老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S09E13
Part 3
Oct. 22, 2020, 1:55 p.m.
Keep it real, homies!
现实点吧 亲们
You know, he is right.
他说得对
Why is this all about you?
你是怎么回事
I mean, you have been preoccupied
你这一整个周末
with Marshall all weekend.
都在为马修忙活
I have not!
我没有
You have been sleeping with a doll made of cushions
你用靠垫做了一个娃娃 陪着你睡
that you named after him.
还冠以马修的名
Not true!
没有
After we do our business,
我们"忙"完之后
I make Marshpillow sleep on the couch!
我让修修枕去睡沙发
Oh, my god, that is so ridiculous!
我的天 你太荒谬了
So, what did Darren do to you?
戴伦对你做了什么
Well, a few years ago, I started this band.
几年前 我创立了这支乐队
And, you know, it was a goof--
乐队也不是很专业
It was just me and a couple of dorks from business school.
就我和我们商学院的几个呆瓜
I'm actually embarrassed to tell you our name.
我都不好意思告诉你乐队的名字
I had an all-lawyer funk band
我曾经有一支律师组成的放克乐队
called The Funk, the Whole Funk, and Nothing But the Funk.
叫"放克 放克 一直放到死"
Oh, I now feel very safe talking about my band--
那我可以放心和你聊我的乐队了
Super-freak-onomics.
超级怪经济乐队
Nice. Anyway,
挺好 总之
I brought Darren in to split lead vocals,
我让戴伦来分担主唱
and he took over.
然后他抢走了
You know, first he took away my solos,
他先是抢走我的独唱
then I got demoted to backup vocals,
我只有去唱和声
and now the only time I use a mic
现在我唯一用麦克风的机会
is after Darren's first false exit, when I say,
是戴伦第一次假装退场后 我会说
"Do you guys want more Darren?"
"你们还想听戴伦唱吗"
And then today,
然后今天
I found this ad online.
我发现了这个网上的广♥告♥
"Ass player wanted"?
"寻找混♥蛋♥手"
Move your thumb.
把你的拇指拿开
Oh, "Bass player wanted."
"寻找贝斯手"
Wait, he was gonna kick you out of your own band?
等等 他要把你踢出你一手创立的乐队
Yeah.
对
But instead... I quit.
不过我先退出了
You quit?! That's it?
你退出 不会吧
But it's your band-- you must be avenged!
那是你的乐队 你得报仇
Funny you should say that,
真奇怪你也这么说
Because as I was leaving the hotel, I ran into someone.
因为我离开酒店之前 碰见一个人
You need to steal this douche monkey's van.
你应该偷了那个混♥蛋♥的货车
Aldrin justice, nice!
艾得仁式正义 赞
Your wife is cool.
你妻子很酷
Oh, the coolest.
全世界最酷的
Hey, did she, um, happen to mention
她有没有提到
the fact that I'm sort of ruining
我或许毁了她
her dream of moving to Italy?
搬到意大利的美梦
Uh, yeah, that did come up.
对 她有提到
You need to steal this douche monkey's van.
你应该偷了那个混♥蛋♥的货车
And then run my husband over with it.
然后开车把我丈夫碾碎
I think you've got a tough talk coming.
你即将面临一场艰难的谈话
Yeah, well, so do you.
对 你也是
When we get to the Farhampton inn,
我们到法汉普顿酒店后
you're gonna go in there and you're gonna stand up to Darren.
你得进去 勇敢地面对戴伦
Oh, come on, I Aldrin justiced him.
拜托 我用艾得仁式正义惩罚他了
Yeah, but I bet you're just gonna give
没错 不过我肯定你会
this van right back to him.
直接把货车还给他
I mean, were you at least gonna pee in it a little?
但至少你先在车里撒泡尿啊
I was gonna gas it up and get it washed.
我准备加满油 然后洗干净
You're too nice.
你太仁慈了
I'm the same way.
我也太仁慈了
Sometimes you got to get in there
有时候你得站出来
and stand up for yoursself.
努力为自己争取
I always cave and side with the other person.
我总是躲在一边 支持别人
I can't handle confrontation.
我不敢和别人对峙
Yes, you can.
不 你敢
You make some good points.
你的话太有道理了
Look.
听我说
I don't know you, but I can tell that you're strong.
虽然我不了解你 但是看得出来你很坚强
That's your band.
那是你的乐队
Don't let Darren steal it away.
别让戴伦偷走它
No, there's no defeating the devil.
战胜恶魔是不可能的
He's someone else's problem now.
反正他现在是别人的麻烦了
I'm sorry if I've been distracted this weekend.
抱歉 这个周末我总是心不在焉
Oh, let's not fight anymore, okay?
我们别再吵了好吗
Oh, good, Robin, you finally told Lily you feel like
很好 罗宾 你终于告诉莉莉
she's abandoning you as a friend by going to Italy.
你觉得她搬去意大利 就是抛弃你这个朋友
Honesty is progress. Stay gold.
坦诚就是进步 保持下去
I'm not...
我没有
Ooh, Ted.
泰德
When you move to Chicago,
你搬到芝加哥之后
you got to try Gazzola's pizza.
记得去尝尝加佐拉的披萨
Namaste, hermanos.
保重[印度语] 兄弟[西班牙语]
You're moving to Chicago?
你要搬去芝加哥吗
Is that even a real place?
真的有这个地方吗
It's a style of pizza.
那不是披萨的名字吗
Ted, you can't live in a pizza.
泰德 你不能住在披萨里
I got an amazing job offer there.
那里有一份很棒的工作等着我
Look, lily knows, but Marshall and Robin don't.
莉莉知道 马修和罗宾还不知道
So please keep it quiet.
请保守秘密
You're moving to Chicago?!
你要搬去芝加哥
He-he's moving to Chicago!
他要搬去芝加哥
When do you move?
你什么时候走
At least tell me it's not until next year or something.
至少告诉我 你明年才会走
It's not until...
其实是...
Monday.
周一
Monday?!
周一
So you are just gonna disappear the day after my wedding?
所以我婚礼一结束 你就要消失了吗
After ten years of being best friends?
做了十年挚友 你就要这么消失了
Well, actually, Marshall's my... - Don't even think about it!
其实马修是我的... 想都别想
That's fair enough. You are gonna give me one day's notice?
好吧 你就只提前一天告诉我吗
Well, I didn't want to upset you on your wedding weekend.
我不想在婚礼前破坏你的心情
No, it's good.
很好
It'll be easy to say good-bye
我现在知道了我在你心中的分量
now that I know how much I mean to you.
所以道别也不会难过了
Look, I was...
我...
I was never really rooting for Marshall.
我从来没想过支持马修
I was rooting to not lose my best friend.
我只是不想失去我最好的朋友
But that's selfish.
我承认我很自私
No matter where you go,
不管你去哪里
I'm in your corner and I always will be.
我都会在你身边 永远支持你
And to prove it...
为了证明我的心...
What are you gonna do with Marshpillow?
你拿修修枕来干嘛
Hold his arms back
抓着他的手
while you beat the goose down out of this bastard.
好让你把"他"打得皮开肉绽
Because that's what best friends do.
这才是好朋友该做的事
Thanks, it-it's not gonna help.
谢谢 但于事无补
Try it. One punch.
试试看 就一拳
Ooh, that felt good.
感觉真好
Yeah, that's it, sweetheart.
就是这样 亲爱的
Head, body, head. Head, body, head.
头身头 头身头
Barney, wait, wait!
巴尼 等等
Your friendship is important to me.
你的友谊对我来说非常重要
I swear on my mother's...
我以我母亲的...
No, I swear to god.
不 我对上帝发誓
No... I swear to Hef.
不 我对休·海夫纳发誓[花♥花♥公♥子♥创办人]
Don't take that name in vain.
不要随便提起他的名字
If someone is important to you,
如果那人对你很重要
you tell them you're moving.
你就会告诉他你要搬走了
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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