天才阿公（2013）

Uncle Grandpa S01E23

Part 2 May 3, 2023, 9 p.m.

That man is being robbed!
看样子这正是怪起来的大好时机
Looks like it's time to get weird!
求你了先生别伤害我
Please, sir, don't hurt me!
把你的钱都交出来
Just hand over your money.
给我手上就只有这五百块现金了
Here -- 500 bucks is all the cash I have.
还有呢
What else?!
我的结婚戒指我的七千块钱的手表
My wedding ring, my $7,000 watch
还有丝口袋绒毛
and some silk pocket lint.
中奖了
Jackpot!
你
You there!
知不知道在中华人♥民♥共和国
Do you know it's a crime in the people's republic of China
持有刀身超过3英寸的刀是犯罪行为
to own a knife with a blade length over 3 inches?
可这是纽约市啊
But this is New York City.
没错
Exactly!
现在快当一个守法良民
Now, why don't you be a good law-abiding citizen
把刀交给我好吗
and put the knife in my hands?
你不想看到我变得特别怪对吧
You don't want to see me get really weird, do you?
好好好
Okay! Okay!
别朝着我哈气了
Just stop breathing on me.
感觉真的好怪
It feels really weird!
这样就行了
There we go!
我很确信你身上有这个人的东西
Now, I believe you have some things
that belong to this man.
快把东西还回去
Go on -- return them.
现在应该说什么呢
Now, what do we say?
我我很对不起
I'm -- I'm sorry?
万岁
Hooray!
快跑吧
Run along now.
快啊
Come on.
走开啊
Get out of here.
我这就走
I'm out of here!
现在没事了吗先生
Is everything okay now, sir?
没事
Yes.
谢谢
Thank you.
我就
I'll just...
先走了吧
be on my way.
工作是不会自己做完的
Work isn't gonna finish itself.
他也太怪了
He's so weird!
这都是怪人该做的
All in a day's work for weird man!
本册完
本册完
"The end."
哇天才叔公
Wow, Uncle Grandpa!
真的超棒
That was awesome!
这我知道对不
I know! Right?
于是我在这
So, there I was
加油披萨史蒂夫
半年一度世界闻名
at the semi-annual world-famous
意大利空手道锦标赛
Italian karate tournament.
我在入口做了亲酱签名
I made my signature sauce entrance.
当然了我的粉丝们全都为之癫狂
Of course, my fans went wild.
披萨史蒂夫
然后我的对手肉丸意大利面
Then my opponent, spaghetti and meatballs
上场了
came out.
他只有三个暴躁恐龙给他喝彩
He only had three grumpy dinosaurs cheering for him.
于是比赛开始了
And so it began.
我奋力一跃使出辣香肠神拳
I went up for a flying pepperoni punch!
这家伙居然想出拳打我
This dude tried to punch me?!
但我完全躲开了嘣
But I totally avoided it, and bam! --
正对着肉丸脑袋来一记空脚踢
Karate kick to the meathead!
这时这位老哥发了怒
That's when homie got angry!
他跳了四万英里高
He jumped like 40,000 miles into the air
想使出重击
to do some crazy smasher punch
但我用披萨卷避开了
but I totally avoid it with my pizza roll.
这个小笨笨
This dumb-dumb
手被卡在地里了
got his meat hand stuck in the ground
于是我顺着他的意面胳膊一路跑上去
so I ran up his spaghetti arm
拉出了七号♥四重三连击
pulled a quadruple triple mega combo number 7
配上超神酱料
with a side of sauce-ome!
宝贝们爱到疯掉了
Babes went wild!
暴躁恐龙还是一样在喝倒彩
Grumpy dinos were hatin', as usual.
我做出了从前在电影里看的手部动作
I did some cool hand movement I saw in a movie once...
不知为何他发火了
...and for some reason, he got furious.
他接二连三出拳攻击我
He was all trying to rapid-fire punch me
但根本不是我灵活披萨反应力的对手
but it was no match for my nimble pizza reflexes.
接着他想要用扫堂腿来弄倒我
Then he was gonna try to sweep kick me.
但我拦截了下来
But I blocked it.
既然我让他失去防备了
Now that I had him totally off guard
我就试了把从电玩里学到的酷招式
I tried this cool move I learned in a video game --
超酷蓝火拳
some cool blue fire fist!
成功击倒
Total K.O.!
宝贝们又爱到发疯了
Babes went wild, again.
暴躁鬼还是在喝倒彩
Grumpsters were hatin', as use.
可是还没结束
But it wasn't over.
他试图偷袭
'Cause he tried a sneak attack!
发出一阵音爆
A crazy sonic boom!
直直撞上了墙
And crashed into the wall.
这家伙对我耍把戏
This dude did a number on me.
此时我以为全都结束了
At this point, I thought it was pretty much over.
他想用肉丸脚踩扁我
He was about crush me with his meatball foot!
但在这时我记起了我的道场先生
But just then, I remembered what my dojo master
在三天前对我说的话
said to me three days ago.
要记住披萨史蒂文
Remember, Pizza Steven
要想打败你的对手
in order to defeat your opponent
你必须吃掉你的对手
you must eat your opponent.
就是这样
Of course!
这样就成了
It made perfect sense.
现在我准备好出来面对这份吃的了
Now I was ready to take on Mr. Food with attitude.
我纵身一跃抓起一根意面
I leapt up, grabbed a string of spaghetti
把它吸到嘴里
and slurped up that bad boy!
再见了意面宝贝
Pasta la vista, baby.
我把他吃光了
I finished him off.
大家都特别爱我
Everyone loved me.
事情就是这样
And that's what happened.
所以说你没趁我上卫生间的时候
So you didn't just eat my plate of
spaghetti and meatballs
偷吃我那盘肉丸意面
while I was in the bathroom?
没
Nope.
我那时在参加空手道锦标赛兄弟
I was at an Italian karate tournament, bro.
你们当时也在场
You guys were there, too.
不信问叔公
Ask Uncle G.
天才叔公纠正一下这个白♥痴♥
Uncle Grandpa, set this fool straight.
我们刚刚是在
Were we just
意大利空手道锦标赛现场吗
at an Italian karate tournament?
不知道
I don't know.
微核武炉300
披萨史蒂夫我们刚刚是在
Pizza Steve, were we just
意大利空手道锦标赛现场吗
at an Italian karate tournament?
没错叔公
Totally, Uncle G.
那我们应该就在场格斯先生
I guess we were, Mr. Gus.
看吧
See?!
就跟你说了特别超神
I told you! And it was epic!
好可我还是不信
Yeah, well, I still don't believe it.
幸好我还剩了点千层面
Lucky for you, I got some leftover lasagna.
早安
Good morning.
晚安
Good night.
真是太好吃了
That was quite delicious.