金色年代

The Goldbergs S08E19

Part 3 May 24, 2021, 2:45 p.m.

青少年关节炎吗
Juvenile arthritis?
- 你有路子 - 什么路子
- Access. - Access to what?
进学校的路子傻瓜
To the school, dummy.
妈妈在学校工作她有钥匙
Mom works there now, and she has keys.
但她不会给我钥匙的
But she's not just gonna hand me keys to the school.
依我看你要么想办法把钥匙搞来
The way I see it, you either figure out a way to those keys
要么就等着被人遗忘吧
or be flushed away in history.
自己选呆子
Your choice, nerd.
这个我拿走了挺好玩的
I'll take this, too. It's fun.
很遗憾巴里说对了
Sadly, Barry was right.
我要是想名留青史就要干一票大的
If I wanted to be remembered, I needed to do something big.
手伸出来
Not so fast!
我妈无处不在
She's among us!
你在我包里找什么呢
What are you doing in my purse?
我在找
I was just looking for...
这个卫生棉条
This tampon.
我的老天
Oh, my God.
你想拿我钥匙去学校恶作剧
You were looking for my keys to pull a prank at school.
被她逮了个正着我只有一个办法了
She caught me red-handed. There was only one thing to do...
和她实话实说
Tell her the truth.
尽量实话实说
Mm, kinda.
我真是个小偷呸
Rats. Phooey.
看来不能搞母子恶作剧了
I guess the mother-son prank is off.
母子恶作剧吗
Mother-son prank?
就好像我会信一样
Like I'd ever believe that.
我在想
I got to thinking,
怎样才能让我挑剔的同学们记住我
what better way for my judgy peers to remember me by
最好的办法就是在公共场合向这个女人示爱
than with a very public love note to the woman...
向那个生你的女人
You came out of.
本来想说那个养我的女人不过也是
I was gonna say "raised me," but sure.
这么一说还挺有道理
Well, that makes a tremendous amount of sense.
我就好奇你准备在横幅上写什么呢
Just for fun, what would that giant banner of love say?
我猜我会写
I guess I'd go with something like,
亚当爱妈妈
"Adam Loves His Mama."
你可真会写
You are such a good writer.
但是很遗憾
But too bad.
我拿不到钥匙一起计划都泡汤了
Without the keys, it's not happening.
大家就会想亚当爱不爱他妈妈呢
The world will just have to wonder, do I love you?
这么和你说吧
Tell you what.
我准备把我的钥匙忘在这
I'm just gonna forget my keys right here.
要是有人来拿走了
And if anyone chooses to come looking for them,
我也不知道
I'd never know.
搞到了我终于搞到了我的
There they were. I finally had my...
等一下我
Whoa! I, uh...
我得用用我邮箱钥匙
I need my P.O. box key.
买♥♥了好多东西你♥爸♥爸又要不高兴了
A lot of mail-order shopping your dad would frown upon.
糟糕
Oop!
我怎么这么粗心又把钥匙给忘了
Clumsy me, forgetting my keys again.
这下能进学校了
I had the access.
现在我只需要
Now all I had to do was...
我又把防狼喷雾落下了
I forgot my Mace.
你妈我的金发大♥波♥浪
You know, with my blond hair and curvy physique,
总是会招来色狼
I'm a magnet for pervs.
给你
There.
我可没来过这里
I was never here.
这下我真的拿到了通往胜利的钥匙
And with that, I officially had the keys to unlock my legacy.
从我老妈那骗到钥匙以后
After duping my mom into giving me the keys to the school,
只差搞一场恶作剧我就能名留青史了
I was one prank away from being a legend.
- 你好啊我的兄弟 - 靠巴里
- Hello, brother. - Gah! Barry!
你在这关了灯坐着等我吗
Were you just sitting in the dark waiting for me?
区区三个小时而已
Just for three short hours.
不重要
Not important.
你要搞的恶作剧才是最重要的
What's important is that prank you're trying to pull.
我打算溜进巴尔办公室
Well, I was thinking I'd sneak into Ball's office
给他留一张纸条感谢他四年来的照顾
and write him an anonymous thank-you note for a great four years.
然后浇上油很屌♥的走开
Then you douse it in kerosene, walk away in slow motion,
再点燃火柴一把火烧掉吗
and throw a lit match behind you?
我只打算留张纸条
Just the kind note.
不过也可以再给他点他最喜欢的奶油糖
But maybe I'll throw in a handful of those butterscotches he likes.
这就不叫恶作剧了
That's not a prank!
这就成了他作为教育者值得铭记的记忆
That's a cherished memory of his impact as an educator!
我跟你一起去
I'm coming with you.
什么为什么
What? Why?
要是让你像这样在每个人的柜子里放朵玫瑰
My legacy as a badass at William Penn Academy
我在威廉·宾高中树立起来的威风
will be tarnished forever if you do something
就会被你搞砸
like put a daisy in everyone's locker.
其实还可以用薰衣草加上一股
Ooh, maybe with a little lavender for a playful pop of...
- 我靠你得帮帮我 - 别怕
- Oh, my God. You have to help me. - Don't worry.
我有计谋你有钥匙我们必胜
With my know-how and you having the keys, we can't lose.
大功告成
Boom!
把这个人多地方的地板上涂上油
This high-traffic area is fully greased.
等我再润一下色
Just adding some finishing touches.
这是什么你在干嘛
What is that? What are you doing?
加点岩盐
Adding rock salt.
- 也不能让地板太滑 - 地板越滑越好
- Don't want the floor to be too slippery. - Yes, you do.
我们要让他们去开柜子的时候摔跤
How is anyone gonna hurtle themselves into the locker,
最好还能摔到住院那种不滑他们还怎么摔
possibly needing to go to the hospital while everyone giggles?
我可不想伤害别人
I don't want to hurt anyone.
别告诉我你把马桶的保鲜膜也取了
Tell me you didn't take the Saran Wrap off the toilets.
当然没有我只是挂了个牌写着
Of course not! I just hung up signs saying
马桶被保鲜膜包起来了
"these toilets are Saran-Wrapped."
不肯给戈登堡家抹黑
You're gonna disgrace the Goldberg name
就是在给戈登堡家抹黑
by not disgracing the Goldberg name!
我要去找个柜子发泄怒火
I'm gonna go find a locker to punch.
我要把地拖了
And I'm gonna run a mop over this
免得麻烦清洁工
to save the janitor the trouble.
巴里说的没错
Barry was right.
我是个乖乖男注定要被人遗忘
I was a good boy, doomed to be forgotten...
但是我眼前的景象改变了这一切
Until I saw something that changed all of that.
你要去哪
Where are you going?
回家来这里就是个愚蠢的决定
Home. This was a huge mistake.
我承认这里标志牌上让我不要拿着芬达汽水滑冰
I admit taking a Fanta out onto the rink
结果我不听这是挺愚蠢的
with all the signs telling you not to was a big mistake,
但我们可以交流一下啊
but we should talk.
你还想交流了
You want to talk?
大家都知道你最不擅长交流
You're famously bad at that.
没错那是因为我平时都很累不想谈心提不起兴趣
Yeah, that's because I'm usually tired, bored, or disinterested,
不然就是因为电视节目太好看
or there's something better on TV.
但是我挺擅长交流感情的我们谈谈吧
But I'm good. Let's talk.
好那我们谈谈吧
Fine. Let's talk.
那么就像上一次父女日
And so, just like the last Daddy Daughter Day,
我爸居然又打开了我姐姐的心扉
my dad got my sister to open up.
杰夫是第一个告诉我他爱我的男孩
Geoff was the first boy who ever told me that he loved me.
这一次她谈的不是青春期少女的东西了
Of course, this time it wasn't teenage girl stuff.
而是成人恋爱关系了
It was real adult relationship stuff.
我是说我吃什么他就吃什么我看什么他就看什么
I mean, he ate what I ate, watched what I watched,
我打哈欠他也打哈欠
yawned when I yawned...
当然这很正常
Which is a natural reaction to yawns,
但是有没有搞错
but I mean, come on, man.
你不要什么都围着我转
Yawn for yourself.
结果疯狂的事情发生了
But then, something insane happened.
我爸居然应付自如
My dad actually rose to the occasion.
那你感觉怎么样呢
And how'd that make you feel?
等等你真的听进去了吗
Wait, are you actually engaging me on this topic?
我也没想到不过和我讲讲你的痛楚
It doesn't come naturally, but tell me about the pain.
没事没想到
It was amazing.
我爸不仅在听她讲这些琐事他居然还听进去了
My dad didn't just listen to Erica, he was there for her.
每天我都害怕
Not a day goes by I'm not terrified
我会毁了自己的生活
that I completely destroyed my life.
- 你懂我意思吧 - 懂
- You know what I mean? - I do.