金色年代

The Goldbergs S08E19

Part 2 May 24, 2021, 2:45 p.m.

而且你好像穿的还是多年前的那件衣服
and I think you might be wearing the same shirt.
来吧会滑走你的烦恼的
Come on. It'll melt all your troubles away.
而且啊我今天早上都没吃盐
Besides, I didn't eat salt this morning
脚都不肿能穿下溜冰鞋呢
so my skates would fit.
- 就一圈哦 - 走吧
One lap. Let's do it.
我爸和我姐去溜冰之时
While my dad and sister got on wheels,
我妈正要帮我叫停我的恶作剧
my mom was helping me hit the brakes on my prank.
你确定天衣无缝吗
You sure you were discreet?
别担心宝贝
Don't worry, Schmoo.
我给巴尔校长送了一个留言
I sent Principal Ball a memo
都是从杂♥志♥上减下来的字
made with cut-up words out of magazine,
就跟赎金信一样的
like a ransom note.
我真应该去当绑匪呢
I should have been a kidnapper.
如果能让你有点成就点
If it makes you feel any better,
你确实偷走了我大部分童年
you did steal most of my childhood.
真的蛮有成就感
It does. Ta!
下次好运咯毕业生
Better luck next time, seniors.
我刚刚收到一个奇怪的线报
I just got a hot tip from an anonymous oddball
称有人要恶作剧比利·P
that Billy P here is about to be pranked,
所以毕业之前我要把雕像锁起来了
so he will be locked away till graduation.
巴尔得一分
Point, Ball.
- 我靠居然成了 - 什么成了
Holy crap! It worked! What worked?
- 别生气啊 - 大家都进来
Don't be mad? Everybody inside!
真的来了
It's happening!
不管是谁搞得
Whoever pulled this one off,
这是今年最佳恶作剧了
best prank in years.
从一个不顾自身安全
That means a lot coming from the teacher
还要骑摩托车的老师嘴里说出的表扬
who rides a motorcycle
真的非常珍贵非常难得呢
despite all the safety data.
如果阎王爷想要带我走也得先追上我再说啊
If the devil wants to take me, he's got to catch me first.
这个故事可以讲给以后的孩子们听了
What an amazing life lesson to tell children.
你们不带我啊
You guys did this without me?
你真的很贴心很善良
Look, we love that you're a sweet, nice boy,
所以我们只能指望你去跟你妈大嘴巴了
which is why we kind of counted on you to blab to your mom.
然后巴尔校长每天执着于保护外面的雕像
And that got Principal Ball fixated on the statue outside
我们才能把驴牵进来啊
so we could get these sweet beasts inside.
你知道吗驴的记忆力很惊人的
Did you know donkeys have phenomenal memories
而且可以逻辑很灵活的解决问题呢
and a logical, flexible approach to problem-solving?
谢谢你指点啊
Thanks, Jack Hanna.
但我的重点是你们利用了我啊
But I kind of am focusing on the fact that you used me.
其实你是最重要的部分啊
If anything, you were the most important part.
虽然是排在秘密搞定两头驴运进来之后吧
Right after securing and transporting two donkeys in secrecy.
驴子在电脑室交♥配♥呢
The burros are making love in the computer lab.
我靠了
Damn it!
这个恶作剧太牛逼了
It's such a good prank.
正当我朋友欺骗了
As my friends had made an ass of me,
我爸正在努力保持平衡
my dad was trying not to fall on his.
看我们做到了啊
See? We're doing the thing.
差不多做到了吧
Sort of doing it.
你撞到安全锥上面跌倒了然后大喊别管我
You hit that cone, fell, and you said, "Leave me."
但你没有不管我啊
But you didn't.
然后我们第一圈都快遛完了
And here we are, about to finish our first lap.
至少没人看到
At least no one's here to witness it.
差点就没人看到了啊
Well, almost no one.
埃里克·戈登堡
Erica Goldberg?
好久没见了啊婊贝儿
I haven't seen you in forever, bitch.
是的啊婊贝儿
I know... Bitch.
大哥我是卡拉艾丽卡高中最好的朋友
Yo, guy. I'm Carla. Erica's best friend from high school.
这是我爸你们见过好多次了啊
That's my dad. You've met him like 100 times.
对哦你穿上裤子我都不认识你了
Oh, yeah! I didn't recognize you with your pants on.
我天
Oh, man.
我竟然跟好多人的老爸说过这句话呢
I can't even count how many dads I've said that to.
我不喜欢你
I don't like you.
我去买♥♥个芬达喝
I'm going to get a Fanta.
你在这上班吗
Do you work here?
我是溜冰场女士
I'm a Rink Lady.
我负责保护孩子们的安全之类的蠢事吧
I'm in charge of, like, so many kids' safety, it's stupid.
杰夫呢
So, where's Geoff?
我们分手了
We actually broke up.
是激♥情♥褪去了吗
Was it a passion killing?
没就是很正常很无聊的分手
No, just your standard, boring breakup.
讲真高中的时候我很看不起杰夫这种白♥痴♥呢
Honestly, in high school, I pooh-poohed dweebs like Geoff,
但是反观我自己一塌糊涂的情史之后
but in the rearview mirror of my chaotic life,
才发现他可是难得一见的好男人啊
he's the whole package.
宝贝你好呀宝贝你也好呀
Hey, babe. Other babe.
艾丽卡和杰夫分手了
Erica and Geoff split up.
那个可爱的烦人精又单身了
That sweet-faced douche-nugget is on the market?
- 你可以上了快上 - 但是我们怎么办
- You gotta swoop in, and swoop fast! - But what about us?
现在说的可是施瓦兹啊
We're talking Geoff Schwartz here.
有他就能有模范婚姻
He's grade-A marriage material.
他以后可能会当验光师
He's gonna be an optometrist.
- 是眼科医生 - 什么
- An ophthalmologist. - What?
就是那种可以做视网膜手术的医生吗
A real medical doctor who can perform retinal surgeries
放射状角膜切开术也会的那种吗
including radial keratotomy?
你不上我上了
If you don't swoop in, I will.
看来你们不需要我
Well, you don't really need me here
来帮你决定谁上那我先
to figure out who's gonna swoop in, so...
- 走了 - 现在就要走了吗
- We're leaving. - Already?
你记不记得这个娃娃机
Don't you remember this claw machine?
我想帮你抓你想要的那个独角兽
I'm trying to win you that unicorn you always wanted.
没错没错没错
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
靠
Ohh!
还要我怎样
What does it take?
默里趁现在还没发现我生活如此悲剧
Murray, let's just get out of here
我们赶快走了吧
before anyone else finds out how pathetic my life is.
这首歌♥献给艾丽卡
This one goes out to Erica,
她刚和那个抢手的男人杰夫分手了
who just broke up with solid catch Geoff Schwartz.
女士们现在你们可以去追这个眼科医生了
There's an eye man on the table, ladies.
就在艾丽卡逃离现实的同时
While Erica fled from her past,
我也在四处询问建议
I sought advice to cement my legacy.
巴里我有麻烦了
Bar, I'm in trouble.
等下你要干嘛
Wait. What are you doing?
我们厕纸用完了我在搞发明创造你看看
We're out of TP, so I'm improvising. Cheggit.
你的锯子活干得不错呢
Hey, you did something good with a saw.
来跟你兄弟讲讲你的忧愁
Now, tell your wise brother your woes.
我朋友利用我搞一场恶作剧
Well, my friends used me to pull a prank.
老生常谈了
A tale as old as time,
其实事情比你想的还糟糕
but your situation is even worse than you think.
还要更糟糕吗
Worse?
你要是不好好搞一场高中毕业恶作剧
If you're not actively involved in a senior prank,
没有人会记得你的
no one will remember you.
就像塞斯·斯尼德那样
Like Seth Snider?
就是那个椒盐饼公爵的儿子吗
The son of the pretzel baron?
压根没人知道他
Not even a little.
他和我同年毕业但却没搞出一场恶作剧
He graduated my year without a prank to his name.
我记得他是因为
I only remember him
他鼻子上的那个怪东西
'cause he had that weird thing on his nose.
- 那东西还真听怪的但是是什么东西呢 - 没人记得
- That thing was weird. What was that? - No one will ever know.
也许只有他自己知道或者还有他皮肤医生知道
Well, probably him and the dermatologist
或者保险公♥司♥知道
and the insurance company
或者他朋友和家人知道
and his friends and family
还有那些敢直接问他的人也知道
and anyone who isn't afraid to ask.
很多人都知道但是我们还是要搞一场恶作剧才行
Long list. Anyway. Let's get prankin'.
但是搞恶作剧会给我们带来麻烦的
But pranks get you in trouble!
听着你或许没有恶作剧的勇气或者心态
Look, you may not have the courage, the mental agility,
- 或者欲望 - 确实但是
- the hunger... - Sure, but...
也没有能力你目光缺点凶狠大脑缺点聪慧
...the physical prowess, the danger in your eyes, the cunning wit.
我知道了
I get it.
- 手腿背都缺些肌肉 - 直接说重点好吗
- The muscles in your arms, legs, or back. - Get to it!
不过你确实有样独特的东西连我也没有
But you do have something no one, including me, ever had.