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Philip, "Fine" doesn't cut it.
这不是小事 这首曲子...
It doesn't cut it. This...
这首曲子我们从小就听她弹
This is a melody she's played us since we were kids.
这对她来说很重要 如果出了岔子
This means a lot to her, and if something goes wrong,
-她绝对会彻底崩溃的 -你听我说
- she's going to be utterly devastated. - Hey, listen to me.
一定会顺利的 好吗 深呼吸
She'll be fine, okay? Just breathe.
她没问题的
She'll be fine.
是的
Yeah.
是的 只要找到调 她就会进入状态
Yes. She'll lock in once she finds her key.
这才对嘛
There you go.
凯文就不能在我们准备的时候
Kevin couldn't have dressed the twins
给双胞胎穿个衣服吗
while we were getting ready?
我要给他画个鸡鸡作为惩罚
I'm gonna leave him a penis doodle as punishment.
稍等
Oh, hold up.
你坐立难安
把大门望穿
你轻抿酒杯 呼吸深邃
你在等待谁
不 我决不会让你
迷失在无人涉足的土地
即使只能看一眼 我也甘愿冒险
让我们把彼此寻见
这是什么
What's this?
《我决不会让你迷失》 女人的字迹
"I would never leave you lost" in female handwriting.
这是封情书吗
Is this a love letter?
我的天 我的天 贝丝 看 胸罩
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Beth, look, a bra.
就在这个带花图案的披肩旁边
Ooh, and it's right next to some kind of floral wrap thingy.
凯文
Kevin.
这里简直就像个犯罪现场
It's like a frickin' crime scene in here.
卫生间里甚至还有化妆品
There's even makeup in the bathroom.
那其实是我的
Oh, that's actually mine.
凯文有时会借用我的粉底液
Kevin borrows my foundation sometimes.
我们肤色一样
We have the same skin tone.
凯文居然在周末婚礼上有地下恋情
Kevin is having a secret wedding weekend romance,
这些都是证据
and these are the clues.
像是现实中的侦探故事
It's like a true crime whodunit.
但和性有关
But with sex.
你觉得他昨晚和谁睡了
Who do you think he slept with last night?
这很好
That's really good.
或许我们该拍一张不拿酒杯的
Uh, maybe we do, uh, just one without all the wine glasses.
好
Okay.
就像那样
Yep. Just like that.
可能是婚礼歌♥手
It could be the wedding singer.
-菲利普的朋友 -她昨晚参加了排练
- Philip's friend. - She was at the rehearsal last night.
而且他们在说话
And they were talking.
就这两下子吗 凯文
You ain't slick, Kevin.
-就这两下子吗 凯文 -不
- You ain't slick, Kev... - No.
别这样
Don't do that.
等等
Wait.
你看到索菲看他的眼神了吗
Did you see that look Sophie just gave him?
我看到了吗 我都感觉到了
Did I see it? I felt it.
他俩在一起的过往可真疯狂
They have crazy history together.
疯狂的过往
Insane history.
但等等 她结婚了
But wait. She's married.
-对 这不是她的风格 -说得对
- Oh, yeah. That's not her M.O. - No.
你好
Hello...
那是卡西迪 他带的女伴
Then there's Cassidy, his plus-one.
是的 但只是朋友
Right. Just as a friend, though.
他热辣 她滚烫 而且都是单身汪
He sizzles, she sizzles, they're both single.
我们多留几个选项
Let's keep our options open.
-这下可太有乐子了 -可不是嘛
- This is gonna be fun. - Yeah, it will.
但是 妹子 我就问问
Oh, but hey, girl, hey, I'm just checking in.
你确定你八卦这些没问题吗
You sure you're cool with figuring this out?
我是说 你差点就和他结婚了
I mean, you were gonna marry the guy.
你还看过他的老二
You have seen his junk.
贝丝 已经过去五年了
Beth. It was a half decade ago.
我和他有一对五岁的双胞胎
I have five-year-old twins with the man
和我的丈夫有个九个月大的孩子
and a nine-month-old with my husband.
我需要这点乐子
I need this.
那我们快找出他上了谁吧
So let's find out who he banged.
让我们开启阿加莎·克里斯蒂模式
Let's get our Agatha Christie on.
好了 皮尔森一家
Okay, Pearsons.
往中间挤一挤 快点
Tuck in a little. Come on.
你知道吗 我在想
Oh, you know what? I was thinking,
关于皮尔森参议员和谁合影
we got to be really careful
我们要非常谨慎
who Senator Pearson takes photos with.
以利亚 无意冒犯
So, Elijah, bud? No offense,
-但你确定你不在什么 -老天
- but are we sure you're not on any... - Oh, boy.
逃犯名单之类的东西上面吗
...you know, fugitive lists or anything like that?
作为今天的指定保姆
You know, as designated babysitter for the day,
我不想听奶爸的什么胡话
I just, I'm not gonna take any crap from the Manny.
好了 皮尔森参议员
All right, Senator Pearson,
你最好去找一下你的保镖
you better go get your security detail.
以利亚火♥药♥味很浓啊
Elijah's getting aggressive.
我的女儿们就是我的保镖 我很安全
Uh, my daughters are my detail, so I'm safe.
你觉得安妮能挡枪子吗
Okay, you're trusting Annie to stop a bullet?
这可不是凯文·科斯特纳级别的保镖
This is not Kevin Costner-level security.
她反应很快
She's really fast.
很搞笑 杰克
Very funny, Jack.
那是凯文 妈妈
That's Kevin, Mom.
爸爸已经离开我们很久了 记得吗
Dad hasn't been with us for a while, remember?
-兰德尔 -你为什么这么说
- Uh, Randall... - Why would you say that?
不不不
No, no, no, no. S--
你为什么那么说 兰德尔
W-Why would you say that, Randall?
-我是认真的 -我在这 我在这
- Seriously. - I'm right here. I'm right here.
-我在这 我在这 -我是认真的
- I'm right here. I'm right here. - It's not true.
没事了 我在这
It's okay, I'm right here.
-我在这 -我不知道他为什么那样说
- I'm right here. - I don't know why he would say that.
抱歉 我很抱歉 妈妈
Sorry. I'm sorry, Mom.
好了 我数三下
Okay, let's burn one on three.
一 二 三
One, two, three.
很好
Great.
我们的生活 第六季第十三集
看看这些大作
Oh, wow. Look at these.
看看这些大作 我们...
Look at these. We...
要把这些卖♥♥了 拿来给你们付大学学费
are gonna sell these to help pay for college.
我都不记得你上一次
You know, I can't remember the last time
戴帽子是什么时候了
I saw you wearing a hat.
我可能做了件
I may have done something...
傻事
kind of stupid.
天啊
Oh. Wow.
好看还是不好看
Good wow or bad wow?
不一样了 不一样了
It's different. It's different.
我 我 我
I'm, uh... I'm-I'm...
我要再想想
I'm getting my head around it.
没事的 妈妈
It's all right, Mom.
头发会长回来的
Hair grows back.
这不行 我想要以前的妈妈
It's not all right. I want old Mom back.
走下木板
Walk the plank!
这是什么 他 他在做什么
Wh-What is this? What is he-- what is he doing?
他在扮虎克船长
He's playing Captain Hook.
因为他觉得我看起来像彼得·潘
Because he thinks I look like Peter Pan.
我的天 他
Oh, my God. He...
小朋友 这不好笑
Uh, not funny, pal!
看着我 这不好笑
You look at me. Not funny.
不 把这个给我
No. Give me this.
你们三个 去餐桌那里 马上
All three of you, dining table, right now.
我们要谈一谈该怎么和你妈妈讲话
We are gonna talk about how you speak to your mother.
所以 事已至此
Okay, so that just happened.
这就是新常态了
It's the new normal.
我知道
I'm aware.
但还是
Still, it's...
她过去几天时不时会
She's been calling Kev "Jack" on and off
把小凯叫成"杰克"
for the past couple days.
可能只是因为
Probably just triggered by, you know,
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