先了三步
should be three miles ahead.
你知道爲什麽吗？
Do you know why?
我告诉你民♥意♥调查是臭名昭著的……
Let me tell you something. Polls are notorious...
我们来谈谈爲什麽媒体
Let's look at why the press
不喜欢你他们确实不喜欢
don't like you, and they don't.
原因就是Mike McClintock
The answer is Mike McClintock.
嗯有道理
Well, that makes sense, yeah.
然后我们还有Dan
And then we have Dan.
他一脸的睫毛和牙齿
He's all eyelashes and teeth.
很适合当赌台管♥理♥员♥
He'd make a good croupier.
他管赌台会很合适
He would make a good croupier.
从没这麽想过
Never thought of that.
你非常擅长察言观色你知道吗？
He's very good at reading people, you know?
对勾引喝醉了的
Right, hitting on drunk
离婚女人他就这个层次
divorcees, yeah. That's his level.
那你建议我甩掉Dan和Mike？
So you are suggesting losing Dan and Mike?
Amy就……
Amy would be...
她知道你在这儿吗？
Does she know you're here?
不当然不
No, of course not.
这就够她丢掉工作了
You should fire her for that.
我不会让我这样的人和你接触
I wouldn't let you within
方圆一英里都不行
a mile of someone like me.
马上炒了她
Fire her, now.
我还没想过……
I hadn't thought about...
那现在该想了
Then it's time you did.
- Bill？ - 嗯
- Bill? - Yes.
如果我们要合作
If we are gonna work together,
你必须努力试着
you really do need to make an effort
不要一直打断我
not to interrupt me all the time
因爲那样让我……
because I find that a little...
烦心？我知道
Annoying? I get it.
闭嘴扔了完成
Zip. Out. Done.
好的谢谢你
Good. Thank you.
说吧
Go ahead.
那麽你说要甩掉
So, you're talking about
Dan和Mike和Amy？
losing Dan and Mike and Amy?
- 还有Gary - 哦拜托
- Plus Gary. - Oh, come on.
你真想让他像个白♥痴♥一样
Do you really want him standing behind you
在你身后再站八年？
for the next eight years like an asshole?
哦可是你知道他是我的白♥痴♥
Oh, but you know, he's my asshole.
你需要更好的白♥痴♥
You need a better asshole.
好吧那就不要Gary……也许吧
All right, so, lose Gary... I guess.
然后怎麽办我解雇所有人？
And then, what, I fire everyone?
- 嗯 - 现在我该怎麽办？
- Mm-hmm. - Now what am I supposed to do?
我能使你登上世界权力顶峰的
I could maximize your chances of becoming
可能性最大化
the most powerful person on Earth.
头尽力向右转
Turn your head as far
头尽力向右转
as you can to the right.
再来一次
And again.
就这麽点？
That's it?
而且你上班需要提很沈的包？
And at work you're required to carry a heavy bag?
对我的许多责任之一
Yeah, that's one of my many responsibilities.
你的工作里提包必不可少吗？
Is your bag integral to your job?
还有什麽其他任务？
What other duties do you have?
那是保密信息
That's classified information.
继续这样你就得换肩膀了
Carry on like this, you're gonna need a new shoulder.
能换肩膀吗？我愿意
Is that an option? 'Cause I can do that.
你需要换工作
You need to get a new job.
这儿某些人需要换工作
Someone around here needs to get a new job,
但不是我
and it ain't me.
我不太懂你的……
I'm not sure if I understand...
我不太想跟你再解释一遍
I'm not sure I want to explain it to you again.
- Dan……？ - 不行忙着
- Dan...? - No, too busy.
装快点你个蠢货
Load faster, you asshole.
Gary 别用你的手臂
Gary, get your arm out of my
挡我的空气不然打断你的手
airspace before I shoot it down.
你们好……精英
Hello... top minds.
- 下午好 - 女士
- Afternoon. - Ma'am.
那麽有Maddox的新消息吗？
So, is there a Maddox update?
你听说他招了Jonah了吗？
Have you heard that he gave Jonah a job?