天才阿公（2013）

Uncle Grandpa S01E34

Part 2 May 3, 2023, 9:01 p.m.

I'm a tangled, knotted mess inside.
是时候得把背带裤脱下挂着不♥穿♥了
It's time for me to hang up my suspenders.
可是天才叔公
But Uncle Grandpa
你刚刚解决了露营车里所有人的问题
you just fixed everyone's problems in the R.V.
自己看吧
See for yourself.
谢谢天才叔公
Thanks, Uncle Grandpa!
你真的是我救命恩人兄弟
You're a real lifesaver, bro.
更不用说数学天才了
Not to mention a mathematical genius.
都是我♥干♥的吗
I did all that?
对
Yeah!
你就是会忍♥不住去帮助别人
You can't help but help people.
都是你的天性
It's in your nature.
让我抵抗自己的天性
And for me to deny my nature
就表示我不再算是天才叔公了
would mean I would no longer be Uncle Grandpa.
而天才叔公就是我自己
And Uncle Grandpa is who I am.
所以如果你遇上了问题
So if you got a problem with that
就必须跟天才叔公打交道
you're gonna have to deal with Uncle Grandpa.
我给孩子们解决问题的办法就一个
And I help kids the only way I know how
那就是天才叔公的办法
and that is the Uncle Grandpa way!
小心点世界我要去给孩子帮忙了
Now watch out, world, 'cause I'm gonna help some kids!
从前
我想想
Let's see here...
不行太烂了
No! Horrible!
你好汤米
Hi, Tommy.
有麻烦了吗
Having a little trouble?
你的天才姨母也许能帮你脱困
Maybe your Aunt Grandma can help you out today.
我好想像我偶像那样当个知名小说家
I really want to be a famous novelist like my heroes.
[ William Shakespeare Victor Hugo
Joseph Rudyard Kipling ]
可我这一生都被困在这间房♥间里
But I've been trapped inside this room my entire life
我很怕会才思枯竭
and I'm afraid I've hit a writer's block.
我急需灵感还有冒险
What I need is some inspiration and adventure.
书虫
首先你得扔掉你那些老掉牙的工具
Well, first off, let's get rid of
those caveman tools you're using
让你用这台全新高能专业笔记本写作
and get you writing on this brand-new,
powermax pro laptop.
好吧可我看不出来
Okay, but I don't see
这跟冒险有什么关系
what this has to do with adventure.
有人说到冒险了吗
Did somebody say adventure?
冒险刚刚好就是我的中间名
Well, that just happens to be my middle name.
驾照天才・冒险・叔公
身高1米3 体重68公斤眼睛可爱头发帅气性别男
汤米准备好跟你最爱的天才叔公一起
Tommy, you ready for the most amazing expedition
参加最神奇的冒险了吗
with your favorite Uncle Grandpa?
太好啦
H-H-Heck yeah!
好
Okay!
你这是在搞什么鬼
What do you think you're doing?
去参加冒险啊
Going on an adventure.
你想来也能来
You can come if you want.
可要
But where --
好
Fine!
我会爱上看你失败的
I'm going to love watching you fail.
大家安全带都系好了嘛
Everyone have their seat belts on?
好了
Yes.
行
Okay.
出发了
Here we go.
看吧汤米冒险都是从想象开始的
So, you see, Tommy,
adventure all starts with imagination.
有你生活的现实世界
There is the world you live in
还有你脑中的世界
and the world inside your mind.
何必当一个平凡的石头做的星星呢
Why be an ordinary rock star
能在星星的石头上摇滚
when you can rock on a star rock
并且在外太空当个摇滚巨星岂不更好
rock star in outer space?
好耶
Oh, yeah!
太神了
Amazing!
我从来没这么想过
I never thought of it like that.
是我知道
Yeah, I know.
所以我才带你来这
That's why I brought you here.
而且你是否见过
And have you even seen
一场冰球赛
a hockey game
双方分别是一个女孩
between a girl
和一只专业冰球北极熊球员
and a professional-hockey-player polar-bear man?
好
Yes!
因为那也是有可能的
Because that is definitely possible, too
全都多亏天才叔公的能力
with the power of Uncle Grandpa.
你说得太对了
You're so right!
说到水里游的宠物
And when it comes to pets that live in water
何必只想着养小鱼
why think small
能养海里最大的鱼岂不更好
when you could have the biggest fish in the sea?
所以说要记住汤米
So remember, Tommy
有时候要经过一点奇幻冒险
sometimes all it takes
is a little mind-bending experience
才能以全新的方式去看世界
to see the world in a whole new way.
那就是天才叔公的方式
And that's the Uncle Grandpa way.
非常谢谢你的帮忙天才叔公
Thanks so much for your help, Uncle Grandpa.
看吧
See?
我特别会帮别人忙
I am good at helping people!
你可没帮上我的忙
Well you never helped me.
是你
It's you!
小普里西拉·琼斯
Little Priscilla Jones!
你为什么会说我没帮上你的忙
What do you mean I never helped you?
当我最需要你魔力的时候
When I needed your magic the most
你却拒绝了我
you rejected me.
那是1993年
The year was 1993.
我爱垃圾摇滚乐
我当时在给我科学展会项目做收尾
I was putting the finishing touches
on my science-fair project
突然你就过来看我
when suddenly I was visited by you.
早安普里西拉
Good morning, Priscilla!
来踢沙包吗
You hacky sack?
可牢固了
It's mad tight.
要帮忙吗
A little help?
你就是在这个时候把我的一生
That's when you shattered my life
重重地破碎了
into a million pieces.
我的项目
My project!
没你弄坏了
You ruined it.
没事的普里西拉
It's all good, Priscilla.
珍珠火腿
非常有事
No, it's not.
你得帮我修好天才叔公
You have to help me fix it, Uncle Grandpa.
你放心小姐
Don't worry, little missy.
叔公很清楚要怎么帮你
Uncle g knows exactly how to help you.
来吧
Come on!
可你并没帮上我
But you didn't help me.
却非得带我参加你的无意义冒险
Instead, you took me on
one of your pointless adventures
跟火星人踢沙包
playing hacky sack with martians.
科学展会
害我没时间修好项目
Which left me with no time to fix my project
导致我科学展会上只得了第二名
resulting in a second-place finish at the science fair.
全都是你的错我因此恨死你了
And it was all your fault and I hated you for it.
所以我选择
Which is why I chose to
作为天才姨母去给孩子们帮忙
actually help kids as Aunt Grandma
这样他们就不必再去
so they wouldn't have to
参加你的无意义冒险了
go on your pointless adventures.
可是普里西拉我有帮你啊
But Priscilla, I was helping you.
我是想向你说明
I was trying to show you that
只工作不玩乐生活绝对不祥和
all work and no fun is no way to live a life.
还是我那时单纯只是在教她踢沙包
Or was I just teaching her hacky sack?
沙包踢得太入迷了
I was really into hacky sack.
重点在于你应该要好好玩一会儿
The point is, you should have some fun once in a while
否则你可能会绷不住的
or you just might snap.
是吗
Yeah?
我来给你看看啥叫绷不住
I'll show you some snaps.
就这样了
That does it!
是时候动真格了
Time to unleash the beast.
暂停
Time out.