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我该咋办
What do I do?
游泳池里还戴眼镜的男孩没有舞伴吗
The kid who wears glasses in the pool can't get a date to prom?
你咋知道的
How'd you know that?
不去舞会的唯一原因就是
The only reason you wouldn't go to prom
没有人约你啊
is 'cause you don't have a date.
所以你是说 如果有人约他去了
So, you're saying if he did have a date,
我就不用选了
I wouldn't have to choose?
不知道 我说完我的
I don't know. I stopped listening
就没听你说的了
after I was done talking.
当我爸帮我找人约戴夫·金去舞会的时候
ADULT ADAM: While my dad helped me get Dave Kim to prom,
杰夫证发愁不知道如何追回艾丽卡
Geoff was stuck on how to get Erica back.
JTP
JTP.
JTP
ALL: JTP!
我意识到
It's come to my attention
我再见艾丽卡之前
that before I see Erica again,
我需要振作起来
I need to get out of my funk
变成最好的自己
and become the best version of myself.
- 不错 - 加油
Good for you!Amen to that.
我很赞成这个主意
I am way behind this idea, too,
但是能先暂停一下看看巴里穿的啥吗
but can we pause to find out what Barry is wearing?
啥啊
What?
这些是这个星球上最具男子气概的人的丝线
These are the threads of the manliest man on the planet.
他痴迷于鳄鱼邓迪
He's obsessed with Crocodile Dundee,
而且已经渗透到他的一切了
and it's bleeding into everything he does.
你们不要质疑自己
You should stop questioning it
也要发觉自己内在的邓迪
and embrace your inner Dundee, too.
没有这回事好伐
That's not a thing.
- 你还爱艾丽卡对吧 - 最爱
You still love Erica, right?More than anything.
在这个可怜的州里 她是不会想跟你和好的
Well, she'll never want you back in this pitiful state.
也不算可怜吧
I wouldn't say "pitiful."
如果又热又湿的垃圾长了个屁♥股♥ 那就是你了
If hot, wet garbage had a butt, you'd be it.
但是好的一面是
The silver lining, this is a chance
你也有机会成为艾丽卡梦中的加强版杰夫
to become the new and improved Geoff of Erica's dreams.
我就是想这样
I mean, that is sort of what I'm going for.
既然这样
And with that, the floor is open
那就开始想办法
to how Geoff can be less
如何让杰夫不再成为那个
of a sad puddle of despair
大家都鄙夷的讨厌鬼吧
that everyone despises.
可以先从个人卫生做起
You could start with basic personal hygiene.
留个胡子
You could grow a beard.
正确饮食和适度锻炼也是好主意
And proper diet and exercise are always a good idea.
不 要搞就搞个大的
No, something big.
让艾丽卡能知道
Something that would show Erica
我彻底升级了的那种
that I've sampled life.
不如跟踪然后杀死一只鳄鱼
How about stalking and killing a croc
然后用肚子上的鳄鱼皮做个背心穿啊
and making a vest out of its supple belly skin?
我也想试试飞镖呢
Or I've always wanted to try darts.
你没玩过飞镖吗
You've never played darts before?
因为如果我不小心失手然后扎到一位高僧
'Cause what if I miss and I hit a foreign dignitary
然后我们开始吵架
and I trigger an international squabble
继而引发了三战怎么办
that spirals into World War III?
我要记下来
I'm writing it down.
由此 杰夫想出了
ADULT ADAM: With that, Geoff came up with
最平凡的临终愿望
the most underwhelming bucket list ever.
那你要先尝试哪个呢
So, what are you gonna try first?
别那么谨慎了
Let's throw caution to the wind
先试试中辣的莎莎酱吧
and try some medium-spicy salsa.
好的 给你准备好了一个
All right. Got one loaded up for ya.
- 我没准备好呢 - 杰夫
I'm not ready.BARRY: Geoff.
你觉得鳄鱼邓迪是天生就有战胜致命袋熊的本能吗
You think Crocodile Dundee was just born with instincts to outwit a deadly wombat?
战胜啥啊
A what?
要么是小熊要么是大松鼠吧
I think it's either a small bear or a fat squirrel.
好 如果我吃了薯片
Okay, if I eat the chip,
你能不能保证再别说什么鳄鱼邓迪了
do you promise to never bring up Crocodile Dundee again?
不能保证 鳄鱼·施沃茨
No promises, Alligator Schwartz.
快吃吧
Eat the Dorito.
还不是很辣啊
Not too much heat.
什么东西着了
Okay, now some burning,
但我可以忍♥过去的
but I'm gonna fight through it.
我手头辣死了
Oh, wow! My tongue is on fire!
等等 消退了
Wait. It's subsiding.
我挺过来了
I survived.
上面写的微辣
The jar says "mild."
你完全没有成功
You haven't succeeded in any way.
抱歉 哥们 很接近了
Sorry, buddy.You were so close.
我侄子都能吃那玩意
My cousin's baby eats that stuff.
即便是微辣 我也觉得我开始了自我发觉之旅呢
Even though it was mild, I feel like I've started my journey to self-discovery.
微辣 微辣
ALL: Mild! Mild!
微辣 微辣
Mild! Mild!
你来了
There she is!
祝贺幸福的一对重归于好
Congratulations to the happy couple, together again.
我们没有和好
We're not back together.
这样的话
Oh. Well, in that case...
老妈 那是一整个蛋糕啊
Mom, that was a whole cake!
我一天做六个蛋糕 大部分你都没见过
I make six cakes a day, most of which you never see.
发生了什么事
What happened?
杰夫在和一个叫宝拉·霍根的澳洲小妞约会
Geoff's seeing some saucy Aussie named Paula Hogan.
澳大利亚
Australia?
那些人把虾丢到烤架上 还不加奶酪
Those people throw shrimps on the barbie with no cheese whatsoever.
奶酪太重要了
That's definitely the takeaway here.
最糟的是 我还是从巴里那儿听说的
Worst of all, I had to hear it from Barry.
等等 你没跟杰夫谈过吗
Wait, so you didn't talk to Geoff?
所以呢
So?
所以 我爱你弟弟 全身心的爱
So, I love your brother with every fiber of my being,
但他勉强可以称为正常人
but he's a barely functioning human.
等等 你是在变相承认
Wait, are you actually admitting
你的某个孩子可能有缺陷
one of your children might have a flaw?
拜托
Please.
他是个完美的天使 没有任何缺点和弱点
He is a perfect angel without any fault or weakness.
但你没理解错 我们必须找出真♥相♥
But 100% yes. We've gotta find out the truth.
当我妈妈发誓要找出关于杰夫的真♥相♥时
ADULT ADAM: As my mom swore to find the facts on Geoff,
我正进行着自己的使命
I was on a mission of my own...
帮我最好的朋友找个舞伴
Land my best bud a prom date.
戴夫·金 留着像披头士乐队或者是
Dave Kim. Mop-top like a Beatle
杰出女演员琳达·亨特一样的发型
or the excellent character actress Linda Hunt.
他穿高领毛衣很好看
He looks great in a turtleneck.
像个船长
Like a sea captain.
等他摘下眼镜就知道了
Wait till he pops those glasses off.
当然 他会几近失明并陷入恐慌
Sure, he will be legally blind and fly into a panic
他的医生称之为"阴影恐惧症"
that his doctor calls "the shadow terrors,"
但这样更能激起火花 不是吗
but hubba-hubba, am I right?
不是
You are not.
呕 才不要
Ew. No.
- 是呀 - 好的
Yes.Okay.
既然你都说了是了
Well, now that you've said yes,
那么甩了马特·迪伦
what about instead of Matt Dillon,
和戴夫·金一起去怎么样
you're going with Dave Kim?
我刚想起来 我所有的祖母都去世了
I-I just remembered, all my grandmas just died.
这比我想象的要难
ADULT ADAM: It was gonna be harder than I thought.
但后来 我想起了金·戴夫的旧情人卡拉
But then, I remembered Dave Kim's old flame, Carla.
是她啦
There she is.
世界上第二漂亮的女孩
The second-prettiest girl in the world.
谁是第一 我要杀了她
Who's first? I'll kill her dead.
我女朋友
I meant a-after my girlfriend.
你有女朋友了
You have a girlfriend?
天 出来后 世界都变了
Man, the world has changed since I got out.
出来
"Got out"?
从学校出来吗
Of school?
对呀
Sure.
我是来唤醒你对初恋的回忆
The reason I'm here is to remind you of your first great love.
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