老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E08
Part 3
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:54 p.m.
I know you're probably gonna want
我知道你可能还想
to take a hot bath when you get in.
到达之后 先泡个热水澡
She fits in a bathtub.
她可以塞得进浴缸
That's good news. Unless...
真是好消息 除非
Oh, God, how big are Canadian bathtubs?
糟了 不知道加拿大浴缸体积是多大
People ever line up like this for your mom's eggs?
大家也会为了你♥妈♥的♥炒蛋大排长龙吗
Loretta, even I could make better eggs than this.
洛雷塔 连我做的炒蛋都比你的好
Oh, I'd love it if you'd come teach me
我十分愿意请你
how to make scrambled eggs.
来指导我如何炒鸡蛋
It's a scramble-off, everybody!
各位 炒蛋大赛
A scramble-off to the death!
炒蛋大赛 炒蛋至死
Someone go watch for the cops!
我去把风看有没警♥察♥
Maybe we should have read up on this town
我们当初预定婚礼前
before booking our wedding.
真该好好调查一下这地方
Let's do some, "When you... I feel."
我们来聊"你怎么样时 我感觉如何"吧
All right, for example,
比如说
When you don't do trust falls,
当你们不愿意玩"信任倒"时
I feel like you should do trust falls.
我觉得你们应该玩"信任倒"
So just do the damn trust falls.
不如就试一下"信任倒"嘛
I'm driving a car, Clint.
我在开车呢 柯林特
Okay,
好吧
Uh, Daphne, when you say "Drill, baby, drill"
达芙妮 每次经过加油站时
every time that we pass a gas station,
你都嚷嚷着"石油石油使劲钻"
I feel invalidated.
这让我觉得很无语
Marshall, when you talk, I feel shut up!
马修 每次你开口说话 我都想让你闭嘴
That's very good, both of you.
你们俩都说得很好
Really? Both of us?
是吗 我们俩吗
Name one energy that's better than oil.
你能说出一项比石油还好的能源吗
Wind, solar, hydroelectric.
风能 太阳能 水能
You see what I've been dealing with, Clint?
你看她这是什么人啊 柯林特
** The sticky petroleum clings... *
* 黏乎乎的石油
Please not now, Clint.
求求你别唱了 柯林特
** To the pelican's broken wings *
* 粘在鹈鹕残缺的翅膀上
** Hey, mr. Oilman, what have you done...*
* 石油恶霸 瞧你干的好事
Stop, stop, stop, please. Enough!
住嘴 别唱了 我受够了
Clint, I'm tired of your beard
柯林特 我烦透了你的大胡子
and I'm tired of this stupid therapy session.
还有你傻乎乎的心理咨♥询♥
And I'm tired of the way
我也烦透了这一路上
that your songs have a-a laxative effect on Marvin!
马文一听你的歌♥就拉屎
And on me. Every time Clint starts singing,
我也是 每次柯林特一开口
I just got to go. Yeah.
我就想去厕所 没错
It's like, uh, the only trust fall when you sing
你的"信任倒"就是你唱歌♥时
is that I "trust" that a piece of poop
我绝对"信任"一坨大便
is gonna "fall" out of my son's butt.
会从我儿子的裤子里"倒"出来
Hey, Clint, how about that?
柯林特 感觉如何
You got us to agree on something.
你成功让我俩达成了一致
We both think you're a loser.
我们一致认为你是个傻♥逼♥
This therapy works.
这心理咨♥询♥还真管用
No!
不对
That is not the way therapy works at all!
心理咨♥询♥要的不是这个结果
Do you think this is some kind of a joke?!
你觉得我做的这一切都是个笑话吗
This is my career!
这可是我人生事业啊
I will not go back to coaching the Browns!
打死我也不回去当布朗队的教练了
Why can't people take what I do seriously?!
为什么大家都不认真看待我的工作呢
God!
气死我了
One more. Oh, my God.
还有最后一级 天啊
Okay. Oh, my God.
好了 我的天
God, that was a lot of stairs. I'm exhausted.
好多楼梯要爬 我都累坏了
My chest is on fire.
我都要喘不上气了
Ooh! So, mr. Arch-itect,
那么 建猪师先生[发音错误]
What do we do now?
我们现在该做什么呢
Fall in love or something?
陷入热恋之类的吗
And, kids, as I stood on that lighthouse
孩子们 当我站在灯塔上
and looked at that girl,
注视着眼前的姑娘时
I felt something happen inside me,
忽然涌起一种感觉
something that had only happened one other time
在我长大成人后的日子里
in my entire adult life.
这种感觉第二次出现
Okay, scrambled eggs.
好 我要做炒蛋
Here we go.
开始了
Where is the egg opener?
开蛋器在哪里
Never mind. I'll pre-scramble them. It's fine.
算了 我就在蛋壳里预搅拌吧
Okay, fine, you know what? You win.
好吧 洛蕾塔 你赢了
I don't know how to cook egg.
我不会炒蛋
If you don't even know how to make scrambled eggs,
如果你连炒蛋都不会做
I just worry what kind of breakfast
我真担心你以后会给我的孙子们
you're gonna be serving my grandchildren.
端出什么样的早餐来
Well, lucky you
算你走运
Because that is one thing you won't ever have to worry about.
你这辈子都不用操这份心
Mom, Robin can't have kids.
妈 罗宾不能生小孩
Every single job I take on, it's always the same!
我的每一份工作都是这样
"The coffee maker has to stay in the office, Clint!"
不要把咖啡机搬出办公室 柯林特
"You still have to wear pants on casual Friday, Clint!"
就算是便装日 你也不能光屁♥股♥ 柯林特
"We didn't hire you, Clint!"
我们根本没请你来上班 柯林特
Well, God, I'm-I'm...
老天爷 我真是
I'm just sick of it. I'm si...
烦透了 我烦透了
Oh, I can hear my blood right now.
我都能听到自己血液澎湃的声音
I'm having an attack. I'm having a blood attack.
我犯病了 我犯血脏病了
A blood attack?
哪有血脏病啊
Yeah. Pull over. I need... I-I need to meditate.
快停车 我需要调节一下
I got to get my heart rate down. I'll... Ow! Pull over.
得让我的心跳缓一缓 快停车
We're in the middle of nowhere. Pull over!
这可是偏僻的荒郊野外 停车
Zitch dog, labradoodle in a Ford Fusion! Ow!
有狗 福特车里的拉布拉多犬
God...
妈呀
Robin can't have kids?
罗宾不能生小孩
But you always wanted children.
可你一直都想要小孩
No, I always liked children.
不 我是一直喜欢小孩
I've always wanted
我一直想要的是
a lamborghini where there's a hot tub inside.
内置按♥摩♥浴缸的兰博基尼
God, I wish that existed.
真希望这车真的存在
So no grandkids.
那我抱不上孙子了
How long have you known about this?
你知道多久了
I found out last fall.
去年秋天就知道了
Robin and I had been hanging out downtown
我和罗宾去市中心一家
at this very cool secret bar.
非常酷的秘密酒吧玩
What a lovely place!
真是个好地方
Have you ever had sushi that fresh?
你吃过这么新鲜的寿司吗
Okay, I am never getting on a mechanical bull again.
我再也不骑电动牛了
I can't believe Marshall and Lily missed out.
真不敢相信马修和莉莉没空来
Promise me, if you ever have kids,
向我保证 如果你以后有了孩子
you'll sometimes get a babysitter
有时还是要请个保姆
and come have an epic night.
出来爽爽地玩上一晚
Oh, and, P.S., bring the babysitter, she sounds dirty.
对了带上保姆一起来 感觉保姆都很浪
Actually, I, uh, I can't have kids,
其实 我不能生孩子
So that's not an issue.
那就没这种烦恼了
Really? Yeah.
真的吗 是的
Is it weird that I'm hugging you like this?
我这样抱你奇怪吗
No, it's not weird.
不奇怪
Now it's weird. Yep, the rain makes it weird.
现在就奇怪了 下雨就感觉奇怪了
Mom, I'm not marrying some future possibility
妈 我不是娶未来组建一个家庭的
of starting a family.
可能性
I'm marrying a girl.
我娶的是一个女人
Who means more to me than kids.
对我来说 她比孩子
Or my career.
我的事业
Or even the lambor-cuzzi, patent pending.
甚至比兰博浴缸还重要 专利申请中
So please...
求你了
...Be nice to her?
对她好点行吗
This is ridiculous.
太离谱了
Get out there and drag Clint's
出去把柯林特
downward-facing ass back in here so we can get going.
玩瑜伽坐地式的屁♥股♥拽回来 我们好上路
Just let him do his thing.
随他去吧
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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