我们的生活

This Is Us S06E09

Part 6 April 7, 2022, 12:39 p.m.

开销会有多大
to send Jack to a special school if he needs one?
我算过
Because I have.
更别提他需要用到的科技辅助了
Never mind all of the assistive technology he's gonna need.
你知不知道光是一个盲文记事本就要六千块
Do you know a braille notetaker alone costs six grand?
还有很多这个还只是
And that-that-that... that's just
他跟我们住在一起需要的花销
when he's living at home with us.
如果他有一天想去上大学
What if he wants to go off to college
想自己生活怎么办
or live on his own one day?
我对咱们儿子有很大的期望凯特
I have big dreams for our son, Kate,
不管他需要什么想过上什么样的生活
and I'm gonna be damn sure that he has whatever he needs
我拼了命都要满足他
to live his life however he so chooses.
如果在洛杉矶干一份很一般的工作
And we can't afford any of that on an assistant teacher salary
就拿那一点点钱
and some middling job in Los Angeles
我们连家教老师的钱都付不起
that doesn't pay me any real money.
是钱你还是没告诉我多少钱
Right. Money. Still haven't told me the number.
不光是为了钱对不对
It's not just about the money, is it?
是为了你自己对吧
It's kind of about you. Right?
看着你在那里我说不上来
Watching you up here-- I don't know--
你大概从来没有这么快乐过对吧
you're pretty much the happiest you've ever been, aren't you?
凯特我离家十万八千里
Kate, I am away from my family.
一周要坐好几趟飞机我筋疲力尽
I'm-I'm on four planes a week. I am exhausted.
是但你很快乐不是吗
Yeah, but you're happy, right?
你很满意你的工作你很招人喜欢
You're happy with your job, with your stature.
在我看来你就是很快乐
Personally, you're happy.
我不明白你为什么不能承认这一点
I-I don't know why you just can't admit it.
是是我很快乐我很快乐
Yes, yes, I'm happy! I'm happy.
我没想到我有一天要问我老婆这个问题
And this is gonna sound like a strange question to ask my wife,
难道你不希望我快乐吗
but don't you want that for me?
我当然希望你快乐
Of course I want that for you.
那我怎么感觉不是这么回事
Then why doesn't it feel that way?
托比有的时候我看着你
You know, sometimes I look at you, Toby,
我都不知道你是谁了
and I don't even know who you are anymore.
我不知道
I don't.
你喝着名贵的香槟
You drink expensive champagne.
你知道怎么活跃气氛
You know how to work a room.
你不会再穿着老土的夏威夷衫
You're not the guy who wore those terrible Hawaiian shirts
大声说着不合时宜的笑话了
or would make those loud, inappropriate jokes.
你不会再看着酒水菜单
You're not the guy who'd ask for the wine list
然后说"左边这列我全都要"了
and says, "Bring me the whole left side."
你不再是那个初次约会时傻乎乎的人
The goofy guy from our first date,
那个以前的托比我爱上的那个人
the Old Toby, the guy that I fell in love with.
我好想他
I miss him.
我想他想到整个周末我都在幻想着
I miss him so much that I've been picturing him
他在这里陪我
this weekend here with me.
所以整个周末我一直觉得
So this whole time that I've been thinking
我们是在联络感情
that we're really connecting,
而你其实一直在想象
you've just been imagining yourself
你和另一个版本的我在一起吗
with a different version of me?
我刚刚没这么说我不是这个意思
That is not what I said. That's not what I'm saying.
-他他在这里吗 -别这样
- Is he... is he here? - Don't do that.
他现在在吗也许我们应该
Is he here now? Oh, you know, maybe we should just...
我们应该请他出来我们让以前的托比出来
we should get him out here. Hey, let's get Old Toby out here
一起开心一下怎么样
to join in on this fun! Huh? Hey, you know...
凯特你知道我想跟以前的托比说什么吗
you know what I'd love to say to Old Toby, Kate?
他是一团糟
He was a mess.
他非常痛苦不安而且他讨厌自己
He was miserable and insecure and self-loathing.
所有他干过的那些蠢事
And all-all of that goofiness
还有那些糟糕的笑话都是出于自我保护
and-and the loud jokes-- that was out of self-defense.
凯特你爱上的是一种应对机制
Kate, you fell in love with a coping mechanism.
再说了如果那个家伙一点都没改变的话
And FYI, if that guy hadn't changed,
他可能早就从桥上跳下去或者死于心脏病了
he would have jumped off a bridge or died of a heart attack
让他自己彻底成为一个笑话
making a joke at his own expense.
等等最后那一步我差点就完成了
Wait. I almost did that last part.
而且现在的我有那么糟糕吗
What is so terrible about me right now?
就因为我不想穿得像一个小丑
That I don't want to dress like a clown?
还是因为我想为我的家人买♥♥一栋漂亮的房♥子
That I want to buy a nice house for my family?
托比我不知道
I don't know, Toby.
你就是不一样了
You're just different.
难道你没变吗凯特
And you're not, Kate?
为什么我们一直在聊我
Why is this conversation all about me?
当初我们刚在一起的时候
When-when... when we first got together,
我觉得是我们一起对抗全世界
it felt like you and me against the world.
但现在我们都无法单独相处20分钟
And today, you couldn't go 20 minutes
你就想和孩子们视频
just us, without FaceTiming the kids.
你直接推♥翻♥了我花好几周时间
After shooting down an entire day
为你安排的周末计划
that I spent weeks planning for you.
还要逼我承认我很开心
Admit I'm happy?
凯特那你呢
Kate, what about you?
你很喜欢你现在过的生活
You love the life that you are living,
你自己构建起来的生活里面没有我
this life that you are building without me,
你是一个全职工作的超级妈妈
where you're the... you're the working supermom
还能再和自己哥哥住在一起
who gets to live with her brother again.
你总算成为了完整的自己
You finally get to be the fully realized version of yourself,
现在你只需要把我从家里赶出去就好了
and all you had to do was get me out of that house.
在我小的时候我会...
When I was younger, I would...
其实我根本不敢想象未来的样子
well, I couldn't even think about the future
因为未来就是一片空白
because it just was blank.
而且
And...
这种感觉持续了
I felt that way for a really...
很长很长的时间直到我遇到了你
a long, long time until I met you.
你你填补了我的未来中非常多的空白
And you... you took away a lot of that emptiness.
所以是的托比现在我生活得很充实
And so, yeah, Toby, now I have a full life
是我过去从不敢想象的充实
that I could have never dreamed.
我感觉很健康有亲密的关系
And I feel healthy, I feel connected,
我觉得我的生活是有意义的
I feel like I have a purpose.
我爱我的生活我真的真的很开心
I love my life. I'm-I'm really, really happy.
但还有一件事让我真的非常伤心
Except for the one thing that's making me really, really sad.
谢谢
Thank you.
我们本应该聊聊洛杉矶工作那件事
We should have talked about the L.A. Offer
哪怕那份工作不算好
even if it wasn't a good one.
我们也许还应该好好聊一聊
We probably should have also talked
其实在我大部分的生活中
about the fact that for most of my life,
我一直非常非常渴求在工作上被认可
I have been desperate, desperate to feel valued at my job,
而不是总觉得自己是多余的
to not just feel like I'm taking up space.
我有同感
I can relate.
我现在完全不多余凯特
And... I'm not just taking up space here, Kate.
你也一样
And neither are you.
尽管我四处奔波筋疲力尽
As wrung out and as exhausted as I am,
但我还是很为我们开心
I'm happy for us.
我们都找到了自己的价值
We have both figured out our worth.
我们都提升了
We evolved.
我爱你我爱我们的家
I love you. I love our family.
但家庭的维系需要稳定的后勤保障
But there are some real-world logistics at play here,
所以我们必须搬到旧金山来
and we are gonna have to move to San Francisco.
这样才能有稳定的后勤保障
That's how these logistics are gonna play out.
我需要你同意搬过来
I need you to get on board because...
因为搬来这里是唯一能维系我们家庭的方法
moving here is the only way that we are gonna stay a family.
这是唯一的选择
It is the only option.
我要出去透透气
I'm gonna go get some air.
好吧
Okay.
好了伙计们是时候离开这里了
All right, gang, it's time to get the hell out of here.
怎么离开
How?
翻出去
We climb.
凯特宝贝看着我看着我
Hey, Katie girl, look at me. Look at me.
我相信你能做到的
I believe you can do it.
还有妈妈兰德尔和小凯
Okay, and Mommy, Randall and Kevin--
他们也都相信你能做到
they believe you can do it.
现在唯一欠缺的就是
Now the only thing that needs to happen
你也要相信你自己能做到
is that you believe you can do it.
好吗
Okay?