老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E03
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:53 p.m.
So, the hairdresser shows up 2:00 on Sunday.
美发师星期天2点过来
Great, and while you do that,
很好 在你弄头发时
I'll check in on the ring bear.
我负责把戒熊安排好
I'm sorry.
不好意思
You're saying "Ring bearer," Right?
你说的是"戒童" 对吧
Ring bear.
戒熊
Okay, look into my eyes and say,
看着我的双眼 郑重发誓
"I promise that I'm not bringing a dangerous wild animal to our wedding."
"我发誓不会在婚礼上弄一只危险的野生动物"
I...
我
Oh, that's the shuttle with our elderly relatives pulling up.
载着我们老一辈的亲戚的车停下来了
There's nine steps between the bus and that front door,
公车跟前门只有九步之遥
which means we've only got about 45 minutes
这就意味着在他们进来前
until they get inside.
我们只剩45分钟了
We won't have a moment to ourselves
一旦那帮老混♥蛋♥像水蛭一样黏上咱俩
once those old bastards latch onto us like leeches,
我们就没有独处的时间了
but they're family and I love them.
但他们是家人 我爱他们
Living link to history.
他们就是活历史呀
Oh, God. This is gonna be rough.
天啊 一定会很难熬
My great-grandparents never stop bickering,
我的曾祖父母总是在吵架
but I guess that's what happens
我想可能等你结婚60年后
when you've been married for 60 years.
也会像他们一样吧
60 years.
60年
Man, when was the last time you think they had sex?
天啊 你觉得他们最后一次做♥爱♥是什么时候
Probably not since the Maple Leafs won the cup.
可能是从枫叶队赢得斯坦利杯冰球决赛后吧
1967.
1967年之后就没做过了
That's not gonna be us, right?
我们不会这样的 对吧
Like, when we get married, it's not all fighting, no sex?
我们结婚之后只有激烈的争吵 而没有激烈的性♥爱♥
What? No way.
怎么可能 当然不会
It's us, R-Train and B-Nasty.
我们可是浪♥女♥宾和淫♥虫♥尼
That will never happen.
这种事绝对不会发生
We have to have sex right now.
我们现在必须要来一炮
Kids, as you recall, Uncle Marshall
孩子们 你们还记得 马修叔叔
had gotten kicked off his flight home from Minnesota
在明尼苏达被踢下飞机
and was now high-tailing it across the country
现在正和一个叫达芙妮的陌生人
with another stranded traveler named Daphne.
一起匆忙地开车赶回来
How's it going, baby?
怎么样呀 宝贝
Fine.
还行
Except the flames of Lucifer
除了撒旦的火焰
keep singeing our back bumper as we drive
一直在烧我们的后保险杠
through this hellish, cheese-infested wasteland.
因为我们正开到地狱般满是奶臭味的荒蛮之地
Wisconsin? Wisconsin!
到威斯康星州了吗 没错
Packers country.
绿湾包装工队的地盘
But don't worry,
不过别担心
the Eriksen men are repping the purple and gold
埃里克森家的男人穿着紫金色战袍
like two bosses.
就像俩球员
Go, Vikings!
维京队 加油
And how are you doing, Daphne?
你还好吗 达芙妮
Not bad, considering Marshall's been spouting
还行吧 前一小时马修一直
Vikings trivia for the last hour.
喋喋不休地说维京队的琐事
Do you know "I don't care"
你知道"老娘才不在乎这些"
led the league last year in "Dumb sports stuff"?
去年体育烂坛的联盟榜首是谁呢
Anyways, listen, I should be back in time
总而言之 我应该能赶上
for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
明天婚礼的彩排晚宴
Oh, the rehearsal dinner.
彩排晚宴呀
Daphne, you should have seen the dress I was gonna wear.
达芙妮 你真该看看我要穿的裙子
Up top, it packed the gals together
上半身 我的双乳呼之欲出
like opening night of a Sex and the City movie.
就像《欲望都市》电影版的首映夜晚装
And down south, it made mama look like a dream
而下半身 则让我看起来像是
Sir Mix-A-Lot would never want to wake up from.
能让说唱歌♥手一辈子都不想醒来的梦
Ooh, what happened to that dress?
天啊 你的裙子怎么了
The drunks at the dry cleaners destroyed it.
干洗店的酒鬼把老娘的裙子毁了
Thank you, Linus.
谢谢你 莱纳斯
Okay, Lily, I have to go.
莉莉 我得挂了
I have to alert the villagers that there is
我得警告这群乡巴佬
a Viking amongst them.
有维京队的人潜伏进来了
Marshall's driving through Wisconsin? Yep.
马修正开车经过威斯康星州吗 对
Ooh, is that your toast?
那是你的祝酒词吗
Uh... yeah.
是的
Yeah, I'm just gonna wing mine.
我打算自♥由♥发挥
'Cause if you get up there
因为一旦你上了台
and speak from the heart...
你就会由衷地说出祝福的话
things good...
好话
mouth words...
说不出来
memory times.
只能回忆往昔
Can I take a peek at your speech?
我能看一眼你的演说词吗
Uh, no. I...
不行
"Have a drink with my favorite students,
"跟我最爱的学生喝一杯"
"see one last sunset over the Hudson."
"在哈得孙河看最后一次日落"
Ted, your speech sucks.
泰德 你的祝酒词真烂
Well, it's no "Mouth words, memory times."
至少不是"说不出来 只能回忆往昔"
But if you must know, it's, uh... it's not a speech.
如果你一定要知道 那不是祝酒词
What is it, then?
那这是什么
A week before the wedding, I realized I couldn't stay
婚礼前一周 我意识到自己
in New York any longer.
无法再待在纽约
So I decided to start fresh in Chicago.
所以我打算去芝加哥重新开始
It's a list of all the things
这是我要离开纽约之前
I want to do before I leave New York.
所有要做的事情的清单
Okay, I don't know which I hate more:
我不知道我更讨厌哪一点
the fact that you're moving away
是你要离开
or the fact that I'm the only one that knows about it.
还是只是我一个人知道这件事
Why won't you tell anyone?
为什么你不告诉别人
You don't drop a bombshell like that this close to a wedding.
婚礼将至 你不能在这时说点让人震惊的事
No, that's an excuse.
不 那是借口
You have been avoiding Barney and Robin since the carousel.
从旋转木马事件之后 你就在回避巴尼和罗宾
And now on Monday,
而到了周一
you're running away to Chicago.
你就要逃去芝加哥了
I'm not running away.
我不是要逃走
I'm moving on.
我只是重新开始
This list isn't written by someone who's ready to move on.
这份清单不是某人准备重新开始的人写的
It's written by someone who loves New York.
而是某个深爱纽约的人写的
I mean, "Fix graffiti on 96th and Amsterdam"?
"把96街和阿姆斯特丹墙上乱写的东西改正"
I hated looking at it.
我讨厌看到语句错误
"Buy the whole bar a round of drinks."
"请全酒吧的人喝酒"
Hey, everyone.
各位
Next round's on me!
下一轮酒我请
Yeah!
太棒了
Ted?
泰德
Hey, everyone.
各位
Next round's on me!
下一轮酒我请了
Can I have a double bourbon...
能给我杯双份波本
No doubles!
不准点双份的
"Say good-bye to the Empire State Building."
"和帝国大厦告别"
Bro. What?
老兄 怎么了
Sometimes I go...
我有时会去
talk to her about life.
跟她畅谈人生的点滴
And I just hate the thought of leaving you, Empy,
小帝啊 我真不想离开你
but my gut tells me my future's in Chicago.
可我感觉自己在芝加哥更有发展前途
What do you think?
你觉得呢
You need to move.
你是该离开
Oh, my God, r-really?
我的天 你说真的吗
Are-are you sure?
你确定吗
Yeah, I'm sure.
是的 我很确定
You can't just stand there talking
你不要站在这里 一边爱抚大楼
to a building and petting it.
一边喃喃自语 好吗
Wait, are you one of those freaks
慢着 你该不会是那种
who's sexually attracted to buildings?
对建筑物有"性趣"的怪胎吧
An objectophiliac?
你是说恋物癖吗
No way.
我才不是呢
Then why do you know what they're called?
那你怎么会知道他们的正确学名
Why do you know what they're called?
那你怎么会知道他们的正确学名
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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