金色年代

The Goldbergs S08E08

Part 4 April 19, 2021, 5:46 p.m.

I do have one idea. For next week's lab,
我让你跟优生搭档
I'm gonna pair you with a stronger student.
-你弟弟 -什么不是吧
- Your brother. - What? No.
没错我有好多可教你的
Oh, yes, and I have so much to teach you.
就是这样
There you go.
第一课
Lesson one.
记下来
Write that down.
正当爱丽卡感到渺小至极时
As Erica couldn't have felt smaller,
犯罪主脑仍然逍遥法外
the criminal mastermind remained at large.
好了以下是我们所知道的
Okay, here's what we know.
比尔在屋里被下螃蟹
Bill was crabbed in the den,
而尼亚漂亮的外套
and Ginzy's beautiful coat...
在门厅被贴了亮钻
...was bedazzled in the foyer.
每个客人都玩得很开心
And every guest had the time of their life!
我做到了
I did it!
我就是珍金镇的第♥一♥夫♥人♥
I'm the Jackie O. Of Jenkintown!
假谋杀案还在继续吗
This fake murder thing still happening?
你一点贡献都没有
No thanks to you,
但今晚的派对有了转机
but the evening has taken a welcome turn.
我们中藏着一个禽兽
There's a monster among us.
禽兽等一下
Monster. Wait a second.
破案了是贝弗莉干的
That's it. Beverly did it!
埃西我向天发誓假如我们再办剧本杀
Essie, I swear to God, if we ever do this again,
-你就只能在厨房♥吃饭 -想想看
- you're eating in the kitchen. - Think about it.
今晚照常进行的话谁受益最大
Who among us benefits the most from this evening continuing?
贝弗莉
Beverly.
你或许是嫉妒
You were probably jealous
德洛丽丝用性感长裙艳压了你
that Dolores showed you up in that smokin' dress.
等一下你们真认为是我♥干♥的
Okay, wait a minute. You really think I did this?
你确实迫切希望今晚成功
You did desperately want the night to work out.
没有成功你就给我下毒
And when it didn't, you poisoned me?
还毁了我的外套
And ruined my coat.
贴亮钻是你的标志性♥爱♥好
Bedazzling is one of your signature activities.
你们都觉得是我♥干♥的
You all think I did it?
-绝对是你 -说得通
- Definitely! - It makes sense.
谁想在破案后去冰淇淋店
After this, who wants to go to Dairy Queen
吃冰淇淋聊八卦
for Blizzards and gossip?
爸他们把矛头指向了你妻子
Dad, they're turning on your wife.
我只想说感谢各位前来
Hey, just want to say thanks for coming,
这就算我跟各位都道别过了
and this'll count as my goodbye
所以我不用再一一道别
so I don't have to say it individually.
去冰淇淋店
To the DQ!
默里这都是你的错
Murray, this is all your fault.
我我怎么了
Me? What did I do?
你剧透了整个剧本迷案
You gave away the entire fake mystery
也没参加真正的迷案
and didn't participate in the real one.
你还莫名地泡了澡换上了浴袍
And for some reason, you took a bath and put a robe on.
不然我该做些什么
What was I supposed to do?
任何事
Anything.
今晚对我很重要
This night meant a lot to me.
我们好久没办过晚餐派对了
We haven't had a dinner party in a long time,
我以为会成为有趣的新传统
and I thought it would be a fun, new tradition,
怪我想多了
but shame on me for thinking
以为你会愿意参与其中
that you would want to be a part of something.
我要走了该提醒你一句你浴袍开了
As I leave, I should mention that your robe is ajar.
正当我妈的夜晚被毁掉时
While my mom's night was ruined,
爱丽卡正全身心投入或者说投入了一只脚
Erica was jumping in with both feet -- or at least one.
每个试验台上有一个真实的人脚
In front of each station is a real human foot.
你和搭档要将其解剖
You and your partner will be dissecting it
辨别骨骼肌肉和肌腱
and identifying the bones, muscles, and tendons.
祝各位好运
Good luck.
好了我们这样安排
Okay. Here's how this is gonna go.
你别插手我们拿到我应得的高分
You do nothing, and we both get the "A" I deserve.
没门交给我我准备好了
No way. I got this. I'm ready.
这是真家伙
That's, like, the real thing.
如此轻盈如此优雅
So lithe and elegant.
或许是芭蕾女伶
Probably a ballerina.
别脑补出整个人
Don't make it a person.
天啊那是脚的内部
Oh, God. That's the inside of a foot.
行了你退后这又不怪我
Okay, just back off. It's not my fault
是你不知道你这辈子想做什么
you don't know what you want to do with your life.
我当然知道我想做
Of course I know. I want to be
医啊医
a-a doc-- a doc--
脚趾好多脚趾
Toes. There's so many toes.
你连"医生"都说不出口真可悲
You can't even say "Doctor"? Pathetic.
因为我不说空话只做实事
That's because I don't say, I do!
把脚给我
Now gimme the foot!
不住手你让脚跳起舞了
No, stop! You're making the foot dance!
很好笑但不合时宜
It's hilarious, but not the time!
脚碰到了我的脚
The foot touched my foot!
别踢它捡起来捡起来
No, don't kick it! Just pick it up, pick it up!
我用桶盖住它
I'll just cover it with this bucket.
这又不是蜘蛛是死去的女士的脚
No, it's not a spider! It's a dead lady's kicker!
-好了装好了 -离这只脚远点
- Okay. There. - Step away from the foot.
你们俩现在就离开我的课堂不要再回来
Both of you leave my class now, and don't come back.
都怪你
You did this.
争强好胜是一回事
It's one thing to be competitive,
但毁掉我毕生所愿是另一回事
but it's another to ruin the one thing I always wanted.
多谢你了爱丽卡
Thanks a lot, Erica.
我妈的剧本杀派对失败了
My mom's murder-mystery party had gone bust,
但所有好的迷案都有反转
but every good murder mystery has a twist.
各位别走
Everyone, stop!
我知道是谁给比尔下螃蟹给尼亚贴亮钻
I figured out who crabbed Bill and bedazzled Ginzy!
亚当已经结束了
Adam, it's over.
还没有你们肯定想知道答案
Not yet. You're all gonna want to see this.
我们的犯罪主脑就是
Our criminal mastermind is...
我
Me?
你鬼扯什么我什么都不愿意干
What are you talking about? I don't do things.
可你干了
And yet you did.
为了帮助你们理解案件经过
In order to help you understand what happened,
我需要带你们回顾今晚的流程
I shall need to take you through the events of the evening
一步一步
step by step.
首先所有人到场
First, everyone showed up,
施瓦茨太太很伤人地说了句
and Mrs. Schwartz was hurtful when she said,
"你像艾美奖上的弗莱德·萨维奇"
"You look like Fred Savage at the Emmys."
我不是用那个语气说的
I don't think I said it like that.
路易斯先生说
And Mr. Lewis was all,
"老天爷哟我们来参加谋杀喽"
"Jimminy Criminy! We're here for the murder!"
这孩子真会演
Kid's a regular Rich Little.
然后维吉尼亚带着致命焗蘑菇来了
Then Virginia arrived with her deadly mushroom cups.
不是致命的很受欢迎的
They weren't deadly. They were a hit.
我觉得整晚都十分美味
Well, I think the whole evening was delicious.
重申一次我叫约翰
Just to reiterate, my first name is John.
然后老爸毁了游戏因为他毫不在意
Then Dad ruined the game 'cause he wasn't paying attention.
没人能看出来他其实很内疚
No one could tell, but he felt bad!
你父亲没有悔恨这种感情
Your father doesn't feel regret.
也没有羞愧或谦逊或社交礼仪常识
Or shame or modesty or common social decency.
通常没有但今晚有
Not typically, but tonight,
他想补救不知该怎么办
he wanted to fix things and didn't know how.
他知道比尔有轻度过敏
He did know Bill had a mild allergy,
于是他关了灯
so he killed the lights...
摔碎了灯泡
...and smashed a light bulb
为了戏剧效果
for dramatic effect!
在黑暗的掩护下他拿起蟹饼
Under cover of darkness, he grabbed a crab cake
塞进焗蘑菇
and jammed it into a mushroom cup.
比尔咬了一口倒下了
Bill took a bite and went down.
也不能说全无道理
I suppose that makes some sense,
可我的外套是怎么回事
but what about my coat?
很简单
Simple.
正当我们忙着吵嘴
While we were all busy bickering --
-"你的瓷砖极丑" -"没有螃蟹天堂"