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I'm just feeling a little snacky.
-我不了 谢谢 -小凯
- No, thanks. - Hey, Kev.
我都忘了 你这周末有大事对吧
You know what? I forgot. You got a big weekend, huh?
也没有
It's just...
就是去费城待两天 看看我给我妈建的房♥子
going to Pennsylvania for 48 hours to check on the house
进度怎么样
that I'm building for my mother.
这就是明星不为人知的一面啊
That's the side of celebrities that people don't get to see.
我和以利刚在玩
Eli and I were just hanging out.
你们是在卧室里玩吗
You were hanging out in the bedroom?
是的 凯文 我是成年女性了
Yes, Kevin, because I am a grown woman.
而且我们基本是在看油管视频
Also we were mainly watching YouTube videos.
以利亚 闭嘴
Elijah, shush
但孩子们会想爸爸的
But the kids are gonna miss their daddy...
-超级想 对不对 -对
- so much, aren't you? - Yeah.
对 绝对的
Yes, you are.
明天我们要带他们去动物园
We were going to take them to the zoo tomorrow.
错过第一次动物园 你可以吗
Are you okay with missing first zoo?
可以 没事 没关系
Yeah. Yeah. No, it...it's fine, it's fine.
第一次去动物园可以归你
You can have first zoo.
他们今早跟我第一次看了
They watched their first episode of Entourage
《我家也有大明星》
this morning with me,
在成长经历方面 我已经满足了
so I am all set as far as formative experiences go.
小凯
Hey, Kev.
我俩是不是该留一下电♥话♥
Should you and I exchange numbers?
-以防万一 -好
- You know, just in case. - Yeah.
-好主意 你的号♥码是什么 -不不不
- That's a great idea. What's yours? - No, no, no.
刚隔空投送给你了
Just AirDropped it to you. Poof!
在你手♥机♥里了
It's in your phone.
联♥系♥人
你在做什么
What're you doing?
我现在丧极了
Well, I'm officially at my lowest point
上个月办完了离婚手续
since the divorce was final last month.
马蒂走了去跟瑞安待五天 而我...
Matty left for five days with Ryan, and...
现在正整理他的神奇宝贝卡
currently cleaning up his Pokemon cards
努力不哭出来
and trying not to cry.
听着 我有个主意
Listen, I have an idea.
不如你
Why don't you
这周末跟我一起去小木屋
come out with me to the cabin this weekend?
有空房♥间 尼奇叔叔在监工
There's an extra room, and Uncle Nicky's supervising the construction.
我肯定他
I'm sure he'd be...
见到你会很高兴
happy to see you.
对了 尼奇要带他的新女友去
Oh. Nicky's bringing his new girlfriend.
这样的话 好 或许...
I mean, yeah, I could...
或许我能去
I could do that, maybe.
等等 要约炮吗
Wait, is this a sex thing?
不
No.
不要吧 我是说
No? I mean,
我们都是成年人 对吧
we are both adults, right,
以前也上过床
who have slept with each other in the past.
我俩都单身
We're both very single,
都很寂寞
both very lonely.
我不知道 如果要约的话
I don't know. What's, what's your temperature
你什么态度
on this being a sex thing?
我怎样都行
I mean, I could go either way.
但说清楚更好
It'd be nice to know, though,
因为会影响我带的行李和打扮风格
'cause it'll change my packing and grooming.
当然了
Of course. Yeah.
要我说 我接受这种可能吗 是的
I mean, am I open to it? Yes.
我期待吗 不
Am I expecting it? No.
我问你的时候有这么想吗
Did I ask you with that in mind?
没有 但后来你问了
No, but then... then you said,
"要约炮吗" 我...
"Is this a sex thing," And I, I...
-我就来精神了 -天啊
- I perked up. - Oh, my God.
把地址发给我 我明天下午到
Send me the address. I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon.
到时候见
See you there.
你好啊
Hey. Greetings,
我的老婆
Wife of mine.
今天怎么样
How's things?
-不错吗 -不错吗
- Good day? - Good day?
并不是
Not really.
几乎算是糟糕的一天了
I'd say it was a borderline crappy day.
开了很多会 纠结繁文缛节
There's meetings and red tape,
-单调的午餐沙拉 -我一直跟你说
- Lackluster lunch salad. - I keep telling you,
-中午得吃点碳水 亲爱的 -嗯
- you have to have a carb at lunch, baby. - Yes.
我跟你说过 在里面加个土豆
I told you that, get a potato in there somewhere.
但现在是周五晚上
But it is Friday night,
我即将迎来整个周末
and I have the entire weekend ahead of me
和我漂亮的工作狂老婆一起度过
with my beautiful, overworked wife.
包括明晚一顿浪漫晚餐
Including a romantic dinner tomorrow night
在9街的泰国餐馆 吃海鲈鱼
at the Thai spot on 9th Street with that branzino.
海鲈鱼 真是种性感的鱼
The branzino. That's a sexy fish.
之后 或许我们可以跳跳舞
Okay, and after that, I'm thinking maybe we do a little dancing.
-不 不行 -什么 怎么了
- No. No. - What? What?
我得在变得更郁闷之前
I'm gonna have to burst this fantasy bubble
戳破这个幻想泡泡
before I get too depressed.
明晚不行
We can't do tomorrow night.
行 我们可以 必须可以 为什么
Se, se puede. We can, and we must. Why? Why?
因为黛佳说马利克要进城待一天
Because Deja said that Malik is in town for 24 hours
明晚想跟我们一起吃晚饭
and wants to have dinner with us tomorrow night?
纠正 明晚给我们做晚饭
Correction, make dinner for us tomorrow night.
他想给我们做晚饭
He wants to make us dinner?
他打什么主意
What's his game?
不知道 但我感觉有点可疑
I don't know, but it smells a little branzino to me.
或许是要道歉
Well, maybe it's an apology
因为他参与了她去波士顿的秘密旅行
for participating in her secret trip to Boston
帮她撒谎 做了些我不想谈的事
and the lying and the... stuff I don't like to talk about.
我希望是道歉 但我不知道
I hope it's an apology, but I don't know.
感觉我们需要
Kind of feel like we need to...
玩一下"最糟情况"假设游戏
"Worst case scenario" this bish.
你先
You go.
好吧
Okay.
显然
Well, obviously,
她怀孕了 来吧
She's pregnant. Go
他们去了维加斯
They went to Vegas...
趁我们睡着时私奔了
...and eloped while we were sleeping.
-没怀孕 只是结婚了 到你 -好吧
- Not preggo, just married. You go. -Okay.
马利克上了甜点 在黛佳的蛋奶酥里
Malik brings out dessert and there's an engagement ring
有一枚求婚戒指
in Deja's souffle,
他当着我们的面向她求婚
and he proposes to her in front of all of us.
他求婚之前把我拉到后面的门廊
He pulls me out onto the back porch
请求我的准许 然后...
before he proposes to ask for permission, and, uh...
我不知道 他选后面的门廊是因为
I don't know, he chooses the back porch because
在那里我们深聊过几次...
we've had some really good talks out there...
玩游戏 兰德尔
Play the game, Randall.
到你了
You go.
黛佳想要领养马利克的女儿
Deja wants to adopt Malik's daughter,
他们一起搬到这里 跟我们永远住一起
and they move in here together and live with us forever.
这游戏玩不下去了
We need a new game.
好了 你觉得怎么样
All right. What do you think?
戴帽子 还是不戴帽子
Hat or no hat?
不戴帽子
No hat.
男人戴帽子通常是想要藏起头发
Guys in hats are usually trying to hide their hair,
而你的头发很棒
and you have great hair.
我很喜欢你的卷发
I really like your curls.
我的口红怎么样 太过了吗
What about my lipstick, is it too much?
没有 你看起来...很好
No. You look, um... very nice.
太过了
It's too much.
好了
Okay.
好的
All right.
-你准备好了吗 -完全没有
- You ready for this? - Not at all.
好的 我想想...
Okay, let's see, um...
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